TRANSLATIONS FOR INTERNET DATING SERVICE LINGO

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS TERMINOLOGY
40-ish = 49
Adventurous = Slept with everyone
Athletic = Small breasts
Average looking = Ugly
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure = On medication
Feminist = Fat
Free spirit = Junkie  (men and women)
Friendship first = Former very “friendly” person
Fun = Annoying  (men and women)
New Age = Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded = Desperate
Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing  (men and women)
Passionate = Sloppy drunk  (men and women)
Voluptuous = Very Fat
Large frame = Hugely Fat  (men and women)
Wants soulmate = Stalker

DICTIONARY FOR MEN’S PERSONAL ADS TERMINOLOGY
I am hungry = I am hungry
I am sleepy = I am sleepy
I am tired = I am tired
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = let’s have sex now
I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay

Someone sent me these and I thought I would share them and give you a giggle.

Michele the Matchmaker