EXAMPLES OF POTENTIAL CLIENTS BON JOUR MATCHMAKING HAS DECLINED

I received a call from a 62 year old doctor who is interested in dating women in their thirties and having children. He has never been married or had children. So now, at the age of 62 that’s his agenda. My women are ONLY interested in meeting men who are age appropriate, especially to have children with. DECLINED…

I received a call from a 36 year old man who is divorced, no children. His primary focus was how many women he would meet and how quickly. He told me that he met 100 women in a 2 year period through internet dating services and dating apps. He also did not want children or to date someone with children and in the age range he specified my women either have them or want them.

I am a matchmaker with all that implies. I do not just throw people at each other, I matchmake! So, you will surely meet less people but those who are more appropriate for you rather than just anybody and everybody. DECLINED…

I received a call from a 55 year old, divorced man. He has no children and now wants to have children. So his desired age range for matches was 35-45. After talking with him for 3 hours cumulatively he finally told me that he plans to move to South America as soon as the Pandemic ends to start a business. My women have lives and cannot just drop everything and pick up and move out of the country. That is something he should have told me in the very beginning of the conversation. It would have ended there. Again, my women date age appropriate men regardless of the older man’s financial status. I suggested he hire a matchmaker after he moves. DECLINED…

WHY YOU MAY NOT BE THE RIGHT CLIENT FOR THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER

Singles hire a matchmaker because they are having trouble of some kind in their interactions with dating.  Yes, it is to find the right person who has as yet been elusive, but there may be many things you yourself are doing that derail, curtail or just plain prevent successful long term relationships.

One glaring example is you are difficult or impossible to connect with.  Whether it be by phone or setting up meetings or dates.  If I have trouble getting you on the phone that alerts me that my clients may also have difficulty that may cause them to get frustrated and just move on.  If that’s how I feel you can be sure that’s how they will feel.  If I find this the case before you even become a client (which happened this morning) I will suggest that you contact another Denver matchmaking service.  My clients expect and deserve reliable people to meet for potential relationships.

If I find that you do not follow directions well even though I repeat them over and over it will discourage me from working with you as there are contracts stating timing that you have to adhere to and other things that, as a client, you need to follow through on as there is usually someone waiting for an answer (someone meaning a prospective match or me).

Whether you are in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service as a client or out in the world dating, look at the obstacles you are putting in the way of smoothly getting to know someone and cultivating a potential relationship.  Actions that may be discouraging, frustrating or just plain turning good potential mates off.  THAT is what I help with, that is the coaching in Bon Jour Matchmaking that is so invaluable!

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL I MEET IN THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

When you call for your FREE phone consultation you may ask how many people you will meet.  First of all that is primarily up to you.  When I show you profiles at the time of your interview if you do not select anyone that is your prerogative.  If once you are on file as a client you turn down everyone who wants to meet you then, again, that is up to you.

I have no way of knowing how many people you will meet and my goal is not to set you up with everyone in town.  This is matchmaking.  The phone consultation does not go into the detailed depth that the interview does so by the time I know your background and all of your criteria and preferences at the interview the number of prospective matches obviously will go down.  This is matchmaking, the information has to fit on both sides to make a match.

Most people choose to meet one person at a time, however, again that is up to each individual.  You are NOT buying a “package of dates” so however many people seem to fit and appeal to you over time you are welcome to choose.  Then it is up to each of them whether they are interested.  But there is no limit to how many people you meet.  Other than MY goal which is to hit “the one” with as few matches as possible.

The fact is you only need ONE…the right ONE.  My goal is and has always been to set you up with only the most appropriate people so that you may achieve your goal sooner than later.

IS THIS YOU? THEN YOU ARE A GOOD PROSPECT FOR BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

I do not decide exclusively upon my own criteria whether we should work together.  Primarily that has been decided by my current clients who have been very specific as to their preferences and criteria…just like you would be if you were a client.  Bon Jour is the ONLY Denver matchmaking service that does not have ANY reviews stating the client was set up with people who did not fit their specified criteria.  So, don’t take it personally and don’t blame the messenger (me) if I feel that we shouldn’t work together.  Rather be grateful that I told you the truth and did not scam you out of your money!

Just to try and make things simpler, following is a list of traits that will tell you if you and Bon Jour Matchmaking Service are a good match which include both my perimeters and my clients’ criteria:

  1. You have read to some extent through this website;
  2. You understand the philosophy of Bon Jour as a matchmaking service NOT a dating service;
  3. You perceive my clients as a clientele NOT a database;
  4. Female clients prefer men who are 5’7″ or taller;
  5. Male clients prefer women who are no more than a size 10;
  6. My female clients are well educated and prefer men who are equally educated;
  7. Most of my clientele will not consider someone who is unvaccinated (some will);
  8. None of my clients will date smokers;
  9. None of my clients will consider someone who is separated;
  10. None of my clients will consider someone with sleeve or full body tattoos;
  11. You are NOT obsessed with how many people I have relating to you because once I hear your preferences that number will surely drop;
  12. You are looking to meet age appropriate matches NOT people much younger who don’t want to meet people in your age range;
  13. You are a woman between 27 and 60; You are a man between 30 and 65;
  14. You understand that meeting a bunch of people who do not fit your preferences and criteria is not what I do here.  (For example: packages of dates for a finite period of time which is what other local services do);
  15. You understand that you are only matched with people both who fit your preferences and you fit theirs. YOU make the final decision on who you meet;
  16. You are willing to listen to and perhaps follow my coaching;
  17. You may meet as many people as you feel are an appropriate match, however the goal is to be discerning enough that you meet the “right” one on your first or second match…regardless of how long that takes to happen;
  18. Your goal is to meet the RIGHT person NOT a bunch of the wrong people and that may take time;
  19. You understand that the perfect person may not be on file the exact day you interview;
  20. You understand that this is not a race.  We are looking for the “right” person and that may take time thus the open-ended contract.  You are in the service until you reach your goal.

If you feel that this describes you then call me for your FREE phone consultation!  No appointment necessary for that.  If you genuinely feel this is a numbers game, this is NOT the right service for you.  I am a Matchmaker with all that implies.

SINGLES, YOU MUST BE BETTER CONSUMERS WITH DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICES

I am hearing from Denver singles on a regular basis how disappointed they are in the local matchmaking services they’ve chosen.  It is always the same reasons…too expensive, no information or photos of prospective matches, matches who are not even close to the criteria set forth initially/ongoing and a lack of interaction with the owner/matchmakers once they are a client and do not respond when you contact them.  

Don’t work with “matchmakers” who really have no experience in this field and have been educated and working in some other vocation but thought matchmaking would be fun.  It’s too serious to you and too much money to “play” matchmaker.

If you are the type of person who wants to see a questionnaire and pictures of prospects why are you letting someone talk you into eliminating that to do it their way.  Especially, in certain instances, when the owner/matchmakers haven’t been doing this business for very long.

Also, don’t join a service that doesn’t fit for you because you liked the owner.  That is ridiculous!  You should be taking a good look at the structure, what information and services you are paying this fee for and how long the person has been matchmaking.  Obviously the longer someone has been matchmaking (and I don’t mean for other companies who did it differently) makes a HUGE difference in your success and experience in their service.  I’m not saying to ignore your interaction with the owner, however after 33 years in Denver matchmaking I can tell you that even with a client that was not the best partnership for me, that had nothing to do with my interest or success in reaching their romantic goal.  It is one component but should NEVER be the entire reason to ignore all of the other features.

Rather than make a large investment in services that don’t fit for you, shop through a Google or Bing search Denver matchmakers, Denver matchmaking, matchmaking in Denver and call them, then compare.  If you are willing to spend thousands of dollars then you should be willing to do your homework prior to spending it.

Last, but not least, services that have limited contracts and/or limited matches (where you purchase a specific number of matches) are a waste of your emotion, time and financial resources.  They have their own agenda and it is all about the money, not you.   As I’ve said several times on this site, a service that won’t quote you their rate on the phone and interviews you in coffee shops or hotels (anywhere outside of a private office) should be avoided!  If you follow this advice it will save you a lot of frustration and money.

WHO IS MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER FIELDS?

Born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware I moved to Denver in 1981. I had never been here, did not know anyone here and did not have a job. Just showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed…like any 25 year old.

From 25 to 33 I had a variety of jobs but primarily was a legal secretary. Excited to be in this big city with so many options and people, I dated veraciously which in hindsight may have been my mistake. After 8 marriage proposals I never really met the “right” one for me…so I know that the “numbers game” is just that…a game not worth playing.

As a lifelong insomniac I realized that working specific hours was making it worse so decided to start my own business with my own hours. The only Denver matchmaking service then was GE and as a single myself looked at their structure and decided to do the total opposite thus creating my niche which has flourished since 1989!

During all this dating and working I volunteered as a rape crisis counselor for RAAP, a counselor for Safehouse for Battered Women and a bereavement counselor for a hospice. I also was involved in fundraising through golf tournaments such as the NFL Alumni Association and the Restaurant Association. I also volunteered at Skyview Retirement Home for 6 years specifically for those who had no family support. Was even included in one of their weddings!

I have a PhD. in dating and relationships from 40 years of doing so unlike someone who has been married for years and doesn’t know the landscape or the current dating apps and internet dating sites. I can totally relate to the frustrations, disappointments, excitement, anticipation and all that goes with trying to find your life partner. Thus allowing me to counsel, console and hand hold my clients during this process. Also to make sure that each match has the best chance by clarifying, correcting and sharing communication between clients so this delicate match has every chance of succeeding.

Here’s your matchmaker from 1989 to 2021…

Michele 'The Matchmaker' Portrait
Michele Fields Portrait

DIRECT AND HONEST or CHARISMATIC AND UNTRUSTWORTHY

Which Do You Prefer?

Are you the type of person who falls for charm and charisma and lives to regret it?  Those charismatic charmers are often called scammers.  I have a relative who is very, very charismatic, however once he’s “got” you he’s like a snake and will bite you the minute you are off guard. Yes, they are wonderful to chat with but beware of doing business with them or getting romantically involved.

When you are doing business and making a financial investment whether it be with a financial advisor or a personal Matchmaker, is it more important to you that they have a “good bedside manner” even if they are not trustworthy?  There are many business owners like that in all categories of business who have left a trail of very pissed off people behind them.  In the long run the truth is the most important component regardless of the type of business.  Charisma only goes so far and in the long run cannot hide that you’ve been “taken”. Denver matchmaking services are notorious for this.

So, my personal preference is honesty, however that is delivered.  Preferably if it is delivered with tact, that would be the best scenario, but the two aren’t always compatible.  The recipient of the truth may not take it well no matter how it’s delivered if they don’t like the information.  After 33 years of working closely with various personality types I know “you can’t please all the people all the time”.  But I’d rather be known for being direct and honest representing Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, than someone who is charming but can’t be trusted.

Because of my upbringing back East (although I’ve been in Denver for 40 years) you will notice the directness and perceive the honesty.  Believe it or not I have mellowed in the 40 years…you can take the girl out of the east but you can’t completely take the east out of the girl.  Most people living in Denver are from other states where they were raised and have brought that upbringing with them.  That’s one of the things that makes Denver cosmopolitan and diverse!

Everyone has a choice about how they wish to appear to others.  The length of time I’ve been matchmaking in Denver makes me an authority on my clients and how things work in my service. After all, I’ve created Bon Jour Matchmaking based on the structures of other services that I found to be not client friendly.  It also gives me insight into what does not work with Denver matchmaking services.  I have complete confidence in my approach which may be interpreted as cool or bottom line.  My choice has been and will continue to be direct and honest about the service, the clients and myself.  That does not appeal to everyone, but I feel if I’m asking you to entrust both with your heart and your investment in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, you deserve the truth and nothing but the truth.  How else can you be successful in this endeavor?  We have to be honest with each other.  A lack of honesty is often what is missing in dating and that’s why potential relationships fail.  I hope to bridge the gaps that can come up, especially early in a relationship.

Denver Dating and Denver Matchmaking Services’ Sales Tactics

If you call the company and ask a lot of questions that they will not answer on the phone move on! If you ask their fees and they will not quote them over the phone move on!  If they are insistent that you come into their office or meet them in a coffee shop or hotel without giving you much information by phone, hang up! Any service should be willing to answer your questions over the telephone. If they do coerce you to meet with them, they will use a hard sell to capture you.  It is reasonable that there are certain questions that you may ask that cannot be answered until you’ve been interviewed. I’ve also heard of services showing fake profiles to capture your business but once you are a client suddenly those people are not available.  There is a franchise matchmaking service who is notorious for that according to clients who have used them.

If they interview you in a coffee shop or at a hotel rather than an office setting, hang up.  Especially if the fee is $2,000 or more but they want you to meet in a public forum, what’s up with that???  Presumably you don’t want your personal business exposed in Starbucks or any other public forum where others can hear.  It’s not like you can whisper in that environment, with the grounding of beans, talking and music, you are practically yelling at each other…so all your info is out there for everyone to hear!  Also, with so much noise it is possible for them to misinterpret something you’ve said because they couldn’t hear you…but everyone sitting around you may hear you.

Companies who have several owners, “matchmakers” or “sales associates” can be a red flag.  One may do the initial interview, another may set you up, another may call you back.  Often you are not working with the same person all through your experience.  It is important that all employees and owners know ALL of the clients or how else can they really match you based on your common preferences?  That also means there are a lot of people sharing the income which may make the fees higher.  I just spoke with a woman who was quoted a $3500 fee for 3 introductions in 3 months!  That’s almost $1166 per introduction, she’s just getting your money upfront.  And what if she doesn’t match you with the appropriate 3 guys?  Apparently that local service will then drop a small percentage off of the $3500 to sign you again for another 3 intros in 3 months.  That’s just plain unreasonable and additionally she was quoted that fee where?  Yes, they met in a Starbucks!

Any dating service or matchmaking service that does not show you profiles with pictures should really be avoided.  Don’t let them tell you that it is too superficial to view photos.  There needs to be an attraction both physically and in-depth with a person you are meeting.  That is also one of the main things you are paying for when you hire a service.  To see lots of information on each client and current photos.  DO NOT join a service that doesn’t offer profiles to view.

On the other hand, Speed Dating is totally superficial.   You might as well go to a bar for FREE and just look around and see who you are attracted to and talk to them for more than 5 or 7 minutes.  I have never heard of anyone meeting their mate through that Speed Dating and I’ve been matchmaking for 33 years!

Take your time and think through what each service tells you and what is really reasonable before joining a service.  Many singles are disappointed after using various local services.  But the services don’t lie about their fees or structures and if you choose them anyway with high fees, no profiles, no office, lots of “matchmakers” or sales associates then you’ve gotten what you bought into.  Be a good consumer!

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OMG LOOK WHAT DENVER MATCHMAKERS ARE CHARGING!

This information was taken directly from the VIDA website in 2020 (Those fees have probably increased since this posting):

THE DENVER DATING COMPANY:https://kdvr.com/news/local/denver-singles-site-had-barely-any-women-on-it-lawsuit-claims/embed/#?secret=MXVyUZsDwo

Just received a call from a woman who went in to do a consultation with them. She expressed that they were disorganized and lied about a number of things such as length of time in business stating they’ve been in business 22 years. So I went on the BBB site and they have an F rating and have only been in business ONE YEAR! Also on the BBB they listed the owner as Mrs. Owner so they won’t disclose who owns and operates that service. I’m surprised the BBB accepted that! DO NOT GIVE THIS COMPANY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER (OR ANY COMPANY). THEY DO NOT NEED IT TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK!!!

KRIS KENNY CONNECTIONS:

Around $3,500 for 6 months$8,400 for 12 months, and a “VIP” 1-year membership starts at $15,000. Clients typically get a minimum of 1 match per month.

KELLEHER INTERNATIONAL:

Starts around $25,000 and can go higher than $150,000. Cost depends on the number of cities you’d like matchmakers to include in the search, as well as a few other factors. No matter which membership package you choose, you’ll get 13 months worth of search time, and a full year’s worth of pause time.

LUMA:

Having a matchmaker scout for highly compatible singles requires a premium membership, which starts around $5,000. Membership prices can top out north of $50,000, depending on the level of service you’d like.

CALIBER MATCH:

Being listed in the pool of Denver singles is free, but it’s a passive membership – you’ll only be matched when you fit someone else’s criteria. If you want a matchmaker to look for your ideal partner, you’ll need to pay for a Premier membership.

Paid memberships start around $8,500 for 6 months, and $15,000 for 12 months of matchmaking services.

VIDA SELECT:

Clients pay for matchmaking services by the month, rather than committing to a long-term contract. Monthly packages run between $495 and $1,695.

Compiled from VIDA Select.

BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE: NOT LISTED ON VIDA

ONE-TIME investment fee ranging from $4500-$5500 with an open-ended contract for all clientsPer introduction fee of $35 on both sides of the introduction. What am I paying for at Bon Jour32 years of Denver matchmaking success with more than 300 marriages in the past 33 years!

NOT LISTED ON VIDA: THE SOCIAL: MODERN MATCHMAKING:

There’s a new service in town who runs the same way as all the other services. No profiles, no pictures, no experience and a very young and new owner charging $10,000 to $12,000 per contract according to a recent new client of mine! This is also another local service getting YOUR matches from other matchmakers without photos, profiles or personal interviews or your knowledge due to a lack of clientele. How does the dating part work? In a review of this service someone wrote: she sends a text to both of us saying meet at this location at this time. We don’t get pictures before the date or any information.

In addition, my new client shared that the guy working for this owner hit on her during what was suppose to be her zoom interview. She met him for lunch and now he’s constantly texting and calling her to go out again. As well as being inappropriate, it totally turned her off of the whole company.

IN BON JOUR MATCHMAKING WE ARE PARTNERS

When you first contact me to ask questions about my service that is when we both start evaluating whether my structure, philosophy and personality fit for you and I assess whether you truly understand my philosophy, whether you are realistic, your dating attitude and whether we communicate well enough to work together.  To make this a successful partnership both sides have to fit…just like with your matches.

As it says all over my website this is an OLD FASHIONED MATCHMAKING SERVICE.  Presumably you are calling me because you understand that and all that means.  So to ask me how many are in my “database” right off the bat tells me you don’t get it.  My clients are not a “database”, they are clients.  Would you want to be considered part of a database or a client?  One implies a much closer relationship than the other.

If your philosophy is the more people I meet the more apt I am to find the right one, that it’s a numbers game, this is not the service for you.  This is a MATCHMAKING service, consequently you are not thrown together with just anyone in your age range or that you purchased in a package.  You are MATCHED, on both sides, with the most appropriate people.  I presume you are only looking for “The ONE”, not the bunch to have a serious relationship with or marry.  Remember, almost all the couples who have married, married either the first or second person I introduced them to.

If we decide to work together I will ask you to send me a minimum of 6 pictures prior to your interview.  If you do not follow that request it becomes clear that you may be difficult to work with.  There are things in this service that you agree to follow as on the Behavioral Agreement and Contract and I need to see prior to our meeting that you are reliable and follow through.  That’s why people select Bon Jour, because the clients are reliable and have the same goal unlike in other local matchmaking services.  Again, this is a partnership and from the very first contact it becomes clear to me whether you are with me or against me.  For your best results we need to be partners.

When we work together I am your advocate, confidant, partner, agent and representative.  I am always present either in person or by phone when I read someone your profile and send them your photos so they often ask my opinion of you and/or whether you would be a better choice than someone else they have viewed.  So if I were the client I would be as nice, polite, obliging and cooperative with my matchmaker as possible so that when a prospect asks about me my matchmaker would gush about how much they like me and how easy I am to work with, etc.  Does that make sense?

Some of the Posts on my website may come off as very direct and emphatic.  I am very confidant both in my matchmaking abilities based on the almost 33 years of matchmaking and the structure of this service.  I didn’t purchase Bon Jour from someone else, I created it in 1989.  I didn’t work for another service and then decide to steal their clients and start my own.  This is and always has been my baby.  My clients are my “kids” and I’m as protective of them as a mother would be of her children.  I guess the bottom line is…you can choose to be part of a database or you can choose to be one of my clients.  Either way I wish you the best of luck in your quest! 

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