MATCHMAKING, COACHING, LISTENING AND LEARNING AT THIS DENVER SERVICE

Hiring a matchmaking service is a lot like hiring a financial adviser to direct you in the stock market.  You invest your money hoping for a large return; you have patience because the market can go up and down and you are basically making an educated decision about this form of investment.  Likewise in a matchmaking service your investment is in the hopes that you will meet people who you’ve been searching for up to this point; you are directed by the matchmaker which candidates (like stocks) will give you the best return; it can take time to meet the most appropriate matches and they may be successful or not.  It’s an investment in the process.  Again, patience is key.  With my open-ended contract you have the best opportunity to meet the “right” person when they present themselves.

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service not only matches you with an abundance of information and photos of each client but also includes coaching.   The important and valuable thing about the dating coaching aspect is that I am objective and receiving feedback on both sides of the match.  That way I can follow if you have a trend of doing something that undermines potential relationships and am able to share that with you and hopefully correct it.  That has come up a lot recently with many of my clients.

Although they are very well educated, accomplished and outstanding individuals they tend to make the same mistakes with each match as I learn from the feedback.  Consequently we have to address this so that they will be more successful in the future.  I can set you up with terrific people, but if you keep undermining the process you will get the same results…I can lead a horse to water but I can’t make it drink out of a glass.

The first suggestion I would make to anyone considering working with a Denver matchmaker is that rather than say, this is the type of person I usually date or this is my type and this isn’t you keep an open mind.  If this is the “type” you usually date it isn’t working and perhaps you should consider being more open minded rather than repeating a “type” that hasn’t been working out.  In my 40 year dating “career”, although there were certain looks I was most attracted to I also made room for other things about a person that I found attractive.  We all know couples who, on paper, don’t seem to match up very much or look odd together, but low and behold they have long and happy marriages because the very most important attributes such as values, morals, some level of attraction and goals are a match.

If what you’ve been doing in selecting the people you date and/or behaving the same way on dates has not been working (and I presume that’s why you are on here reading this), doesn’t it make sense to try another approach?  That’s not to say that you can’t and won’t meet people you find attractive in all ways (that’s your decision to make after reading their profile and viewing their photos as well as my input), I’m just saying rather than being more narrow when you hire a matchmaker, be more open.

This Denver Matchmaker Wants You to Succeed!

Posted by Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields

I’m writing this Post to emphasize and explain two important aspects of this service and your profile when you become a client.

The two most important areas are also the ones most clients have difficulty with.  First, your pictures for Bon Jour Matchmaking.  My clients are quite savvy and know when the pictures are professional which they discount immediately because of the better lighting, make up and photo shopping.  So I request snapshots.  I need both head and full length.  Most of the people just try to find their various pictures on their computer and use those which often leads to me saying that I need them to get with a friend (or whomever) and take a bunch of photos in various outfits and send me the best ones.  This should not be that big a deal but people seem to get very frazzled with this process.  It is to the client’s benefit to have pictures that are clear, current, uncluttered with other people and places and most people end up doing just that.  Remember, I want you to succeed!  Giving me pictures that are more “Internet dating services” type pictures will not be well received by clients and are not appropriate in most cases for Bon Jour.

The second very important component is the Narrative that a new client writes shortly after the interview once they have viewed multiple profiles and read their Narratives.  I am very specific at what should and should not be included in this.  It is all of half of a page, however again people lose their minds over this.  You all went to college and worked a lot harder at assignments than this requires, however many people have a tough time getting this right.

The purpose of the Narrative is to pull the whole picture together, including information that is not addressed elsewhere on the profile.  It is in the case where a prospective match who is on the fence will fall towards you because of information contained in that Narrative rather than away from you.  I just want you to succeed.

That is why you chose Bon Jour, for the coaching and assistance but also because of the pictures and thorough profile information.

I RECEIVED THIS A WHILE AGO FROM SOMEONE WHO VISITED MY MATCHMAKING WEBSITE

Somehow I missed this when it was posted…

BM Jun 19, 2018

I used Caliber Match’s services about 2 years ago and it was absolutely the worst experience customer service wise that I have ever had, business or personal. Emily Hellman is the owner and I can say she flat out lied to me to get me to sign a contract, but once under contract I called her out asking when things aren’t going the way she explained in my consultation meeting and she started to ignore me and only give partial answers to my questions. Basically she held me to the terms of the contract even though she didn’t follow the contract herself. My attorney told me on one hand, her lies are the only reason I signed the contract to begin with (I agree, hence why I went to him), but on the other hand, the contract is “proof” in her favor and judges like things in writing. So legal pursuit unfortunately, the risk outweighed the reward in trying to win in court for a refund. Good to see not just a customer, but another matchmaker turn her away. Since I am 100% comfortable calling her a lier, I will say she is a borderline scam artist, while doing it in a “legal” way (i.e. getting people to sign a contract).

ASK THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Every week I receive calls from singles who have used or spoken to other local Denver matchmaking services. What shocks me every time is the few questions these people ask the other services. Maybe because I conduct at least a 1 hour preliminary phone consultation they think of more questions to ask me…I don’t know. But these are the types of questions you should ask when looking for a Denver matchmaker.

  1. Does the person who will be matchmaking me know ALL of the clients?
  2. How long have you been in business?
  3. How many marriages have you had?
  4. Where is the interview conducted? In a quiet, private place or at a coffee shop or hotel?
  5. Are you matching me with YOUR clientele or with other local matchmakers? Have you interviewed and met those clients if they are not yours?
  6. Have they interviewed and met with every client?
  7. What are the different contract lengths?
  8. Do I get to view a profile of each client?
  9. Are there pictures of each client that I view?
  10. Who makes the decision on who I meet…the matchmaker and/or me?
  11. Do you vett the people I will be meeting or just grab singles where you can find them to match with me?
  12. Do you do a background check?
  13. Do you share the background check with me…even generally?
  14. Is this truly a matchmaking service or a dating service?
  15. IF it’s matchmaking why am I buying a “package of dates”?
  16. Is there coaching to help me succeed with my matches?

So I will answer all those questions for you in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service:

I meet with each client in-person and interview every client.

I have been in business for 32 years.

I have had more than 300 marriages during that time.

I NEVER call other local services to use their clientele who I’ve never met. You are ONLY matched with MY clientele.

Every client has an open ended contract.

Clients view a 6 page profile of every client.

Each client has a minimum of 6 pictures which are shared with perspective matches.

We collaboratively decide who are the best matches but ultimately the client has the last word.

Clients are ONLY matched with other clients having their profile, pictures and having done a background check on each. All clients are vetted both for my safety and that of the clients.

Yes, background checks are done on every single who calls me for the service whether they become a client or not and no expense to the clients.

I do not specifically “share” the background check other than anything interesting. If there is something negative I may not accept them as a client.

This is an old fashioned matchmaking service.

There are no packages of anything, this is matchmaking. You may meet as many or few people as you are interested in who feel the same. But my goal is to hit the perfect match with the first or second introduction. There is as much coaching as you need to help you succeed. What’s the point of introducing you to people and then having you make the same mistakes you’ve always made?

Bon Jour Matchmaking’s Mission Statement

For the past 32 years (since 1989) my goal has always been to provide a full service matchmaking experience for each and every client.  To assist clients in avoiding ruts, bad habits, poor choices and mistakes I myself have made.  I am very interactive with each client with lots of suggestions and coaching if needed.  To work only with clients who fit what my clientele is searching for and who have similar backgrounds, education, hobbies, morals, values, talents and lifestyles.  To extend an open-ended contract to each and every client so they have the time to meet the right person for them.  And last, but not least, to do all of this with a one-time investment fee that is designed specifically for each person.

You should understand that I turn down many of the people who call for Bon Jour. Either because they don’t fit what my clients are searching for, because they don’t “get it” or because it’s a fair investment and if I’m not sure I can help I suggest we don’t work together. To clarify what that means…I do NOT make any money in any of those cases and save those people from making an investment that may not be right for them.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE

 NOTE:  If your mentality is that it’s a numbers game and you wish to meet someone every week…this is NOT the service for you.  This is a MATCHMAKING service NOT a dating service.  It is VERY specific in introducing you ONLY to people who fit your criteria and preferences, and of course, you fit theirs.  THAT is why it is so successful!

To understand my overall structure please read the HOME PAGE for an overview.  Just click on the link to go to that Page or Post.  Also you may wish to read WHAT AM I PAYING FOR AT BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE If you are married or separated please do not call me as my clients are only interested in people who are currently available for a long term relationship and/or marriage.

Be sure to read the lists of What Effects Your Investment Fee in Bon Jour.  Any one or more of those listed may bring DOWN your fee!

One of the biggest differences about Bon Jour Matchmaking from any other service is the Win/Win Policy.  Click on the link to go to that information.

It might interest you why I turn down so many potential clients.  I think this makes a lot of sense on both sides of the equation.  In addition you may want to read WHY YOU MAY NOT BE THE RIGHT CLIENT FOR THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER.

Another Page you may want to read is WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE INTERVIEW so there won’t be any surprises and you can view my home office. Yes, I have a private office in which I keep all my client profiles and where you can be candid and open when we meet, unlike services who interview you in public forums.  Check out  YOUR PICTURES FOR BON JOUR

The next Page you should view is POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE. That Page has an abundance of Posts for you to access with both general information about dating/matchmaking services as well as advice in a variety of areas, i.e., selecting services, matchmaking service fees, what turns men off, how to be a collaborative Bon Jour Matchmaking client, etc. Of course you do not have to read every Post listed on that Page, just the ones that interest you the most.

Another Post of interest may be What types of singles are the most successful when working with a Denver Matchmaker.  This information is based on knowing personally each and every client, their priorities, their preferences and their criteria.

Exciting New Policy

CLIENTS’ TESTIMONIALS is a Page you should read as those reviews of Bon Jour Matchmaking go all the way back to 1989.  I could not include all Testimonials I’ve received over the 30 years, however those should give you an idea of how clients feel about the structure and working with me.

For personal background information on me you should view the Page entitled ABOUT THIS PROFESSIONAL DENVER MATCHMAKING EXPERT. This will give you info on my volunteer work in the community, how old I was when I started the service, etc.

There are approximately 186+ Posts on Michele’s Blog all of which give you an insight into the clientele, my work ethic, the structure of the service and more.  Also the Pages on the right hand navigation will take you to important information. Once you feel you understand the service, for the most part and have questions, please phone me to chat. Especially phone me if you do not understand my philosophy or have questions about things you have read or perhaps missed reading. For my hours you may go to HOURS, LOCATIONS AND FEES for specifics.

I hope this Post/Page helps you navigate the site more easily.  Call me to schedule your FREE phone consultation at 303-756-8106 or write to michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

How To Judge Whether a Matchmaking Service Is Right For You

If my friend has used a dating service and it has either been very successful for them or unsuccessful for them, is that a good way to judge the service? Will I likely have the same outcome?

A big mistake that many people make is to judge a service by their friend’s success or lack thereof. Each person has his/her own expectations, peculiarities, taste, personality and preferences. Consequently each person may have a different experience in one service.

I may present 10 profiles to your friend that they accept and want to meet.  When you come in, based on your preferences and other information I may show you 15 profiles and you only have an interest in 2.  Everyone is different…look at your married friends’ spouses.  Would you marry them or even go on a date with them?  To each their own.

I believe, from my observations, that timing and fate have alot to do with an individual’s success, along with the aforementioned characteristics which differ from person to person. So it is unwise to judge a service by the experience of another.

What you can judge are length of time in business, success rate, whether the clientele fits for your personality and background and whether the fees are reasonable.  It is very important that the structure of the service fits with your particular personality.

WHO IS MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER FIELDS?

Born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware I moved to Denver in 1981. I had never been here, did not know anyone here and did not have a job. Just showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed…like any 25 year old.

From 25 to 33 I had a variety of jobs but primarily was a legal secretary. Excited to be in this big city with so many options and people, I dated veraciously which in hindsight may have been my mistake. After 8 marriage proposals I never really met the “right” one for me…so I know that the “numbers game” is just that…a game not worth playing.

As a lifelong insomniac I realized that working specific hours was making it worse so decided to start my own business with my own hours. The only service then was GE and as a single myself looked at their structure and decided to do the total opposite thus creating my niche which has flourished for 32 years!

During all this dating and working I volunteered as a rape crisis counselor for RAAP, a counselor for Safehouse for Battered Women and a bereavement counselor for a hospice. I also was involved in fundraising through golf tournaments such as the NFL Alumni Association and the Restaurant Association. I also volunteered at Skyview Retirement Home for 6 years specifically for those who had no family support. Was even included in one of their weddings!

I have a PhD. in dating and relationships from 40 years of doing so unlike someone who has been married for years and doesn’t know the landscape or the current dating apps and internet dating sites. I can totally relate to the frustrations, disappointments, excitement, anticipation and all that goes with trying to find your life partner. Thus allowing me to counsel, console and hand hold my clients during this process. Also to make sure that each match has the best chance by clarifying, correcting and sharing communication between clients so this delicate match has every chance of succeeding.

HOW TO BE A REALISTIC DENVER MATCHMAKING CLIENT

When hiring a Matchmaker you share the responsibility with the Matchmaker to work together, put your best foot forward, have an amicable relationship with that Matchmaker and be realistic in your expectations.

If you join a matchmaking service it is their responsibility to show your profile to the most appropriate candidates. Not to waste your time setting you up with prospects that do not fit your preferences. It is your responsibility to be realistic with your criteria and realize that whenever you are shown a profile you have the right to turn it down. Conversely when your profile is shown to a prospect they have every right to turn you down.  Remember that although new clients come in every week they may not fit your preferences, be the opposite sex or select to meet you.  So the key is patience…sometimes there is a match right away and sometimes it can take time until the right person enters the service.  Try not to get discouraged if it takes time as it is better to be set up with a few great matches than tons of people who don’t fit your preferences!

The job of the Denver Matchmaker is to go over profiles with each client and be sure there are no misunderstandings in the information set forth, also that neither party overly analyzes this information or reads into it. Using a Matchmaker will help you answer questions you’ve never even thought of.  A Matchmaker will help you focus in on what’s important, even if it may seem superficial.

Additionally coaching is an important component of matchmaking.  Many good potential relationships get derailed during the first month or two due to lack of communication as well as miscommunication.  I am there to convey and correct these issues as well as if there is something you are doing consistently to sabotage relationships I will point that out to you so that you may address the issue.  The last two marriages in Bon Jour would never have happened had I not gotten in the middle in the first couple of months and straightened out a lack of communication in both instances!

As THE Matchmaker at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service in Denver I offer the most reasonable investment to new clients in the Front Range.  You are a client until you find your match with no additional fees than the one-time investment fee and per introduction fee of $35.  That’s it, call to discuss your personal situation with me at 303-756-8106 so that I may quote you your personal investment fee.

POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Read These Pearls of Wisdom Before Investing in a Service

(click on the title to go to the Post)

Everything You Want to Know About This Denver Matchmaking Service

IS THIS YOU? THEN YOU ARE A GOOD PROSPECT FOR BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

Bon Jour Matchmaking’s Mission Statement

How To Impress Your Denver Matchmaker

What Effects Your Investment Fee in Bon Jour Matchmaking

What Does Open-Ended Contract Mean?

Why Choose Bon Jour Matchmaking Service

How To Interpret Negative Yelp Reviews

What Am I Paying For At Bon Jour Matchmaking Service?

Why Matchmakers, Dating Coaches and Dating Services Don’t Work For Everyone

In Bon Jour We Are Partners

This Matchmaker Has a Behavioral Agreement

Myths and Truths About Matchmaking Services and Dating Services

New 2013 Changes for This 24-Year Old Matchmaking Service

The Role of a Professional Matchmaker

What Types of Singles Are the Most Successful When Working With a Denver Matchmaker?

Singles, You Must Be Better Consumers with Denver Matchmaking Services

What’s the Difference Between Bon Jour Matchmaking and Other Denver Matchmaking Services?

Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields…Denver’s Heart Hunter

Who Is Michele the Matchmaker?

Matchmaker’s Advice:  Ten Tradeoffs to Capture the Love You Seek

Professional Matchmaker’s Tips to Dating and Mating

Michele the Matchmaker Answers the Question, “Is Dating Really A Numbers Game?”

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