Denver Matchmaker Michele Fields calls this “the art of compromise.”  With 309 marriages over a 23 year period certain criteria set forth early by clients has been “traded off” for more substantial traits.  This ability by clients both male and female to balance substance with preference is why Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has had so many successful unions.

The ten tradeoffs one should consider are:

1.   They are not physically the type you envisioned yourself with;

2.   They are less educated or wealthy than you fantasized;

3.   They are older or younger than you pictured yourself with;

4.   He has less hair than you’d like/she’s a bit heavier than you’d like;

5.   They are shyer/more awkward than you usually date;

6.   He’s shorter than you would like/she’s taller than your usual type;

7.   They remind you of someone you loved who hurt you;

8.   He’s not as well endowed as you usually prefer/She’s more or less sexual than your typical type;

9.   You’re a fanatic about perfect grammar and they are less articulate than you see yourself with;

Last, but not least:

10.   They’ve never been married before even though they’ve been in long-term relationships.

You don’t have to dump all of the above, but for instance a shy, awkward person is probably not a “player”.  Whereas a smooth, assertive flirt or life of the party can’t focus on one person and has to have everyone want them.  Now there’s a worthwhile trade…

Best of luck in this very complex, eratic (at times), exciting life passage of navigating the single world.

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to

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