Compiling feedback from my male clients as well as male friends over these many years I have uncovered one of the reasons men don’t call back after a first meeting/date.
The most frequent reason, aside from the obvious they’re not interested, is that they didn’t get those elusive positive, interested, attracted vibes back from the woman they met. Men HATE rejection, so if they don’t feel that they will receive a positive response they will not call in most cases.
Part of my matchmaking coaching is to let both sides of the match know the interest level (which they share with me in their feedback) of the other person when this situation arises. Most potential relationships would be “dead in the water” if I didn’t poke my nose in and correct these misinterpretations. So many potential meetings have turned into relationships because they had a “nosy” Matchmaker in the middle clarifying behavior to each party and not dropping the ball.
Both parties need to make their interest known (if they are interested) so as not to leave the other person too insecure to pursue them. If you go through the uncomfortable effort of meeting new and potential partners, it should follow that you need to be communicative when you meet them. For example, if you are not interested DON’T SAY YOU WILL CALL THEM. Just say how nice it was to meet them and leave it at that. They will get the message.
Also, don’t judge someone by one thing they do that doesn’t appeal to you during the initial meeting. They are as uncomfortable as you are and are just trying to act natural so they may make some mistakes. There is too much prejudging which stops things before they even get started. On the other hand people usually tell you who they are right away. Believe them! Many a partner has overlooked IMPORTANT negative signs right in the beginning which turned up later in the relationship. Don’t ignore those thinking that you can change that behavior or this person won’t act that way with you. You can’t and they will.
Whether you are using the Internet, a social group or a personal Matchmaker the above advice is something to think about before your next first date. Best of luck as always…
Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields, Heart Hunter