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99% of the seniors who phone me for matchmaking tell me right away that they look and act much younger than their age.  Well first of all this is Denver so lots of people feel that way and are correct, also at this point in time lots of people are active, healthy and appear younger than their age.

The women say I don’t want to be a nursemaid to an old guy and the men want to date 15-20 years younger than themselves all because their perception of their peers is that they are old.  IF YOU ARE YOUTHFUL AND ACTIVE FOR YOUR AGE WHY WOULDN’T THAT BE TRUE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX AS WELL?

Certainly and obviously, the reason many of these people are still single or single again is because they are not looking any deeper than the surface.  That IS a byproduct of living in Colorado (see the blog about 5280 Magazine‘s article).  With women it’s usually height and hair, the guys aren’t tall enough to please them.  With the men it could be figure, age, hair, etc., etc. You are not perfect so why do you expect and demand perfection?  Do you want a perfect looking person who runs at the first sign of trouble or when someone hotter comes along, or a mate who you are attracted to who makes you happy and who you can have a good life with?

I regularly hear of clients who have tried the Internet dating sites/apps and met all kinds of diverse people. But when they come to a Matchmaker suddenly, they have strict, narrow criteria and are not flexible. If you are open minded on the Internet why are you not flexible when it really counts and you go to a professional? Paying a professional Matchmaker means working with him/her together to adjust your expectations, open your important preferences and be open as much as you are meeting someone outside of the matchmaking service. That is the only way to be successful.  The singles who have done that over the 33+ years I’ve been matchmaking had success and got married!

You can have a short relationship with perfection and then you’re back on the market when they dump you for someone younger, more athletic, better looking and wealthier, or you can take a good hard look at your future and what is the most beneficial course for you.  This is not a beauty contest, this is your life and at this stage of your life I would hope you only want to marry or have a committed relationship one more time…your last first date.  You can accomplish that by adjusting your thought pattern from your twenties.  In your twenties most of your criteria is superficial, then you move to your forties when it is a combination of superficial and substance.  When you reach your fifties and beyond, of course you want someone who you are attracted to, but whether they are sane, healthy, kind, supportive, loyal, financially responsible, communicative, intelligent and many other substantive traits should be your primary concern.  Those are the traits that make relationships last and isn’t that what you really want?

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to http://bonjourms.com

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