If through the year you’ve had your eye on someone you have an interest in but they are involved, the holidays are usually the “make it or break it” time when they either break up or go to the next level.  At least that is the general rule…so hang in there, I know several men who, although they are in relationships are still keeping the door open in case those end.

The holidays are a tough time for men who have just started dating someone.  I’ve been told that if it’s a new relationship or not even a relationship yet they don’t want to be expected to buy gifts, spend the important days with that person or ask them out for New Year’s Eve.  They just may not be “there” yet.  Men are so confused as to what to do that they will often put off dating someone new until after the holidays.

Women on the other hand have all kinds of “hopes” (expectations) in new holiday relationships.  They hope they will spend time with the guy, they hope he will give them a “special” gift (something personal), they hope they will spend New Year’s Eve together.  All those “hopes” put lots of pressure on guys.  They also may lead to lots of disappointment for the woman.  Not all women harbor these “hopes” but many do.

How you both act during the holiday season in a new dating scenario may be a microcosm of the relationship’s future.  So keep expectations low, you may be surprised, give each other lots of room, giving a token gift is thoughtful (nothing expensive or too personal yet) and see where that leads you in January.


Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to

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