From an article in The Good Men Project:

#1 Complaining when he’s showing honest effort

As adults who gain wisdom with experience and age, we’re better at knowing what we don’t want. Some things are common knowledge, like checking in after a night out or remembering to buy a card and flowers for Valentine’s Day. Other things, men need the time to learn them. It’s unfair for a woman to assume a man “should just know” how to be in a relationship with her. If the man is trying to learn you, don’t be so quick to bite his head off if it takes him some time. If necessary, make it easier for him and give him a cheat code.

#2 Being afraid of initiating intimacy

Women have no qualms about openly lusting over guys like David Beckham, Idris Elba, and any other attractive celebrity. But why is it so difficult to outwardly compliment your man? Not those superficial “babe you look nice today” comments either. You know how it turns you on for your man to look at you and lick his lips like he’s ready to devour you? NEWS FLASH! We want and need to know that you find us sexy. It means something to have the woman you love desire you with the same intensity that you desire her.

#3 Not letting him express himself on his terms

In relationships, men usually try to avoid confrontation because we prefer peace and quiet. I know when I’m passionate about something though, I can go on for hours. Disagreements and arguments are a part of romantic relationships. I think that for some women, they spend so much of their time outside of the house being silenced and demeaned, that in the home, they can come across unnecessarily combative with their man. When things are calm, a man’s silence is read as being disengaged and apathetic. That’s not necessarily true. You can’t force meaningful conversation out of your man. But when he is ready to open up, make sure that you’ve created a comfortable space for him to do so freely.

#4 Not being present in the present moments

For as much as society says that we’re all attached to our phones, social media, and other distractions, women somehow sidestep that blame in relationships. In my previous relationship, my significant other had a different schedule than I. So I’d purposely make sure that I’d get enough work done and handle whatever I had on my to-do list to be available when she needed me. We tried our best to share that schedule. With more women working outside of the home and being the household’s sole breadwinner, their plates are overflowing. They’re wearing many hats and intimacy with their boyfriend or husband might be the area that falls to the wayside. Men can feel abandoned and neglected too. Although we’ll never beg for more time because it’s hard to see the woman we love killing herself to be all things at once. Chalk that up to ego or to a man being compassionate. Just know that your man needs you to make time for him where he isn’t sharing you with something else mentally or emotionally.

The male ego is fragile. That doesn’t infer it needs to be stroked constantly. Protecting a man’s heart the way he does yours begins with you understanding that beyond that facade, every man is capable of being hurt by a woman they truly love.

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to http://bonjourms.com

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