LET ME HELP YOU CORRECT INEFFECTIVE DATING PATTERNS
I’ve received feedback about my Posts that people love my anecdotal stories as they help clarify my points. So, to illuminate this point…I have found with some of my clients that they have a regular routine of some kind that they don’t change when they come in here and meet potential mates. Whether it be skiing every weekend in the winter, boating every weekend in the summer, going to their place in the mountains every weekend or whatever, once you have decided to work with a professional Matchmaker and meet good potential mates you HAVE to be flexible with your schedule. You can do that routine when you are single, or even in a relationship but you HAVE to make the time to nurture a potential relationship and show flexibility.
I used to have a very attractive female client who owned several places in the mountains and two dogs. On Thursday she would go to the mountains (with her dogs) until Sunday. She would NEVER change her schedule to accommodate someone she was dating. She took her dogs everywhere, including to our interview and her first meetings with matches. I’m a real animal person and don’t like animals locked up in a car for two hours and I’m sure that made her dates feel uncomfortable. But even more I received feedback from every guy she met that she wouldn’t fit time in her weekend schedule to get together, so they moved on.
Someone who does that looks very selfish, very inflexible and doesn’t appear to have a desire to nurture a relationship. All in all she appeared as a poor partner and I was never able to seal the deal for her. I spoke with her about the feedback numerous times and she claimed she would change but never did…and BTW she’s still single, surprise. I am no longer working with her as I cannot disappoint my male clients and waste their time when she won’t comply.
Recently I’ve had another beautiful female client join my service. Despite many conversations with her during and after her interview, she never told me that she goes to the mountains every weekend from Friday to Sunday. I learned about this from feedback from her matches. They asked her for another date and she is gone every weekend and they can’t even reach her by phone, so they became frustrated and moved on. The feedback from clients is invaluable.
I have not spoken with her about it yet as she is in the mountains and has no phone or internet service there…I am not only concerned about this pattern but that she hid it from me even though we’ve spoken so many times. I suspect she thought if she told me I would not work with her because deep down she has to know that this may undermine any success. But I always find out, if not directly from the client, then from feedback from their matches. When I receive negative feedback from 2 people I address that with the person so they can correct that behavior.
If a client is using it to turn off the other person because they aren’t interested but don’t know how to tell them, BAD IDEA. Just merely say how nice they are and attractive (if they are) but the chemistry just isn’t there. No one can argue with that! But don’t say things to turn them off as your rejection. Man up and be honest, trust me, they appreciate that.