What is a Behavioral Agreement?

I’ve heard complaints from clients who have used both the Internet dating sites and local dating/matchmaking services that the behavior of people they have met was inappropriate even though in some cases they’ve paid thousands of dollars for the service.  I implemented this Behavioral Agreement for every client of Bon Jour Matchmaking from day one in 1989 when Bon Jour was established so that Bon Jour clients show mutual respect.  It is most important to me that little mistakes don’t derail the success of any match.

When a new client joins the Bon Jour family they sign both a regular contract stipulating fee and responsibilities of both parties as well as a Behavioral Agreement.  Stipulated in the Behavioral Agreement are basic manners which you would assume people would know and use, however that is not always the case.  For example, clients are responsible to let me know if there is a change in their appearance so that I may update their photos, contact information changes, dating status changes, etc.

But most important to me are the points of contact, meeting and feedback.  Common sense tells you that a person can only stay excited after viewing a profile with photos for a short time.  If they have viewed many profiles they may not even remember yours specifically (until I reread it to them and send them your photo again).  So the first agreement is that the clients will contact each other within ONE week.  Secondly, they agree to meet within TWO weeks and lastly they are to CALL me with their feedback on the meeting.  Feedback consists of the obvious…did they like the person, would they like to go out with that person again or would they like to continue on the list they’ve made of several clients they have an interest in.  Was that person prompt, well-groomed, polite, interesting and any other pertinent information they wish to share.  This information is most useful to me as a Matchmaker in more intimately getting to know both clients and how they behave in a real life situation, not just an interview.  The more knowledge I have about their behavior and preferences, the better able I am to match them in the future.

Additionally, clients are asked to return my call or e-mail within THREE days so that I may present a client’s file to them, get their response and let that client know whether there is a match.  When I call there is usually a client waiting for an answer so it is most important that I receive a timely call back.  I never want to leave a client hanging because someone took their time getting back to me.

These stipulations help Bon Jour Matchmaking run smoothly, mitigate the frustration of clients on little things that may impede the success of a match and help me get to know each and every client in more depth than just at the time of the interview.  That has to be one of the main reasons there have been 313 marriages to date through Bon Jour!

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to

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