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As I said in a previous Post, some issues have come up in the past couple of years that have never come up during my 28 years of matchmaking.  One such issue is the definition of a matchmaker in general and specifically in Bon Jour Matchmaking, a Denver matchmaking service.

This website does a great job of explaining what you should and may expect when working with me.  When you hire me you will receive coaching, which means if I think or hear from prospective matches negative things about your photos, the way you have phrased things on your profile, behavior upon your initial meeting, etc. I will:

  1. Share that with you so that you may adjust any or all of those to produce a positive and successful outcome;
  2.  You are hiring me to introduce you only to people who you have described you are interested in meeting and to whose criteria you fit;
  3.  To assist you in being realistic in your expectations of others and the service;
  4.  To give you direct feedback, whether positive or negative, from matches and from people who have viewed your information and had a repetitive issue with your profile so that we may correct that;
  5.  To assist you in zeroing in on what you are looking for, what you like and dislike, what your goal is.

You are not hiring me to:

  1.  Lie to you about your marketability;
  2.  Pretend that you are younger or more attractive than feedback from prospective matches share with me;
  3.  Accept everything you say at face value without further exploration both to make sure you fit in the service, I feel that you will be successful in your goals or “yes” you to death; i.e. a gentleman called and said right off the bat, “I’m the perfect client for your service.”  With further exploration during his free phone consultation, he admitted to having sleeve tattoos.  It happens that I ask clients how they feel about tattoos.  Every woman I’ve asked has specifically said NO SLEEVE TATTOOS.  They are professional women who will be taking their significant others to business events and are acutely aware of the impression such tattoos would make.  If I hadn’t spoken with this gentleman at length I would not have found that out before accepting him as a client.  Everything else fit except that.  Consequently I did not accept him as a client and he was very gracious and understanding as well as appreciative that I was honest and didn’t take his money unwarranted.  I will never say oh don’t worry about that when I know for a fact it is an issue;
  4.  Buy into a fantasy you may have that you look/act younger than you are so you should be meeting matches considerably younger…whether you are male or female;
  5.  In this service I deal in reality so as to facilitate the best outcome for each client.  This approach has accomplished more than 300 marriages.

Your responsibility:

  1.  To be honest about everything;
  2.  To keep your pictures and information current;
  3.  Not to withhold information, i.e. that you smoke, are planning on moving out of town, how many times you’ve been married, etc.  It is very much in your best interest to share this type of info as it will reflect in the fee that I quote you.  Or may dictate that I may not be able to assist you;
  4.  Work with me rather than against me;
  5.  Accept my feedback and coaching with an open mind and an open heart (that is what you are paying for);
  6.  Give me feedback in a timely manner.

My feedback and coaching are the biggest benefits of Bon Jour Matchmaking.  They should be viewed as such rather than taken as insults or that I’m not being supportive.  The fact that I share all of that is evidence that in this service you are very supported to achieve your goal!

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to http://bonjourms.com

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