I regularly read reviews of other services, not just local but national.  I’m not taking up for these services per se, however I have a problem with people complaining they didn’t get the “right” matches for them or enough matches.  One person wrote a service claimed to have I think 500 potential matches and “only” had 100.  Wow, isn’t 100 enough?  You only need one to be the right one!  Sure, you can make it a numbers game but in 29 years of successful professional matchmaking, as I’ve said all over this site, most people married either the first or second person they met!

Definition of a dating service:  Client buys a specific number of dates for a finite period of time.  Dating service may or may not (usually not) share profiles of prospects to clients.  In most cases they just throw people at clients hoping someone will click.  Often multiple “matchmakers” who don’t know all the clients and work on commission.

Definition of a matchmaker:  One matchmaker who interviews every client, extends an open contract and zeros in on what each client is specifically looking for.  Shares photos and extensive profiles with clients, coaches and collaborates with clients as to the best match.  Does NOT play a numbers game.

Generally I think the services disclose their structure when you meet with them.  If you choose to buy into that, a package of dates for a finite time at an exorbitant fee, you chose that.  The fact that they rarely actually match make anyone with the appropriate people is a pretty well known fact.  They know all they have to do is meet the contract of a certain number of dates and they’re in the clear.

It’s not the number of people you meet, it’s the quality and the commonality of morals, values and interests that make it successful.  That can happen with ONE match if done correctly rather than putting yourself through a dating frenzy.  If you want to meet lots of people (who may or may not misrepresent themselves and/or be felons like James Holmes) use the Internet Dating Sites.  But if you are truly serious about finding a “mate” then use a reputable professional matchmaker who gives you loads of information AND pictures.  In short, use a matchmaker NOT a dating service.

Published by Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields

I have been a professional Matchmaker for 34 years in Denver, CO. My service, Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, has facilitated 300+ marriages of 600+ Colorado Front Range singles through hand holding, personalized matchmaking. For more information go to

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