DATING ADVICE FROM A MAN

For women in the dating world.

You will never convince a man to love you.

Find a man who answers when you call and texts back within minutes rather than days.

Find a man that gives you clear cut answers and doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand.

Find a man that wants to make you a part of his life rather than a chapter in his book.

Find a man who doesn’t take years and years to figure out what he wants from you.

Find a man who respects, celebrates and encourages your individuality, your education, your spirituality, and your growth.

Remember It is never asking too much from a man to be considered a priority.

Find a man who is genuinely interested in you and pursues you on a daily basis.

Find a man who asks you to go to church with him.

Find a man that never let’s you go to sleep at night wondering if you still matter.

Watch how a man treats his mother. You can learn alot from how someone treats the person that brought them into this world.

Never chase a man because of his looks because one day those looks will eventually fade and what your left with is what’s inside so don’t be consumed by his physical traits.

Find a man who protects you and stands up for you even when you’re not around.

Find a man who values you and who would never put themselves in a position to lose you.

Find a man who wakes up everyday looking for new ways to love you.

Find a man that understands it’s not about giving you the world but making you feel like you’re the only one in it.

Take my advice and remember your time is precious. Don’t waste it on someone who doesn’t realize you are too.

~ Cody Bret

I RECEIVED THIS A WHILE AGO FROM SOMEONE WHO VISITED MY MATCHMAKING WEBSITE

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

Somehow I missed this when it was posted…

BM Jun 19, 2018

I used Caliber Match’s services about 2 years ago and it was absolutely the worst experience customer service wise that I have ever had, business or personal. Emily Hellman is the owner and I can say she flat out lied to me to get me to sign a contract, but once under contract I called her out asking when things aren’t going the way she explained in my consultation meeting and she started to ignore me and only give partial answers to my questions. Basically she held me to the terms of the contract even though she didn’t follow the contract herself. My attorney told me on one hand, her lies are the only reason I signed the contract to begin with (I agree, hence why I went to him), but on the other hand, the contract is…

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LOVE IS NOT A QUICK FIX

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

I heard a story on the news yesterday about a way to fast track your love for someone.  I know we live in a society of quick fixes and immediate gratification but not all things should go that way.  This particular gimmick was pages of questions for 45 minutes and then staring at each other for FOUR minutes to create intimacy.

Is it really necessary to create intimacy on the first meeting or date?  The usual recommendation for a first meeting is not to get too serious about any subject.  It is a preliminary “date” to see if there is a reason to pursue.  That is more of a feeling than an inquisition!  Reading through this site you will see that Bon Jour Matchmaking’s philosophy is quite the opposite.

I also realize there are times when there is love at first sight that can be long lasting.  I’ve seen it…

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THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS MORE THE TORTOISE THAN THE HARE

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

As you read through this website you will realize that Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has the philosophy of the tortoise by having an open-ended contract giving every client enough time for their best match to come in.  Not setting clients up just to set them up by ignoring their specifications and does not sell packages of dates for a finite period of time.

You can be like the hare and play it as a numbers game running through people who may not be honest on the Internet dating sites, buying packages of dates for a finite period, bragging about how many people you have met.  But that approach just wears you out, in my opinion.  It also erodes your positive attitude when you meet person after person who does not fit for you or who has misrepresented themselves.

Over the 33 years of professional matchmaking in Denver my clients have…

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WHO IS MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER FIELDS?

MY FRIEND/MY BROTHER RICK BARBER (“Ricky”)

Reprinted in Westword…

I can’t think of a person who deserves this fate less than Rick Barber, former KOA Radio talk show host and my friend. Rick and I met in 2003 when his producer called me after reading my columns in The Denver Daily News on Dating and Relationships. He asked me to appear on the show which aired from 1 a.m. to 5 a.m. Although that was not really my target audience Rick’s reputation preceded him and I thought it would be good practice.

Rick and I had such a great chemistry on that first show that on the air he invited me to appear monthly, which lasted for three years. Meanwhile during that time Rick and I hung out discussing possible TV ideas, collaborating on topics for our shows and he attended several events with me that I was writing about on another weekly column in The Denver Daily News covering nonprofit fundraisers.

Our antics grew into a deep friendship talking everyday, getting together periodically and being there for each other. A few years ago I had foot surgery and Rick was one of three friends who was such a big help to me with doctor’s appointments, shopping and anything else I was unable to do at that time. Something I so appreciate and will never forget. I have been so fortunate to call Rick one of my closest friends. He knows the definition of friendship and walks the talk!Then a little over a year ago Clear Channel let Rick and many others go due to new management decisions. Rick always looked at the upside conscientiously applying for lots of other talk show positions at a variety of stations both in state and out of state. While doing that he enjoyed his favorite pastime of golf. Rick could golf 5 days a week and never tire of it! He cleverly applied for a position at a golf course so that he could play there for free and although the hours very crazy early, he thoroughly enjoyed the work and being outdoors on the course.

In around September he experienced what he thought was a pulled muscle that took him off the course for a few weeks. Rick is special in that he does not have a problem going to a doctor (like many men) if there is an issue. The muscle seemed to heal but in fairly short order he started experiencing weakness in that leg. One never jumps to the conclusion that it is something serious so he still chalked it up to a sore muscle pull.

Eventually as you may know by now it progressed leaving him weaker and weaker having to use a cane for assistance for stabilization when he walked. That went on for a few months but the strong leg started to weaken and he found in short order the need for a walker. Shockingly after only using the walker for about 3 weeks his strong leg weakened and he is now in a wheelchair.

But Rick is the bravest person I know…he faces all of this head on not shrinking away from any subject from end of life to okay what is next, okay now it’s a wheelchair, okay now it’s an assisted living facility I found for him, okay whatever comes next. He stays calm, smokes his cigarettes and the cigars I give him and just takes one thing at a time. He is seeing a doctor who fortuitously phoned me for my service and turned out to be an expert on neuroviral diseases at the University of Colorado and we are hoping she comes up with another diagnosis or prognosis than the first of ALS.

Everywhere I look in my house I think of Rick because of something he fixed, helped me with, enjoyed like my cat who loves him. Little did I know in December that would be the last time he would visit my home when we exchanged Christmas gifts. I’ve been holding a bottle of wine and a wine cooler for him for a year but now I guess I will have to take them over to EMERITUS at Highline where he is residing. The staff is wonderful and the Executive Director, Tom Hunter, was kind enough to work with me negotiating with his superior to waive the entrance fee for Rick and get him a more affordable monthly fee for a private room.

The staff is very attentive to Rick’s needs and he is safe and well taken care of there.

This is a description of my friend Rick Barber celebrating the person he is and how very brave he has been while going through this devastating illness.

I think of Ricky every day of my life and miss him…

UPDATE: Rick has been gone 12 years this year…and I still think of him every day when I look at his pictures in my home. I miss you Ricky, Love, Michie

BEST BOSTON SINGLES

Received a call from Jennifer at the above. She did what they all do…we have a client who moved to Denver and would like to have you transfer her to your service.

They know nothing about me, my clients or my service. So this is what you singles back East are paying for…to be “transferred” to companies that know nothing about you or you them. I did some research on them and they have horrible reviews, including on the BBB and Yelp. One person mentioned that she paid $10,000!

Beware of this kind of service! I have written about this many, many times on here. This is not what you are paying for. If someone moves to Denver, they should hire a Denver matchmaker. I need a full profile and pictures just like any of my other clients. Although I haven’t spoken directly to Jennifer, by her lengthy message like with the other out -of-state services who have contacted me, you’ve paid them lots of money and they “may” offer me a couple hundred to take you. That’s usually how it works.

I don’t work that way and if they had bothered to actually read this site, they would know that!

WHAT AM I PAYING FOR AT BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

CALL ME…This is NOT a “sales” call, merely an exchange of information.

When you decide to become a client of Bon Jour Matchmaking you pay a one-time investment fee.  What you are basically investing in is the invaluable time to work with me for as long as it may take to find the right person for you through the open-ended contract and coaching along the way.

There are no monthly or annual fees.  No re-sign up fees due to my open-ended contract.  Your Investment Fee pays for the following:

  • It covers all the time spent before you become a client on advice and information in your phone consultation which could be more than one call before you decide to come in;
  • A Matchmaker who knows all of her clients personally and has interviewed each and every one;
  • 37 years of matchmaking experience!
  • An extensive background check (cost is mine) which includes a Google search as well as social media searches;
  • The 2-hour interview face-to-face in my private office;
  • Viewing confidential client profiles at the time of the interview and getting to know each other;
  • Calling your selection(s) to read them your entire profile clarifying and correcting misinterpretations and then e-mailing them your photos;
  • Should that person decline, going through the same process with your next choice;
  • Giving out both contact information and instructions as to how to proceed and rereading profiles before the  meeting;
  • Receiving phone calls from both clients after their meeting with feedback;
  • Coaching either or both clients as to how to make a better impression, not jump to conclusions, etc.;
  • Also letting a client know someone is or is not interested if they were not clear at your meeting and WHY;
  • Once you are on file, presenting YOUR profile to all new clients who fit your preferences and criteria;
  • There are many times I may present your profile that it is not selected and I do not earn a fee;
  • There may be many times you decline to meet someone who has selected you and I do not earn a fee;
  • Going through the above process of sharing, calling, collecting and coaching;
  • The one-time filing fee covers however long or short you may be in the service;
  • Updating pictures and information as we move along.

MY ROLE AS A DENVER MATCHMAKER

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

Over the 33 years I’ve been matchmaking, one of my best attributes now is the ability to listen carefully. To follow my clients’ preferences and criteria and most importantly not to make decisions FOR them but rather WITH them.

Those qualities only come with years of experience in the business of professional matchmaking. Over all of these years I’ve seen clients choose people who surprised me and rejected people I thought they would like. So I’ve learned not to make matching decisions for them and to present people who I’m not sure they would be interested in. I don’t know everything and sometimes the clients don’t know themselves who may interest them ultimately.

I warn my clients be careful what you tell me in your criteria and preferences because I follow them closely. I will check to see if you have any flexibility and often most of my clients do…

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HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL I MEET IN THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

When you call for your FREE phone consultation you may ask how many people you will meet.  First of all that is primarily up to you.  When I show you profiles at the time of your interview if you do not select anyone that is your prerogative.  If once you are on file as a client you turn down every one who wants to meet you then, again, that is up to you.

I have no way of knowing how many people you will meet and my goal is not to set you up with everyone in town.  This is matchmaking.  The phone consultation does not go into the detailed depth that the interview does so by the time I know your background and all of your criteria and preferences at the interview the number of prospective matches obviously will go down.  This is matchmaking, the information has to…

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