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ADVICE FROM A DENVER MATCHMAKER

Here is some good advice to keep in mind when someone is interested in you that you are not interested in. Whether it be dating apps, internet dating sites, Denver matchmaking services or Denver matchmakers this advice is useful.

Be honest, kind and direct. Be a grown up. Do not play with someone when they are trying to date you and you are not interested. Tell them you are not interested in that way although you are flattered. There just is not a romantic chemistry.

That happened to me a fair number of times during my dating experiences and in several of the cases they didn’t want to take no for an answer. Sadly, if that’s the case things can become uncomfortable and contentious. But if they do then you’ve made the right decision. That person needs to respect your feelings when you are being honest with them. It’s the right thing to do.

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What sets you apart from other Denver matchmaking services?

From Shoutout Colorado Magazine:

When people call to discuss and consider using Bon Jour after reading through my website, the three things they say that resonated with them were that I am authentic, informative and direct. There is no fluff, no packages with various pricing, there is a one-time investment fee that is good for whatever length of time it takes the person to achieve their goal. It is the same for each client and is based on what I feel I can do for that client. For example, if a person has some challenges, things that may not be as popular with as many people i.e., location, number of marriages, height, age, pets, children, etc. that may lower someone’s fee which is the total opposite of what people generally think would happen. Fairness in pricing, the amount of information shared with each and every client, the hands-on coaching and sharing of peoples’ feedback about one another are elements of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service that have made me so successful over 32 years.

People ask how successful I am…this is a partnership, a collaboration between Matchmaker and client. We share in the success of each match. I do everything I can do to make it succeed, but ultimately it is up to each partner to put forth the effort for a long term relationship. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink…I can counsel, share and suggest but I can’t “make” people follow those suggestions. The ones who have were able to reach their ultimate goal!

Is there something that you feel is most responsible for your success as a Denver matchmaker?

From Shoutout Colorado Magazine:

I have stayed true to the structure of Bon Jour Matchmaking, Colorado’s oldest matchmaking service, for 32 years regardless of the internet, apps and local competition. I have limited overhead, I do not advertise and never have, I personally, face-to-face interview each and every client. I have current photos of each client along with a 6 page profile that is shared only with individuals who match 5 or 6 criteria each person has stated they desire. I regularly decline to work with singles who call who do not fit the general criteria of all of my clients. My goal is not to accumulate income but rather to find people who are a good match for my clients thus achieving their goal. I give every client an open ended contract as there is no way to know when the perfect match will appear. I wouldn’t want their contract to expire and then some time after that the perfect person comes in for them but too bad, their contract had expired. My clients’ contracts never expire thus giving them the gift of time!

The amount of coaching involved to make sure each new match has every chance of succeeding is ultimately the most valuable piece of this service. There are so many little misunderstandings, misinterpretations and lack of communications that go on it is important for me to clarify, counsel and share information so that this most delicate interaction may succeed.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DENVER MATCHMAKING & DATING SERVICES

A matchmaker has met with (in-person) and interviewed ALL of her/his clients. She/he has an extensive profile on each client for prospects to view, along with several current pictures. In a matchmaking service the client and matchmaker work together collaboratively to select the most appropriate match. Both clients should be able to talk prior to their initial meeting and set up their own time and place. Communication starts right there. A true matchmaker ONLY matches clients with the most appropriate people who fit, on both sides, the criteria and preferences each has set forth. A professional matchmaker requires feedback and shares and coaches each client to help every match have the best chance of success.

A dating service for the most part sells you a package of dates. They have several different plans and fees. They have finite contracts. In dating services that have several “matchmakers” no one knows ALL of the clients. Each one knows the ones they’ve sold. THEY decide who you meet. When they set you up THEY decide when and where you meet. You cannot speak with the match prior to the meeting. You are not shown a profile or pictures. They MAY read you a sentence or two about the person but that’s all. In reading their reviews, clients state that they repeatedly tell the “matchmaker” that person did not fit their criteria, they were allergic to the food where the date was set up, the person lives out of the radius they specified and the service does not listen. A dating service’s goal is to sign you, set you up according to the number of DATES you’ve purchased and sign you again. THAT is their goal.

So when shopping around Denver, first decide which you are interested in….a matchmaking service or dating service. Otherwise you will have wasted your investment and your time and be disappointed in the outcome.

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CALL FOR YOUR FREE PHONE CONSULTATION ASAP

Once you’ve read through this site you should call to discuss any questions you’ve formulated. My schedule is getting full both for the phone consultations and for interviews, so while this is fresh in your mind let’s talk…Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is a full-service Denver matchmaking venue. Michele Fields works with each and every client personally. There are no secondary “matchmakers”…only the REAL ONE!