IT USED TO BE ONLY MEN, BUT NOW IT’S WOMEN TOO

First of all, remember I’ve been matchmaking for 34 years so I have a lot of history to draw from. When I share info about singles who call me and either become clients or not, I am referring strictly to MY clientele NOT the whole world.

Over these many years I have gotten calls from men 55+ who are dead set on only meeting women 35-45. Of course, it varies depending on the person but usually 15-20 years younger or more. I choose not to work with those men in that my clients in that age range are only interested in age-appropriate men. Not a judgment call on my part merely the facts about my female clients. That scenario has been going on for years.

BUT in the past about 3 years I have been getting calls from women 55+ who say they’ve been dating men 10 and 15 years younger since they look so youthful themselves and are so energetic. Well, the same goes for them. My men who are that much younger are not interested in women 10-15 years older. So I decline to work with them as well.

This is a fairly new phenomenon recently with the women. I don’t know when there was that switch, but I can’t help women in that mindset any more than I can help men. My feeling is the reason they are coming to me (both sexes) is that dating people so much younger obviously isn’t working out…so why would you come in here and do the same thing that isn’t working?

I always assess how much I can help a prospective client. In those cases, knowing all of my clients and their preferences I have to decline. Unfortunately, I decline more people who call than I accept mostly based on my clients’ preferences and criteria. On occasion it’s because someone is hung up on numbers and this is not a dating service, it is a matchmaking service. My clients understand that finding the right person and not wasting time with lots of dates is my goal for them. In the over 300 marriages since 1989, all couples married either the first or second person they were introduced to. Not always both people but at least one, and in some cases both.

EVEN I LET ONE SLIP THROUGH EVERY SO OFTEN…BUT THANK GOODNESS NOT EVEN 1 PER YEAR

The FREE phone consultation is for both of us to determine whether this is the right service to achieve what your goal is as well as to assess whether we can work amicably together to that end.

I am REALLY good at assessing whether I can work with someone, their maturity and their stability. But, thank goodness only once in a great while someone slips through who I find is impossible to work with. In this case I can see looking back that if I had declined to work with her she would still have written an equally nasty review…no way to win for me.

Clients have many options to post reviews of companies but companies have no options to review poor clients. So I use my website on occasion to vent/review the very few clients who have been particularly egregious. I usually don’t share their name but in this case (which you will see below) I felt it appropriate.

In the 34 years I’ve been in business (and if this happened often that would not be the case) and worked with hundreds of singles this is the first time I’ve come across such a client. Because this client didn’t like my criticism of a review she posted (I often have to correct inaccurate info my clients put in reviews that give the reader an incorrect impression of something in Bon Jour and they very kindly make the correction) she has lost her mind. She posted the most immature, nasty, vicious review. Much of the review is either inaccurate or a blatant lie. It primarily shows the type of person SHE is and her immaturity level. Additionally, I keep seeing that she uses two last names but has never been married. Sometimes she uses two names. She signed her contracts with one and signs her emails with the other and has profiles under the second name. I did a background check on that name and nothing came up! So, I have no idea which is legal. When she called there was a guy’s name on the caller ID. I guess some guy is paying for her phone? First, she pretended she didn’t know what I was talking about, then said it was her roommate. Again, who knows…

She had called me 2 years ago and we had a great conversation. So good that she wrote a lengthy, well written 5 star review of Bon Jour Matchmaking before becoming a client. I didn’t hear back from her until 2 years later, and had a good impression from that conversation so when certain red flags came up when she came in to interview, although I was stopped in my tracks, I remembered the call and thought I can deal with this. She fit what the clients’ set forth they are looking for and I hate to be overly judgmental…so I accepted her.

Some of the red flags were: she was sitting on her feet during the interview like a child would; when I handed her a profile to review she would sing i.e., Bob bob bo bob, banana banna bo bob, fe fi fo bob…Bob with every profile I shared (using their name of course)! She also kept saying what a partier she is and the guy had to also be a partier. She handed me 9 separate $35 introduction fee checks saying I should go through them by the middle of September. I make it VERY clear, this is NOT a dating service which it clearly states all over this website. You will not meet someone every week or month. This was clear and I reiterated it, but she said to keep them anyway. Didn’t make sense, no one has ever done that in 34 years! Although she did not attend college, but a wellness education program she stated she is going for her PhD. You can’t get a PhD without a traditional undergrad degree, so that didn’t make sense! She never mentioned any other type of education. She repeatedly said when asked about having children that she would have to meet someone who can afford a nanny. Her general personality and demeanor came off very immature…but again I thought, ok, she fits with the clientele, I have clients both that she would want to meet and who would want to meet her.

Based on the 6 page profiles and pictures she selected 5 men she wanted to meet. She met 4 and none of them were “up to par” for her. She shared with one of them that her ex-boyfriend gave her the money for her business and bought her a house…so I spent an inordinate amount of time talking with her both before and after her meetings trying to hone in on what would please her and fulfil her goal as well as what is unwise to share. In that she wasn’t keen on their looks, even though she said they looked like their pictures and SHE chose them, I asked for pictures of men she finds appealing. She sent them with each one having facial hair and then added she hates facial hair. None of the men I set her up with had facial hair BTW.

In that original review she said she would update it when she became a client. So I reminded her of that. Weeks later she finally wrote something…although I appreciate the gesture it was clear to anyone it did not come from the heart nor talk about her experience as a client. I strongly felt the need to point that out and she absolutely lashed out like the child I saw during her interview!

Woke up to this email from her: “Unless it is to set up a date or tell me about a match, please do not contact me. Do your job, nothing more or less.” I responded letting her know, which is my job, that the next two guys (both doctors) she selected are not currently available and this was her response: “Who cares lol you don’t have the caliber of people I am interested in.” What do you think???? Forgetting that whenever someone views her profile they ask me what I think…I cannot tell them what I really think as that is MY experience with her and may not be theirs. If they meet her and it doesn’t click, then I can share my impressions.

The caliber of people she met: an aerospace engineer, a senior product analyst for a telecommunications co., and a finance management specialist with his own company! All in shape, all well educated, all genuinely looking for love…and SHE picked them!

Again, this type of thing is very rare, but you can draw your own conclusions from this post…

WHY CLIENTS SAY THEY CHOSE BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

The informative website, the approach, the contracts and the matchmaking process. Emily K., Age 41

The one-on-one approach, the 1 time investment fee, the open-ended contract and the detail of personalization. Brandon F., Age 49

The personal attention, length of time in business and the kind of people I’m looking to meet. Andrew M., Age 42

After viewing many other “matchmaking” websites in Denver, the only one I called was Bon Jour. It was the most informative, personal and authentic service. S.H., Age 44

Michele is the only real matchmaker I found. Jon L., Age 39

Bon Jour is the only service that connects people who really want a relationship. Sloan D., Age 30

I had confidence in the level of detail on the website. Michele Fields is no nonsense and direct and she has a serious and sincere clientele. Matt E., Age 47

Open ended contract, fair investment, lots of information. Justin B., Age 38

After speaking with Michele I felt confident that she was skilled at her profession. Dr. D

She seemed more sincere. Not a money mill! Brad K., Age 56

The personal attention. With It’s Just Lunch I felt as if they didn’t even look at my profile. Daren, Esq., Age 42

The reviews and Michele’s interaction with the clients. Patrick A., Age 43

I think Michele works hard to find someone who is a good fit. Dave A., Age 56

I was impressed with the length of time that Michele has spent in business in the Denver area-it’s clear that this is her calling. I also thought that the open-ended contract was unique and shows that she’s really committed to finding the right match for people, not just limiting your matches to who is immediately available. Taylor H., Age 38

I was impressed by Michele’s personalized and localized approach. I appreciate that she meets with each and every one of her clients. Kate D., Phd, Age 33

I want to find someone to share my life with and appreciate the hands on, personal approach. Julie C.

Because it feels very personalized and isn’t a sales pitch to take your money. Nicole B., Age 48

OMG LOOK WHAT DENVER MATCHMAKERS ARE CHARGING!

This information was taken directly from the VIDA website in 2020 (Those fees have probably increased since this posting) and current fees from Kris Kenny’s website 2022:

THE DENVER DATING COMPANY:

https://kdvr.com/news/local/denver-singles-site-had-barely-any-women-on-it-lawsuit-claims/

Just received a call from a woman who went in to do a consultation with them. She expressed that they were disorganized and lied about a number of things such as length of time in business stating they’ve been in business 22 years. So I went on the BBB site and they have an F rating and have only been in business ONE YEAR! Also on the BBB they listed the owner as Mrs. Owner so they won’t disclose who owns and operates that service. I’m surprised the BBB accepted that! DO NOT GIVE THIS COMPANY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER (OR ANY COMPANY). THEY DO NOT NEED IT TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK!!!

March, 2023: A man called me and told me he was quoted $8500 for a 6-month contract with this company! He’s joining my service this week…enough said.

CINQE Matchmaking:

Charges a range of $55,000 to $150,000 for a limited contract. Multiple matchmakers in various cities. I believe they are based in California.

KRIS KENNY CONNECTIONS:

Around $4,600 for 6 months, $8,200 for 12 months, and a “VIP” membership starts at $9,000 for 3 months and $16,000 for 6 months. 

KELLEHER INTERNATIONAL:

Starts around $25,000 and can go higher than $150,000. Cost depends on the number of cities you’d like matchmakers to include in the search, as well as a few other factors. No matter which membership package you choose, you’ll get 13 months worth of search time, and a full year’s worth of pause time.

LUMA:

UPDATE: I’ve been told by 2 new clients of mine that Luma’s fees start at $15,000 for a 6-month contract as of 2024. So, the info below seems to be outdated.

Having a matchmaker scout for highly compatible singles requires a premium membership, which starts around $5,000. Membership prices can top out north of $50,000, depending on the level of service you’d like. From GOOGLE: The total matchmaking cost depends on the customized plan and how specific you want the search to be. Membership fees typically range from $10,000 to $100,000. You can learn more about our professional matchmaking costs by meeting with a LUMA matchmaker.

CALIBER MATCH:

Being listed in the pool of Denver singles is free, but it’s a passive membership – you’ll only be matched when you fit someone else’s criteria. If you want a matchmaker to look for your ideal partner, you’ll need to pay for a Premier membership.

Paid memberships start around $8,500 for 6 months, and $15,000 for 12 months of matchmaking services.

VIDA SELECT:

Clients pay for matchmaking services by the month, rather than committing to a long-term contract. Monthly packages run between $495 and $1,695.

Compiled from VIDA Select.

BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE: NOT LISTED ON VIDA

ONE-TIME investment fee range of $5000-$5700 with an open-ended contract for all clients. Per introduction fee of $35 on both sides of the introduction. What am I paying for at Bon Jour? 35 years of Denver matchmaking success with more than 300 marriages!

NOT LISTED ON VIDA: THE SOCIAL: MODERN MATCHMAKING:

There’s a new service in town who runs the same way as all the other services. No profiles, no pictures, no experience and a very young and new owner charging starting at $5,000 to $12,000 per contract according to a recent new client of mine! $2500 per just a 6 month contract! This is also another local service getting YOUR matches from other matchmakers without photos, profiles or personal interviews or your knowledge due to a lack of clientele. How does the dating part work? In a review of this service someone wrote: she sends a text to both of us saying meet at this location at this time. We don’t get pictures before the date or any information.

Apparently, there is a company you can hire to delete your negative reviews that Abby shared with me. I, clearly, haven’t used them. But she does use them…

In addition, my new client shared that the guy working for this owner hit on her during what was supposed to be her zoom interview. She met him for lunch and now he’s constantly texting and calling her to go out again. As well as being inappropriate, it totally turned her off of the whole company.

TAWKIFY: A gentleman called me yesterday and said he paid $9,000 for one year. (5/2/23)

BON JOUR IS ALL IN UNTIL YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL

As far as I know Bon Jour Matchmaking is, and has been, the only Denver matchmaking service that has offered for 30+ years an open-ended contract FREE OF CHARGE to EVERY client.

What is the value of an open-ended contract? There is no way to know when the “right” person for you will come in so to have a limited contract that a company continues to try to resign you to make fees is worthless. Let’s say you have a 6 month contract with another service and the “perfect” person for you comes in in month 7…too bad for you!

In addition I do not waste your time setting you up with people who do not fit the criteria you’ve set forth. I adhere very closely to that (so be careful what you stipulate) unlike the other Denver matchmakers (read their reviews, they are consistent how they’ve been set up with people who don’t remotely fit what they’ve stipulated).

You already know that to find the right person has taken time or you wouldn’t be reading this. It may or may not take time in here as well. My goal is to find that person on the first or second match…but that may take time…or not. Just be realistic…I’m a Matchmaker NOT a magician.

The longest I’ve worked with a client was 11 years…and I did get her married in that 11th year. The man she married only met his first choice, her, right after he came in and married her a year later! There was some coaching involved to help this relationship progress. I’ll hang in there as long as you will…

There are MANY different and exceptional aspects to Bon Jour but the open-ended contract is at the top of the list.

THE VALUE OF BON JOUR IS NOT JUST YOUR GOAL

There are so many valuable aspects to Bon Jour Matchmaking before and during your courtship with that special person.

They are listed throughout this site and if you’ve used other local services or even researched them these differences are glaringly obvious.

When considering any service it is a 50/50 proposition. As a client you should be realistic in that your participation, keeping info up-to-date, your feedback, your interaction with clients and YOUR choice in Bon Jour as to who you meet (and don’t meet) is heavily on your side of the equation. It’s NOT just about writing a check and then being a non-participant.

In Bon Jour you first and foremost have an open-ended contract. So far the longest I’ve worked with someone is 11 years and she did end up marrying a client at the end of that time. If it had taken longer for the right person to appear then we would have gone longer. Conversely, the guy she married through Bon Jour ONLY met her. So he married the first and only person he met!

The abundance of information you receive on each prospect and the fact that YOU decide your interest level in meeting someone. The immense amount of coaching, the feedback directly from the source, the fact that I respond IMMEDIATELY or ASAP to calls and emails from clients and always have.

Just like with friends, colleagues, dating and even family our relationship may go through some growth spirts and ups and downs. Practicing professional hands-on, old fashioned matchmaking for 34+ years I’ve run into all kinds of individuals. Obviously, most of those relationships and interactions have gone well or I wouldn’t still be here. But there certainly have been people that were unhappy, difficult, unrealistic or we just eventually didn’t click. You get the straight scoop in here which is what my clients want, tempered with tact (hopefully). So, when reading reviews keep all of this in mind and consider all that you get from this service that you do not get anywhere else.

REVIEW BY “LIFE COACH” STEPHANIE LINDQUIST

Having been in business with Bon Jour Matchmaking Service for 30 years I realize and so should you that I have and will run across people who don’t get it, have their own agenda playing and are just not reasonable, mature or nice people. Unfortunately in this line of career I run across more of those than normal.

People who misunderstand, misinterpret and are just out to bash others trying to do the right thing. The Internet gives them ample opportunity to voice their own biased experience and opinion all over the place. That is certainly the case with Stephanie Lindquist. Imagine someone expecting a business owner to be available every minute of the hours they offer when there is a myriad of responsibilities that owner takes care of. That is exactly WHY I have the vast amount of hours that I have!

I never even spoke with Stephanie Lindquist and she has nothing better to do than write nasty reviews when she didn’t have time to call for the FREE telephone consultation but clearly has the time to write nasty reviews and place them all over the Internet! Again, I made the right call in very short order after an email interaction with her that I did not want to even talk with her or represent her. So she is totally lying when she says SHE decided not to use the service.  I don’t want to embarrass her by sharing HER email response when I merely said I couldn’t conduct the phone consultation when she asked for it. It clearly says on here there is no need to schedule that consultation, just call. So she isn’t great at following directions either which would make her a less than desirable client.

I really felt the need to clarify and remind you the consumer that the best way to judge a business is to go by the majority of reviews that say the same thing. That’s what I do when judging whether to use a business.

INFO FOR YOU TO KNOW…WHY BON JOUR IS SO GREAT!

The actual reason for this post is that there seems to be some confusion from time to time and I want to clarify.  Some clients and future clients have thought they can only meet or date one person at a time.  NOT TRUE. That is TOTALLY up to each individual client.  If you are comfortable meeting and/or dating more than one person that is absolutely YOUR prerogative.

Additionally I want to clarify also because of confusion based on experience in other Denver matchmaking services…this is nothing like other services and that is why you are still searching for assistance.  There is no such thing as “HOLD” in Bon Jour.  Regardless of what your situation is at a point in time I still share your profile with new clients if and when appropriate.  If they select to meet you I would then email you asking your current status.  People’s status is very fluid so checking periodically is more than appropriate.  Also, I can’t possibly remember over months or years that you are involved with someone which new clients did and didn’t view your profile when they came in so I just continue to show it and check with you.

Just more info showing yet more differences between Bon Jour Matchmaking and other Denver matchmakers and Denver dating services.

I’D RATHER DECLINE THAN DISAPPOINT Your Denver Matchmaking Desires

As I’ve written many times on this website, I turn down more potential clients (and income) than I accept.  If I sense that this really is not what you are looking for in a service or potential relationship (doesn’t line up with my clientele) I would rather decline to work together than sign you and disappoint you.

That’s why the initial FREE PHONE CONSULTATION is sooooo important and that you be honest and candid, not only about what type of relationship you desire but also about your personal information.  I recently had two people lie to me about their age and I don’t work with people who lie.  If you want to lie use Internet Dating Sites or Dating Apps!  How do I know they lied?  I do a background check before you become a client both for my safety and for my clients as well as to make sure the information you have presented is true and honest.

If you do not fit what my clientele is looking for as stipulated in their 6 page profiles I cannot accept you and take your money if there is minimal or no chance of success.  Also, if my clientele does not fit what you are looking for I will decline.  Because I interview EVERY client I know their criteria and use the general specifications from all clients to determine whether someone new is what they are looking for.

I had a new client scheduled for last week and a couple of days before he called and was freaked out.  He kept saying he’s a “data guy” and how many, how many, how many?  He shared that he’d met 100 women in a 2 year period.  So OBVIOUSLY this is NOT a numbers game!  If that is you, this is NOT the service for you.  This Denver matchmaking service aims to MATCH clients on both sides so that a relationship grows and lasts.  That may take time for the right person to come in, that’s why the open-ended contract.  If you want immediate gratification or you are a “data person” this is not the service for you.

If you are combative with me and argumentative, obviously we would not make good partners.  That is a bad way to start and I would decline.  Yes, that actually happens from time to time.  We have to be a good match first to accomplish your goals.

YOU ASK, WHAT IS MY SUCCESS RATE?

Very often when people contact me at Bon Jour Matchmaking one of the questions they ask is what is my success rate.

My success rate has everything to do with you as a client.  If you turn down everyone who would like to meet you, don’t select people to meet who are the best prospects (which I tell you), continue to make the same mistakes I have pointed out to you through my coaching, well your success rate will not be as good as a client who is more open minded with prospective matches or listens to my coaching and implements it.

We are a collaborative partnership.  It’s not just MY success rate in this Denver matchmaking service.  You as a client have everything to do with your success.  I have several clients who have superficial requirements that must be met or they are not interested.  I.e., one woman will not consider men who are conservative regardless of how good a fit they are in other ways.  Doesn’t even want to see their profiles.

Another is an avid skier and directly told me not to show anyone her profile who is not an avid skier as all of her vacations are ski vacations.  A male client is only interested in women who emulate Cameron Diaz.  If she is “exotic” like Angelina Jolie he’s not interested.  Well….I follow strictly what I’m told, unlike the other local Denver matchmaking or Denver dating services.  That’s the good news, but if you are so restrictive as these clients it may take forever to make that match.

So, in short, my success is based on the client completely.