WHY DOES BON JOUR TURN DOWN CLIENTS?

Our first interaction on the telephone or if you send me an email starts our journey to discover whether Bon Jour Matchmaking is the right Denver matchmaker for you and you are the right client for the service…whether, as your very personal matchmaker, I feel I can reasonably meet your expectations or I fear you may be disappointed.  It is most important to me that I have a reasonable expectation of achieving your goal.

Anyone who calls looking for a guarantee, shows major skepticism, puts all of the responsibility on my abilities as a matchmaker or shows a lack of understanding as to the structure of Bon Jour automatically throws up flags for me.  Do the Internet dating sites give you a guarantee?  Does the stock market give you a guarantee?  For that matter does the person you marry give you a guarantee?  Some things are done on faith and hope and realistic expectations.  This is one of them.

After professionally matchmaking for 36 years my clientele is set.  The criteria and preferences of my clients determine my future clientele.  I go strictly according to those, not my own, which is as it should be.  If you are outside of those than it is unlikely I will be able to match you successfully and will decline to work together.

If I sense you are very skeptical but willing to go forward anyway, I will suggest we don’t.  That already puts up a barrier between us and does not let our relationship flow naturally nor the process flow naturally.

I have full confidence in my own ability as a professional Denver matchmaker after practicing this career for 36 years with a success rate of 70%.  But is it really all about my abilities?  If you are a very picky, inflexible client and no one seems to suit you so you decline everyone I show you or who selects to meet you, then you won’t meet anyone.  If people decline to meet you I can exemplify your outstanding virtues and nudge them but no client is forced to meet another client.  If I introduce you to a wonderful person and you ruin the potential relationship, I can advise and counsel but ultimately the success of your relationship is up to you and that person.

If I find you difficult in our phone consultation, inflexible, unrealistic, narrow and/or demanding it is likely I will fear that a relationship with you may be more trouble than it is worth.  You may seem impossible to please in which case I will decline to work together.

So that’s the story…this is such a personal endeavor we have to have a good rapport, understand each other’s expectations and agree on my philosophy.  That’s what makes a good and successful partnership.

I’M A DENVER MATCHMAKER WITH HEART AND EMPATHY

As I tell my clients, I do all that I can to stack the deck in your favor as a client.  Meaning being selective of who I present to you based on both your preferences and background as well as theirs.  Selecting photos that while they present you in your best light DO look like you unlike Internet dating sites.  Suggest certain behaviors for early on in the relationship as it is so delicate sometimes the slightest slight may knock it off track.  Correcting misconceptions and interpretations to give this budding match time and space to grow.

But I am a Matchmaker not a magician.  I do all that I can to assist you but ultimately it is up to each individual as to their success.  I make the environment the most positive and clear that I can.  What is unwise on a client’s part is to have higher standards within a service than if you met someone outside of a service.  I see it all the time.  Your best chances of success are to be realistic, open-minded and patient.  Those who have been have reached their goal within Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.

Having an open-ended contract is invaluable as I can never promise a new client that the “perfect” person is sitting here waiting for them….there are times they have been but I have no way of knowing that.  We just do the best that we can together.

MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER ANSWERS THE QUESTION, “IS DATING REALLY A NUMBERS GAME?”

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

All one needs to do is watch the Bachelor or Bachelorette to see that dating is NOT a numbers game.  In fact, if you are serious about finding love, dating is not a “game” at all.  To “play” with dating is to lose in your ultimate goal and burn yourself out in the process!

Those TV shows always start with 25 singles for the Bachelor(ette) to choose from and they slowly eliminate who doesn’t fit.  But although these shows have been televised for at least 10 seasons and there have been literally tons of both single men and single women to pick from, only about 4 of the couples have actually married and lasted.  (Actually I’m not sure it’s even 4).  So clearly it is NOT a numbers game.  You can choose to play it that way and like the Bachelor(ette) you will lose, unless fate intervenes and you get lucky.

My philosophy…

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PLEASE UNDERSTAND BON JOUR MATCHMAKING BEFORE JOINING

I am oh so careful about who I work with on behalf of my clients so as to save them time, aggravation and frustration. For the most part the majority of the people I accept seem to understand that and if they don’t I prefer they work with a service best suited to their goals and philosophy. But every once in a while, although I’ve been extremely clear as is my website, someone desperately wants to work with me and proclaims they get it just to find out within a couple of months they don’t.

Fortunately for the over 300 couples who have married through Bon Jour they had the patience and understanding to go through the process and it paid off!  I have no way of knowing how long the process will take for you personally because YOU have a lot to do with that.  It could happen right away, as it has for many people, but If you have unrealistic expectations and turn down everyone who is interested than it will take you longer.

In a nutshell, if you are looking for immediate gratification and/or meeting lots of singles this may not the service for you.  Bon Jour Matchmaking is an old fashioned, genuine matchmaking service.  I vet all clients and qualify them before wasting your time just throwing people at you to meet a contract.  If you have the patience and are realistic this may be the right service for you.  Most couples who have married through Bon Jour married either the first or second person they met…regardless of how long it took to find the right match!

I’M SO GOOD AT FINDING THE RIGHT CLIENTS FOR THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE!

As I’ve explained to many Denver singles who have called me for my service, I turn down more people than I accept.  There are many reasons why I turn people down…but certainly if I decline I have saved you expense and wasted time so the appropriate response should be THANK YOU MICHELE FOR BEING SO HONEST AND NOT TAKING MY MONEY.  Most people say it’s refreshing to encounter someone with ethics!

For example, Leslie, a Denver realtor called for help with finding a mate.  Rather than ask lots of questions about the service and the philosophy she talked about her free trips abroad, how fantastic she is, she is so much more athletic than anyone her own age, etc., etc.  As well as expressing that she thought my website could be improved.   OK, fine, at the end of an hour conversation she proclaimed how great her life is and she doesn’t really think she wants to get seriously involved with someone.  OK, not sure why she called.  After thinking it over I decided she is not the type of person I would like to represent.  I didn’t feel we could work well together so I explained that in response to an email from her and declined but wished her luck.  Rather than thank me for my honesty and saving her the investment fee she phoned Tom Martino.  She had called me in response to my appearance on his show last week.

So, what is this world coming to?  They call the consumer advocate to complain when someone does not respond or takes their money and does nothing.  This one called Tom Martino to complain about the opposite!  Really????  Sometimes you can’t win.

Whenever a business person is honest and SAVES you money for God sake thank them!

THE CLIENTS OF BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Without exception clients of Bon Jour Matchmaking have several common personality traits and goals.

All of them are serious about finding their last relationship…whether it be through marriage or LTCR (long term committed relationship).  As their Denver matchmaker I put them through the “ringer” with an extensive questionnaire and Behavioral Agreement where they agree to specific terms which I have found over 27 years create the optimum success in a match.

They walk the talk and are reliable, reasonable, patient and realistic.  Unlike Internet dating sites where singles (hopefully because some are married) join because they are bored, have a totally different yet superficial agenda or are felons, my Denver singles are goal oriented and serious about a forever relationship.

Their pictures are current and look like them and in many cases they are more attractive than their photos as many people do not photograph well.  So bonus!  What you see is what you get or better.

So if you do not fit the description above Bon Jour Matchmaking is probably not the right service for you…but if you do than peruse this site and let’s talk!

 

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM A DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

When I started Bon Jour Matchmaking in 1989 my goal was to keep the investment/filing fee as low as possible by limiting overhead, knowing each and every client because how else can you match if you don’t know both sides of the equation?  Have a very comprehensive questionnaire, which has evolved over time based on interests and concerns clients have shared and is now 6 pages which every client either views or hears in full when contemplating a match.  I thought it very important to have current photos, at minimum 6 showing various moods and styles.

I have two contracts that every client signs both explaining my responsibilities and the client’s responsibilities.  The Behavioral Agreement lays out the timing for initial phone calls, returning my contact and meetings.  There is a momentum to this, and I try very hard to keep that momentum going to achieve optimum results!

Hearing and sharing both side’s feedback is extremely important so that clients may adjust perceptions and behavior assisting in the success of every match.

Bon Jour Matchmaking is the Denver matchmaking service with the most hands-on success for 35 years for singles in the Front Range of Colorado!

WHY THIS MATCHMAKER’S COACHING IS SO IMPORTANT

There are several aspects of Bon Jour Matchmaking that make it unique from other Denver matchmaking services.  The open-ended contract, the one-time personalized investment fee, the amount of information supplied about each and every client and last but NOT least the coaching.

Here is an example of how Michele the Matchmaker’s coaching can make or break a new relationship:

I matched two clients who had an immediate attraction and interest in each other.  Information that was not on his profile that I shared with this woman is that he is a one woman man most comfortable in a marriage.  He’s NOT a player.  She confided that she was not feeling secure (this was very early on) and that she was going to start being less accessible.  I cautioned her not to play games as this guy is not a serial dater and would not understand and it might cause him to back off.  I shared with her how very interested he was/is in her so she agreed not to play games.

They have been dating for a few months including New Year’s Eve and day, met each others children and seemed solid.  He called me the other night explaining that the last time they were suppose to get together she texted him while he was on his way to her house to pick her up for dinner and said she didn’t want to go out.  Of course that threw him and confused him.  He said she called the next day saying that other guys she has dated have acted the way he is recently and they were dating someone else.  So she backed off and started playing games.  Had she called ME first I would have re-established what I told her originally and that would probably not have happened.

It put them off track briefly but now I fear he’s cautious about her behavior.  Don’t discount how important a third person, being ME, who knows both sides of the relationship can help make or break it early on.  My goal is to keep you on track until you are flowing naturally yourselves.

 

 

IN 2024 BE BRAVE AND FIND LOVE

We start another new year and people resolve to work out, lose weight, stop smoking, change jobs perhaps, etc.  So don’t you think that finding love should be at the top of that list?

Be brave…read through this website and call me for your FREE PHONE CONSULTATION.  It is merely an exchange of information, NOT a sales call.  No pressure!  What do you have to lose?

Starting my 35th year as a professional Denver matchmaker even I marvel at how successful my structure and approach have been.  But it doesn’t work for everyone just like diets, stocks and other pursuits.  If you read through this site and listen to my suggestions and coaching, keep an open mind and heart it may be successful for you.

It is merely a one-time filing fee which is good for the duration of the time you are in the service.  Every client receives an open-ended contract so you are a client until you fulfill your goal.  So best of luck and love for 2024!  Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields

NOT IN BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Well my first call of the new year was from a man who claims to be 52 (looks considerably older by his photos), a multimillionaire and wants to meet women 25-40 and have children and does not want to deal with women in  menopause.  So when you call me and tell me your preferences and criteria my answer is always in the context of my service because that is what you are asking about.  If this sounds like you (even if you look younger and are a “multimillionaire”) it’s not going to happen in Bon Jour.  My women are very educated and make great incomes so wealth does not impress them at all.

How do I know?  I interview every client and know how flexible they are.  What they will agree to and what they won’t…unlike other services where there are several Denver matchmakers and not one who knows all of the clients.

I’m not saying that will never happen in the “world”, just not in my world.  Rather than take your money I opt to be honest!  If that makes you angry we are not a match!