YOUR UNSPOKEN PERK AS A BON JOUR MATCHMAKING CLIENT

Something that my clients often thank me for which is not necessarily something I write a lot about is the quality of clients in Bon Jour.

I so often have to decline working with people who I perceive from our conversation and/or interaction are not invested enough, communicative and/or reliable.  Because many of my clients have used Internet dating sites and/or local Denver matchmaking services, MeetUps, lunch services or dinner gatherings and found people not to follow through or seem invested in finding a life long relationship, they truly appreciate my discretion in which singles really fit their goal.

I’m always grateful and somewhat surprised when a client thanks me for turning someone down.  This is what they expect of me…to filter only the most appropriate candidates for them to meet.

As I have said in previous posts, I start evaluating from our first interaction (whether it be phone or email) a person’s realism, reliability, communication and has a good understanding of the philosophy of Bon Jour Matchmaking.  There is a momentum in dating and in any relationship, whether business or personal, and if that momentum is broken it puts the whole relationship at risk.  As your Denver matchmaker I do all that I can to make sure things go smoothly and correct any misconceptions or miscommunications.

WHY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICES DON’T WORK FOR EVERYONE

Over my 28 (as of 1/1/17) year career I’ve seen it all.  What I have seen that I didn’t anticipate is that although I can introduce people to great clients with lots of potential, they themselves can derail what could have been a successful lifetime match.

Believe it or not I’ve found this mostly with women.  Single women tend to fill up their lives with a variety of activities, as well they should, however if you hire a Denver matchmaker one would presume you are serious about finding love and do everything you can to create an environment for this to flourish.

I have found in a handful of cases that these particular female clients refuse to make room in their lives or curtail some of these activities to cultivate a relationship.  Thus my men become frustrated and disappointed and move on.  Although I have given feedback to these women they refuse to make any changes.  Thus they have been unsuccessful.  That is totally their own responsibility.  I can introduce a client to wonderful people but if they don’t put forth the effort they will not succeed.

It’s the same with any client who does not listen to the feedback but expects a relationship to work without any flexibility on their part or any concessions.

On the other hand, the people who listen to my suggestions, pay attention to the feedback and make a genuine effort are the clients who do find success!

DENVER MATCHMAKERS CHARGING THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR LIMITED CONTRACTS

I received a call from a gentleman the other week who explained that he had just spoken with a Denver dating coach/”matchmaker” who quoted him the following fees:

For a 6 month contract $7500

If he should marry someone she introduces him to she receives a $25,000 bonus

This is a person who has only been in this business a couple of years.  There is absolutely no reason to pay fees like that.  They are out of line in general and definitely out of line for Denver singles.  Just because you pay enormous fees doesn’t mean you will have any more success in that service.

It seems like Denver matchmakers are trying to out do each other with over-the-top fees.  This has nothing to do with the clients only how much money these people can make to top each other.

As the oldest Denver matchmaker (36+ years) and the most successful (300+ marriages), I do not even charge those extravagant fees.  It just is not necessary.  I have had more success for my clients since 1989 with a more reasonable investment than these pricey services.  I offer more assistance/coaching and an open-ended contract than all of them and even with all of that feel there is a limit to the pricing.

Of course, if you feel that the service is more impressive or will be more successful if you pay more money, I am more than willing to take a larger fee…but that’s silly isn’t it?

YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN SUCCESSFUL AT MATCHMAKING WHEN…

As one of the original professional matchmakers since 1989 the best testimonies to my success are imitators.  On a daily basis I find people from all over the world studying my website for tips as to how to structure and operate a successful matchmaking service.  One of the more blatant examples in the United States is Renee Piane who developed her business directly from my structure, press kit and articles.

Of course the other gauge of success are all of the marriages facilitated through Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, the oldest Denver matchmaking service.  I am even more proud of the fact that most of those marriages happened with either the first or second match for one or both parties.  I attribute that to the extensive profile on each client along with their photos that are shared with prospective matches.

So, in this 35th year of professional Denver matchmaking, Bon Jour stands out amongst other Denver matchmakers in numerous ways.

This Denver Matchmaker Wants You to Succeed!

I’m writing this Post to emphasize and explain two important aspects of this service and your profile when you become a client.

The two most important areas are also the ones most clients have difficulty with.  First, your pictures for Bon Jour Matchmaking.  My clients are quite savvy and know when the pictures are professional which they discount immediately because of the better lighting, make up and photo shopping.  So I request snapshots.  I need both head and full length.  Most of the people just try to find their various pictures on their computer and use those which often leads to me saying that I need them to get with a friend (or whomever) and take a bunch of photos in various outfits and send me the best ones.  This should not be that big a deal but people seem to get very frazzled with this process.  It is to the client’s benefit to have pictures that are clear, current, uncluttered with other people and places and most people end up doing just that.  Remember, I want you to succeed!  Giving me pictures that are more “Internet dating services” type pictures will not be well received by clients and are not appropriate in most cases for Bon Jour.

The second very important component is the Narrative that a new client writes shortly after the interview once they have viewed multiple profiles and read their Narratives.  I am very specific at what should and should not be included in this.  It is all of half of a page, however again people lose their minds over this.  You all went to college and worked a lot harder at assignments than this requires, however many people have a tough time getting this right.

The purpose of the Narrative is to pull the whole picture together, including information that is not addressed elsewhere on the profile.  It is in the case where a prospective match who is on the fence will fall towards you because of information contained in that Narrative rather than away from you.  I just want you to succeed.

That is why you chose Bon Jour, for the coaching and assistance but also because of the pictures and thorough profile information.

HOW TO SUCCEED IN DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICES

STOP rushing to judgment when you meet someone.  I had a client last year who I introduced to another client.  Her feedback on him was that he was very mannerly, very interesting, very nice but that he had “herpes”.  Well I spent two hours interviewing this gentleman and saw no signs of “herpes” or anything else that would give me pause.  However, if I had I would have asked about it.  She spent two hours with him and never asked about it.  Had she done so she would have found exactly what I presumed she meant.  This gentleman has psoriasis and had a particularly bad flair up when they met.  I really feel he should have explained that to her which would have pre-empted her rush to judgment and/or she should have asked.  But to jump to the WRONG conclusion is inappropriate and not fair to either you or the other person.  She even said to me that it would not be prudent for people to know that I have someone with “herpes” I’m setting up.  WELL I DON’T and don’t appreciate that comment when she was dead wrong about her assessment!

I’m sure that happens often whether it is a physical thing or behavioral.  I know when I was dating that was a mistake I made…rushing to judgment.  So here I sit setting up everyone else in Denver due to so many mistakes I made through 40 years of relationships.  The good news is that I have vast experience and the objectivity to assist clients in making the right decisions, judgments and choices.

So regardless of the venue you use to meet people, try, try, try to stay open minded until you know the facts.  And if you have a question about something ask them.

WORKING WITH THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS A COMMITMENT

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

WORKING WITH THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS A COMMITMENT.

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WORKING WITH THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS A COMMITMENT

WORKING WITH THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS A COMMITMENT.

BE REALISTIC WHEN HIRING A DENVER MATCHMAKER

I really try to view my clients from their perspective…if I hired a matchmaker what would I expect, is that realistic?  So being empathetic to their point of view but knowing what really happens in a service I can see both sides of the coin.

When you spend money you expect results.  This is love…most people who come to Denver matchmaking services have tried several other venues first that have obviously failed.  So, you should already know going in that it isn’t as easy as spending the money and getting the results.

There are clients who meet someone outside the service right after becoming a client. That’s fate? Maybe opening the door seriously with Bon Jour has opened the universe. However they meet the right person, that’s the goal!

When a new client works with me together, we work to find the most appropriate match(es) so they don’t waste their time with people who do not fit their criteria and preferences.  And that have the same goal.

People decline profiles they are shown at the time of the interview and the people they choose might decline to meet them.  My clients have free will but are very good at keeping an open mind and listening to my advice and coaching.  That doesn’t mean you will have success.  But I stack the deck in your favor by having an open-ended contract, profiles with pictures, coaching, etc. which has worked successfully for many Denver singles.

I DON’T ACCEPT EVERYONE WHO CALLS BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

In receiving a FREE phone consultation call today from a 47 year old woman I could tell in minutes that this is not someone I would be able to assist or want to work with.  I was very direct and clear about that and although she could dish it out, she wasn’t as good at taking it.  She was shocked that I would turn her down (because you better believe that no other service would, they’d want her money) and I pointed out that isn’t it better that I don’t accept you as a client and take your money knowing I can’t help you rather than lie and just take your money?????

I will always be honest with you to the best of my knowledge through this FREE phone consultation as to whether I feel you have a good chance in the service and we can work well together or not. If I don’t feel the above I will not accept you as a client and suggest alternatives.

However, like with a recent client, the phone consultation went great, we had a great rapport so he joined the service.  He was very concerned about the very minimal investment fee that he was paying and brought it up every time we communicated.  Unfortunately once he became a client his attitude changed and when asked to follow through on things he not only didn’t but did not communicate that he couldn’t or why.  The reason always turned out to be that he was too busy…but he always mentioned the investment fee. When we first spoke he was focused and eager to find his mate, once he joined he didn’t walk the talk…we are no longer working together.  I had no way of knowing he would have an attitude change after he became a client.

Do you know there is a service in town who charged my most recent new client $5600 for 18 months and 12 “dates”.  She said NONE of the men met her criteria and she was told by the men that they were allowed to see pictures of her but the women never see pictures of the men.  Also they only read you a paragraph about the person THEY have chosen for you.  The last man she was set up with it turned out was not even a client of the service but a friend of the owner.  So she paid this ridiculous exorbitant fee and he paid nothing.  Can you guess which service?  It is a local Denver “matchmaking service” not a franchise.

I’m asking you to understand that paying a service $4,000+ does not get you a better service.  It merely makes that service rich.  READ the reviews, they are all the same.  Read the reviews of Kelleher on this site under Blog as well as Millionaire Matchmaker.  They both charge up to six figure fees and do less for their clients than I do!