I am hearing from Denver singles on a regular basis how disappointed they are in the local matchmaking services they’ve chosen.  It is always the same reasons…too expensive, no information or photos of prospective matches, matches who are not even close to the criteria set forth initially/ongoing and a lack of interaction with the owner/matchmakers once they are a client.  Don’t work with “matchmakers” who really have no experience in this field and have been educated and working in some other vocation but thought matchmaking would be fun.  It’s too serious to you and too much money to “play” matchmaker.

If you are the type of person who wants to see a questionnaire and pictures of prospects why are you letting someone talk you into eliminating that to do it their way.  Especially, in certain instances, when the owner/matchmakers haven’t been doing this business for very long.

Also, don’t join…

Keep these tips in mind as you navigate the dating landscape:

Regarding Attraction:

Women use all of their senses when falling in love.  According to researchers, men process their attraction with the right side of their brains, which is visually stimulated (surprise).  While women use their whole brain to do the job, which is why they communicate more effectively with their partners.

Sense of Adventure:

A mate whose adventure matches your own and who can keep up with you may be a good partner for life.  Specifically adventure, not necessarily specific activities.  Common activities can be cultivated whereas you must have common morals and values.

Self Esteem:

Be secure with who you are and with what you want in a mate.  The better you know yourself and what makes you happy, the better you’ll know what kind of mate is best suited to you.

Criticism:

Don’t be a critic.  You…

I start evaluating everything about you from your first contact with me.  If written I notice grammar, spelling, and politeness.  If by phone, attitude, philosophy (i.e., it’s a numbers, game how many clients do you have?), and our communication styles with each other.  This is such a personal endeavor it is important that we communicate well with each other.  As I’ve said many times on this site, I turn down more people than I accept based on a wide variety of factors.

I had a woman call me and leave a message.  So I returned the call promptly and didn’t hear back.  (I do not chase after clients like other Denver Matchmaking Services.  I want to see your level of interest, reliability and motivation).  Months later she called again leaving another message.  Again, I returned her call promptly and again never heard from her.  This shows me a number of…

CONGRATULATIONS to Leslie and Tom on their recent marriage.  In the case of this couple each one selected several potential prospects, however they had each other high on their lists.  Consequently after their first choices didn’t click they were each other’s second choice.

After a year of dating they became engaged and now they are Bon Jour Matchmaking’s 313th couple!  Yes, this can work if you agree with my philosophy and are motivated to meet the right person regardless of how long that may take.

With my open-ended contracts for all clients, you have all the time in the world to find the person you’ve always hoped to spend your life with.  Bon Jour Matchmaking is filled with highly educated, physically fit, volunteer oriented, adventurous Denver and Front Range singles.  If that describes you, please review this site, read lots of Posts and give me a call if it resonates…

To quote the brilliant Albert Einstein, “The definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”  This was requoted to me by a new client prior to his interview as the reason he decided to stop using Internet dating sites and work with a professional Denver Matchmaker.

So that along with his age range which I found to be very appropriate and open-mindedness led me to believe that this would be a client who would be flexible and approach selecting matches differently than when he used the Internet dating sites.  Oh contrar…after viewing about 15 profiles and selecting one and one maybe I could see that the above quote, although recited by him, was not really how he felt and operated.

This is his logic in his selection process:

He has grown children and prefers someone who has had children BECAUSE that is a…

Although I’ve alluded to it in several posts I thought I would just directly explain what Bon Jour Matchmaking both provides to all clients and what is expected in return.  It’s not that I’m a control freak, it’s that I know all of my clients personally and individually so I know how they think.  Isn’t that what you want from a personal Matchmaker?

This is a total collaboration meaning from the very first time you call me I start noticing your grammar, whether your outgoing voice mail contains some part of your name (making it easier for a match to know they’ve called the right number) instead of something automated that could be anyone.

Whether you’ve paid attention to what I’ve explained multiple times in this website that if you wish to be quoted a fee you need to CALL me as there are several questions I need to ask…

I recently had a new female client, age 26, also a small business owner join my service.  She was outgoing, very adorable, sent in all information asked for prior to the initial interview and seemed like a great new client.  I was wondering why she is single…mystery solved!

During this initial interview she mentioned several times that she was flaky and unreliable.  I heard her say that and replied that I didn’t find her to be that at all.  Did she mean in the past?  No, she replied, she still is.  Again, I stated that was not the impression I was getting at all.  She selected a few men she would like to meet and we were on our way.

The last thing I ask a new client to do after the initial interview is write a Narrative.  I spend a good 30 minutes going over what should be in…

99.9% of my clients understand that our relationship is a collaboration.  They have chosen to work with Bon Jour Matchmaking Service because they trust in my personal relationships with all of my clients and my extensive years of experience in Denver matchmaking.

If you choose to become a client I would hope that you strongly appreciate my judgment as to whether your photos will be successful as well as your Personal Narrative.  How do I know?  Because I am either sitting with a client as they view your profile or I read it to them over the phone and receive their feedback.  So I am not guessing how they respond, I know.

I am invested in your experience in Bon Jour Matchmaking being a success and would hope and require that you are equally invested.  So, rather than disagreeing with me when I make a suggestion or give you…

Haven’t you always wished you could go back and ask people you’ve dated why they stopped seeing you?  Have you sat by the phone, not literally but mentally, waiting for a call that never came?  Haven’t you ever gone on a first date and had a great time, great chemistry and lots of interest and felt that the other person did also but you never heard back from them?

Along with all of the other services and perks you receive as a client of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, as your hands-on Denver Matchmaker I will share with you feedback from your matches.  Not only things that may have turned them off or on, but also whether they are interested enough to call you back…so no more waiting for a phone call that will never come!  You may have dating patterns that are sabotaging potential great relationships but how will…