POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY MATCHMAKING SERVICE

In the 33+ years I’ve been matchmaking, the one component that people who meet a mate possess is…they don’t raise their standards just because they are in a service. All of the Bon Jour Matchmaking Service clients who married (600+ people, 300+ couples) were realistic in their expectations and chose matches that they would choose anywhere outside of the service.

When you join a local service, you are exposed to singles who you would never have met otherwise. They may travel a lot or live in communities you never visit. They may be involved in some activities slightly different than yours, so you don’t meet through those. Take advantage of the fact that but for Bon Jour (or any local service) your paths would never have crossed.

Over the years I’ve seen clients turn down perfectly appropriate profiles of clients in the service when outside of the confines of Bon Jour I’ve seen them with people who don’t come close to the “standards” they put forth with me. Just because you are investing in a professional to assist you doesn’t mean you should close yourself off to people that you might otherwise have met outside the service.

When you go to the supermarket, the post office, the doctor, work, a restaurant or walk in the park clients are more open to people who do not necessarily meet their high standards when hearing or viewing profiles. Why would you close yourself off inside of a service when you are open outside? That doesn’t make sense. You are shooting yourself in the foot if that is the way you approach your time in local services.

I do adhere to the criteria and preferences you give me and come as close as possible to the “perfect” match(es).

I can provide tons of information, lots of photos, my input and my upscale clientele for your perusal. Also, when I am out and about, I always scan venues for singles who would fit for each of my clients and approach those singles to join Bon Jour. The last woman I approached in a Pilates class became engaged in 2 months to the first man she met through Bon Jour and they are now married. So, I am proactive when living life to encourage singles who fit for my clients to consider the service, as well as social media and referrals.

The bottom line is…be open as much as a client inside of a service as you are when you are living your life and you may get the results you want much faster.

WHAT TYPES OF SINGLES ARE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WHEN WORKING WITH A DENVER MATCHMAKER?

Since 1989 I’ve observed the types of people who have the most success working with me. Contrary to popular belief they are not the most beautiful or handsome, in fact they are usually average to a bit above average. They are not the richest men, they are realistic men and women. They pay attention to the feedback I give them and suggestions I make to improve their success. Bon Jour Matchmaking does not accept people who are married or separated. So below is a short list of the qualities that will make a single successful in the Denver matchmaking market:

1. Realistic – If you come in with the expectation that you can place your order and expect that person to either currently be on file waiting for you or that I can conjure them up you are not being realistic. You know your strengths and weaknesses and you should expect to meet someone who both accepts and compliments those. Timing has much to do with your success so patience is also a requirement. You are not looking to meet someone who is 15+ years younger than you.

2. Patient – You realize that the person you are seeking may not be in the service at the exact time you join. This is the reason for the open-ended contract. So that you will be in the service when that “right” person comes along, whenever that may be.

3. Open-Minded – At the time of your 2-hour interview you are shown all of the profiles of clients belonging to Bon Jour Matchmaking Service who are a fit for you personally. Don’t compare them against each other, but evaluate each profile on a per person basis whether this person is a good match for you. Your expectations are the same as they would be outside of the service rather than higher because you’ve made a financial investment. Instead of thinking that you only want to meet the exact same type of people that you usually date, consider that may be the problem and open up to other types. I.e., don’t look at a person and say they remind you of someone who didn’t work out so you won’t meet them. They are not that person. Obviously, there was something that attracted you to that person but this may be a better version of them…open your dating palate.

4. Reasonable – You don’t judge whether a person is “cheap” or insecure by something they do or don’t do during the first meeting. Everyone is uncomfortable with a first meeting and may not do everything perfectly.

Those are just a few of the reasons certain people are successful with Bon Jour Matchmaking. They are realistic, patient, open-minded and reasonable. Are you?

YOU NEVER AGE OUT AT BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

I have been asked on the rare occasion whether someone who is at the higher end of the age range will “age out” when they reach the highest age. So, I thought I would address that…

NO, it IS an open-ended contract. That said, you have to realize whether you are male or female that the more “mature” you are, the less prospects will be interested. That’s just the way it is…on both sides.

For example, I had a woman come in at age 56 when the high end for women was 60. At 67 she met her now husband. Conversely, her, now husband, came in at age 66 (the high end for men was 70 at that time) and he married the one and only first person he met!

This Denver matchmaking service has been established for 33 years because Bon Jour is structured to offer every advantage possible to each client. I put the goal of my clients as the most important aspect of the service.

DIRECT AND HONEST or CHARISMATIC AND UNTRUSTWORTHY

Which Do You Prefer?

Are you the type of person who falls for charm and charisma and lives to regret it? Those charismatic charmers are often called scammers. I have a relative who is very, very charismatic, however once he’s “got” you he’s like a snake and will bite you the minute you are off guard. Yes, they are wonderful to chat with but beware of doing business with them or getting romantically involved.

When you are doing business and making a financial investment whether it be with a financial advisor or a personal Matchmaker, is it more important to you that they have a “good bedside manner” even if they are not trustworthy? There are many business owners like that in all categories of business who have left a trail of very pissed off people behind them. In the long run the truth is the most important component regardless of the type of business. Charisma only goes so far and in the long run cannot hide that you’ve been “taken”.

So, my personal preference is honesty, however that is delivered. Preferably if it is delivered with tact, that would be the best scenario, but the two aren’t always compatible. The recipient of the truth may not take it well no matter how it’s delivered if they don’t like the information. After 33 years of working closely with various personality types I know “you can’t please all the people all the time”. But I’d rather be known for being direct and honest than someone who is charming but can’t be trusted.

Because of my upbringing back East (although I’ve been in Denver for 41 years) you will notice the directness and perceive the honesty. Believe it or not I have mellowed in the 40 years…you can take the girl out of the east, but you can’t completely take the east out of the girl. Most people living in Denver are from other states where they were raised and have brought that upbringing with them. That’s one of the things that makes Denver cosmopolitan and diverse!

Everyone has a choice about how they wish to appear to others. The length of time I’ve been matchmaking in Denver makes me an authority on my clients and how things work in my service. After all, I’ve created Bon Jour Matchmaking based on the structures of other services that I found to be not client friendly. It also gives me insight into what does not work with Denver matchmaking services. I have complete confidence in my approach which may be interpreted as cool or bottom line. My choice has been and will continue to be direct and honest about the service, the clients and myself. That does not appeal to everyone, but I feel if I’m asking you to entrust both with your heart and your investment in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, you deserve the truth and nothing but the truth. How else can you be successful in this endeavor? We have to be honest with each other. A lack of honesty is often what is missing in dating and that’s why potential relationships fail. I hope to bridge the gaps that can come up, especially early in a relationship.

Legitimate Denver Matchmaking Services

How do I know if a dating service is legitimate?

Of course, view the Denver Better Business Bureau website and/or if you like a consumer advocate on any local news stations call them and ask if they know anything about that service. For example, a service in Colorado Springs claims on their website to have been in business since 1987. However, if you look them up on the BBB it states that they were established in 1993! So, it does pay to check the BBB and don’t just look at the rating. Even a service with an A rating may have had complaints if you scroll down the information. There is a local service (I forget now which one) who had 5 complaints in 36 months but still has an A rating! Perhaps the BBB is a little liberal with their rating system, but still worth checking out.

Google lots of customer reviews as there are many sites that have reviews of businesses besides Yelp (who has come to be known as prejudicial towards companies who buy advertising from them). Yelp has gotten the reputation of favoring to put negative reviews and hide positive ones because that’s more interesting to readers. Take all reviews with a grain of salt but if there are a particularly high number of negative reviews that should make you stop and think especially if they are complaining about the same issue.

In general, ask other singles if they’ve heard anything about that matchmaking service and what they may know. Certainly, of some significant importance is, how long has this service been in business? There are many people who open dating services either as a scam to make quick money or have been in another field and think it would be fun to run a dating service. Consequently, they come on with a flourish and disappear within months or a couple of years, with YOUR money! Do your homework, some of the services are very expensive and have left many unhappy clients in their wake. Some have been sold multiple times meaning they are unstable.

In the past couple of years many Denver matchmaking services and coaches have popped up out of nowhere, who knows how long they will be around, and they are charging high fees with no track record and very few clients. Don’t let a smooth “pitch” push you into making a foolish and costly decision. Look at the facts!

IN BON JOUR MATCHMAKING WE ARE PARTNERS

When you first contact me to ask questions about my service, that is when we both start evaluating whether my structure, philosophy and personality fit for you and I assess whether you are someone my clientele would be interested in meeting, truly understand my philosophy, whether you are realistic, your dating attitude and whether we communicate well enough to work together. To make this a successful partnership both sides have to fit…just like with your matches.

As it says all over my website this is an OLD FASHIONED MATCHMAKING SERVICE. Presumably you are calling me because you understand that and all that means. So to ask me how many are in my “database” right off the bat tells me you don’t get it. My clients are not a “database”, they are clients. Would you want to be considered part of a database or a client? One implies a much closer relationship than the other.

If your philosophy is the more people I meet the more apt I am to find the right one, that it’s a numbers game, this is not the service for you. This is a MATCHMAKING service, consequently you are not thrown together with just anyone in your age range or that you purchased in a package. You are MATCHED, on both sides, with the most appropriate people. I presume you are only looking for “The ONE”, not the bunch to have a serious relationship with or marry. Remember, almost all the couples who have married, married either the first or second person I introduced them to regardless of how long that may have taken, thanks to your open-ended contract.

If we decide to work together I will ask you to send me a minimum of 6 pictures prior to your interview. If you do not follow that request it becomes clear that you may be difficult to work with. There are things in this service that you agree to follow as on the Behavioral Agreement and Contract and I need to see prior to our meeting that you are reliable and follow through. That’s why people select Bon Jour, because the clients are reliable and have the same goal unlike in other local matchmaking services.

Again, this is a partnership and from the very first contact it becomes clear to me whether you are with me or against me. For your best results we need to be partners.

When we work together I am your advocate, confidant, partner, agent and representative. I am always present either in person or by phone when I read someone your profile and send them your photos so they often ask my opinion of you and/or whether you would be a better choice than someone else they have viewed. So, if I was the client I would be as nice, polite, obliging and cooperative with my matchmaker as possible so that when a prospect asks about me, my matchmaker would gush about how much they like me and how easy I am to work with, etc. Does that make sense?

Some of the Posts on my website may come off as very direct and emphatic. I am very confidant both in my matchmaking abilities based on the 33+ years of matchmaking and the structure of this service. I didn’t purchase Bon Jour from someone else, I created it in 1989. I didn’t work for another service and then decide to steal their clients and start my own. This is and always has been my baby. My clients are my “kids” and I’m as protective of them as a mother would be of her children. I guess the bottom line is…you can choose to be part of a database or you can choose to be one of my clients. Either way I wish you the best of luck in your quest!

SINGLES, YOU MUST BE BETTER CONSUMERS WITH DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICES

I am hearing from Denver singles on a regular basis how disappointed they are in the local matchmaking services they’ve chosen. It is always the same reasons…too expensive, no information or photos of prospective matches, matches who are not even close to the criteria set forth initially/ongoing and a lack of interaction with the owner/matchmakers once they are a client. Don’t work with “matchmakers” who really have no experience in this field and have been educated and working in some other vocation but thought matchmaking would be fun. It’s too serious to you and too much money to “play” matchmaker.

If you are the type of person who wants to see a questionnaire and pictures of prospects why are you letting someone talk you into eliminating that to do it their way. Why are you letting the “matchmaker” choose your match, rather than you having the last word? Especially, in certain instances, when the owner/matchmakers haven’t been doing this business for very long.

Also, don’t join a service that doesn’t fit for you because you liked the owner. That is ridiculous! You should be taking a good look at the structure, what information and services you are paying this fee for and how long the person has been matchmaking. Obviously the longer someone has been matchmaking (and I don’t mean for other companies who did it differently) makes a HUGE difference in your success and experience in their service. I’m not saying to ignore your interaction with the owner, however after 36 years in Denver matchmaking, I can tell you that even with a client that was not the best partnership for me, that had nothing to do with my interest or success in reaching their romantic goal. It is one component but should NEVER be the entire reason to ignore all of the other features.

Rather than make a large investment in services that don’t fit for you, search through a Google or Bing search Denver matchmakers, Denver matchmaking, matchmaking in Denver and call them, then compare. If you are willing to spend thousands of dollars, then you should be willing to do your homework prior to spending it.

Last, but not least, services that have limited contracts and/or limited matches (where you purchase a specific number of dates) are a waste of your emotion, time and financial resources. They have their own agenda and it is all about the money, not you.

As I’ve said several times on this site, a service that won’t quote you their rate on the phone and interviews you in coffee shops or hotels (anywhere outside of a private office, send you a questionnaire or you fill out something online) should be avoided! If you follow this advice it will save you a lot of frustration and money.

Email me at michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

or

Call Me Directly at

303-756-8106

MATCHMAKING REVIEWS AND REVIEWERS

Wow, you really need to be skeptical about certain reviews. I had an issue with a new client who just would not follow through on aspects of setting up her profile and moving forward. Although I explained the necessity for this Narrative which completes your profile, she had excuse after excuse why she didn’t write it and when she finally sent it, she totally ignored my coaching, directions and explanation.

To be clear…the Narrative is a half a typed page that rounds out your profile. Should a new prospect read up to that point and be on the fence, the Narrative should have information that is not contained in the profile to hopefully push them towards meeting you. It’s as basic as that. Your profile is really not complete without it, which is explained to every new client.

I prefer not to share your profile until it’s complete as without the Narrative you may lose people who would consider meeting you after reading a good Narrative. During the interview I let clients know various things they mention that they should include. She totally ignored everything. I don’t really think this woman is interested in meeting someone. Perhaps she is getting pressure from family and friends at her age to do something, because she was not responsive with emails and did not finally send the last version of the Narrative for a month. Then it was pretty much the same as the first one, which would not help.

Conversely, I responded, like all my other clients have noted, immediately to her regardless of the fact that she was emailing me at times til 10pm. Then at 7am and I still responded immediately. She then wanted to “chat” after hours…Bon Jour is open 7 days a week from 9am to 7pm. That should fit into anyone’s schedule.

So, if and when she writes her negative review, hopefully it is taken with a grain of salt. The last email she sent telling me to drop her had totally incorrect information contained in it. Maybe she is just too immature to do a service like this. Maybe that’s the bottom line…and this applies to people who write reviews who were never even clients that Yelp loves to post while hiding…are you ready, 40 reviews from actual clients!

Also, I don’t think the general population knows this but there are dating services and matchmaking services who hire companies to delete their negative reviews! Several are located in Denver…

Email me at michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

or

Call Me Directly at

303-756-8106

HOW TO BE A REALISTIC MATCHMAKING CLIENT

When hiring a Matchmaker, you share the responsibility with the Matchmaker to work together, put your best foot forward, have an amicable relationship and be realistic in your expectations.

If you join a matchmaking service it is their responsibility to show your profile to the most appropriate candidates. Not to waste your time setting you up with prospects that do not fit your preferences. It is your responsibility to be realistic with your criteria and realize that whenever you are shown a profile you have the right to turn it down. Conversely when your profile is shown to a prospect they have every right to turn you down. Remember that although new clients come in every week they may not fit your preferences, be the opposite sex or select to meet you. So the key is patience…sometimes there is a match right away and sometimes it can take time until the right person enters the service. Try not to get discouraged if it takes time as it is better to be set up with a few great matches than tons of people who don’t fit your preferences! Like all of those services who sell you packages of “dates” for a finite period of time. Most of them do not fit your preferences but those services don’t care because they have your money and their main interest is blowing out your contract and trying to sign you again.

The job of the Matchmaker is to go over profiles with each client and be sure there are no misunderstandings in the information set forth, also that neither party overly analyzes this information or reads into it. Using a Matchmaker will help you answer questions you’ve never even thought of. A Matchmaker will help you focus in on what’s important, even if it may seem superficial.

Additionally coaching is an important component of matchmaking. Many good potential relationships get derailed during the first month or two due to lack of communication as well as miscommunication. I am there to convey and correct these issues as well as if there is something you are doing consistently to sabotage relationships I will point that out to you so that you may address the issue. The last two marriages in Bon Jour would never have happened had I not gotten in the middle in the first couple of months and straightened out a lack of communication in both instances!

As THE Matchmaker at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service in Denver I offer the most reasonable investment to new clients in the Front Range. You are a client until you find you achieve your goal with no additional fees than the one-time investment fee and per introduction fee of $35. That’s it, call to discuss your personal situation with me at 303-756-8106 so that I may quote you your personal investment fee.

Read These Pearls of Wisdom Before Investing in a Service

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How do I know if a dating service is legitimate?

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Email me at michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

or

Call Me Directly at

303-756-8106

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Email me at michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

or

Call Me Directly at

303-756-8106

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Email me at michelethematchmaker@gmail.com

or

Call Me Directly at

303-756-8106

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