MY ROLE AS A DENVER MATCHMAKER

Over the 36 years I’ve been matchmaking, one of my best attributes now is the ability to listen carefully. To follow my clients’ preferences and criteria and most importantly not to make decisions FOR them but rather WITH them.

Those qualities only come with years of experience in the business of professional matchmaking. Over all of these years I’ve seen clients choose people who surprised me and rejected people I thought they would like. So I’ve learned not to make matching decisions for them and to present people who I’m not sure they would be interested in. I don’t know everything and sometimes the clients don’t know themselves who may interest them ultimately.

I warn my clients be careful what you tell me in your criteria and preferences because I follow them closely. I will check to see if you have any flexibility and often most of my clients do. But when they don’t I respect that and carefully follow their desires.

Another important factor in being a great Colorado matchmaker is presenting enough information to each client so that together we can make the best choices. Along with the 6 page profile on each client, everyone has a minimum of 6 pictures. That information and the fact that I’ve met personally and work individually with every client as well as the open-ended contract are what has made Bon Jour Matchmaking Service so successful for 36 years and counting…HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BON JOUR MATCHMAKING! Below is my goal for you!

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS…

When Choosing a Matchmaking Service Consider:

1.    Why haven’t I ever used a local dating/matchmaking service?

2.    What has turned me off about Denver matchmaking services that I’ve either investigated or joined?

3.    What does Bon Jour Matchmaking do differently?

4.    What is my goal in using a personal matchmaker?

5.    What is the difference between Internet dating services and local services?

6.    What am I afraid of?

7.    Am I judging services by the success or lack of success of a friend?

8.    Why has Bon Jour Matchmaking been so successful?

9.    Which is more important to me…a glitzy website promoting a group of “matchmakers” or a meat and potatoes website representing a Matchmaker with years of experience with extensive information?

10.    What am I paying for…a fancy office and staff or years of experience dealing directly with one Matchmaker who knows all of her clients?

11.    Why am I afraid to pick up the phone and call a local service?  What’s the worst that can happen if I call?

12.    Do I think that a dating/matchmaking service will cure all problems I have with dating?

13.    What do I expect from a service, am I being realistic?

14.   Do I want to meet lots of people (who may not fit my criteria) so that I feel it is money well spent, or am I really seeking a mate, not a date for this investment?

15.   Do I have the patience and faith to give a real matchmaker time to achieve my romantic life goal?

16.    Why would services charging thousands of dollars interview clients at Starbucks or other public venues about such personal information?

17.    Why would I join a service that does not show me profiles of prospective matches with pictures?

18. If a service has a limited contract is that really practical? Am I interested in immediate gratification or is it most important to me to find the right person regardless of how long that may take?

After you’ve answered these questions (for yourself), let’s talk.  Phone me at 303-756-8106

WHAT DOES OPEN-ENDED CONTRACT MEAN?

Recently I’ve had the experience with several new clients when they initially called asking what an “open-ended contract” meant.  Other Denver matchmaking services may refer to it as a “Lifetime Contract” or a “Platinum Package” and charge you a lot extra to have that benefit.  EVERY client of Bon Jour has an open-ended contract!  That’s the way it should be if you are a REAL matchmaker.  You never know when that right person will present and you want to be there when they do!  The longest so far that I’ve worked with a client is 11 years and she DID get married in that 11th year to a man who became a widower the year before and joined my service after that…see, you never know when…meanwhile that widower married the first woman he met (my 11 year old client!).

My feeling is that calling it a Lifetime Contract or package is kind of depressing.  Also that is not what I mean by open-ended.  What I mean is that you are a client until…until you meet the right person and feel that you’ve accomplished your goal whether it be marriage or a lifetime partner.  It does not mean that once you’ve left the service for whatever reason you can just come back.  If you tell me to “drop your file” that will END the contract.  If you wish to come back in then you would have to start from the beginning.  I would have to re-interview you, etc.

What I’ve been told makes people suspicious is what I referenced above.  Other Denver matchmaking services charge so much more, if they even offer that option at all.  Every client in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service receives this contract.  As I’ve said throughout this site, I cannot promise that the day you join the perfect person will be here waiting for you.  They might be but I have no way of knowing that.  So you need to have the time for that “right” person to join the service and we don’t know when that will be.  But you surely want to be here when they do.

Services that offer limited contracts do not give you the time for that right person to present themselves.  They are most interested in trying to re-sign you again to make another fee.  In Bon Jour you only pay the filing fee once, at the time of your initial interview.  That’s it, you’re in until marriage, moving out-of-state or death do us part…

I hope that clarifies what I mean by open-ended contract.

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HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR DENVER MATCHMAKER MICHELE

I start evaluating everything about you from your first contact with me.  If written I notice grammar, spelling, syntax and politeness.  If by phone, attitude, philosophy (i.e., it’s a numbers game how many clients do you have?), grammar and our communication styles with each other.  This is such a personal endeavor it is important that we communicate well with each other.  As I’ve said many times on this site, I turn down more people than I accept to represent based on a wide variety of factors.

I had a woman call me and leave a message.  So I returned the call promptly and didn’t hear back.  (I do not chase after clients like other Denver Matchmaking Services.  I want to see your level of interest, reliability and motivation)  Months later she called again leaving another message.  Again I returned her call promptly and again never heard from her.  This shows  me a number of things about her and none of them are good.  IF she calls again I probably will not work with her. My clients deserve people who are sincerely motivated and reliable and that’s what I try to give them.  She has already made a bad impression.

More than likely you will only meet with me face to face once, at your initial interview.  When you dress for the interview remember I am your representative, agent, promoter, confidant and coach.  I am your advocate, I’m on your side to facilitate the best result in your quest.  So just like a job interview you need to make a good impression at this one opportunity.  That means visually as well as personality and attitude.  The more you cooperate, collaborate and follow through in a timely manner, the better our relationship will be.

As with your pictures you need to put a lot of thought into what you wear to the interview.  Also if you are difficult, indecisive or combative throughout the interviewing process that does not make a good impression.  This is an interview like any other so put your best foot and attitude forward.  The nicer and more appealing you are the more I will be apt to recommend you over someone else and push someone towards you when they are on the fence!

MEDIA CENTER

Television, Radio, Newspapers and Magazines

 Television:

1. The Gordon Elliott Show, New York, New York, appeared as a relationship expert

2. In Person with Maureen O’Boyle, New York, New York, appeared as a dating expert

3. KWGN Channel 7 News, Denver, Colorado, appeared in two feature stories about matchmaking and relationships

4. KUSA Channel 9 News, Denver, Colorado, appeared in a feature story about Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.

5. WB2 Channel 2 News, Denver, Colorado, appeared as a relationship expert on several morning show productions.

  Radio:

1. Featured host on KTLK Radio

2. Featured guest twice on KTLK Radio as a professional matchmaker

3. Featured guest on KOA Radio twice as a relationship expert

4. Featured guest on KNUS Radio as a dating expert and matchmaker

5. Guest on The Reggie Rivers’ Show (KHOW Radio) as a matchmaker

6. Featured guest on KHOW Radio to talk about dating services

7. Featured guest on KMIX Radio morning show as a professional matchmaker

8. Co-hosted a live call-in talk show on KOA Radio for 3 years  2004-2007

9. Castle Rock Radio, special guest talking about what women want from men they’re dating  2012

10. Castle Rock Radio, expert talking about what to look out for when selecting dating/matchmaking services and information about Bon Jour Matchmaking Service  2012

11.  Featured guest on KRCN AM talking about matchmaking and Bon Jour Matchmaking Service   2013

12.  As a featured guest on Business for Breakfast morning show  2012

13.  CPR Colorado Public Radio, Host Ryan Warner of Colorado Matters; “For Coloradans, How Hard Is It To Find Love In the Fittest State?”  2014

14.  KOA Radio, Hosts Dave Logan and Susie Wargen.  Valentine’s Day interview about various options Denver singles have who are alone on this holiday.  2015

15.  KHOW Radio, Host Tom Martino Troubleshooter.  February 10, 2016

Newspapers and Magazines:

1. The Rocky Mountain News, Denver, CO, featured story in Lifestyle section
2. The Rocky Mountain News, Denver, CO, “Talk of the Town” by Norm Clark
3. The Rocky Mountain News, Denver, CO, “Rocky Talk” by Penny Parker
4. The Rocky Mountain News, Denver, CO, Business Section Feature story
5. The Denver Post, Denver, CO, Bill Husted’s column, headline story
6. The Denver Post, Denver, CO, feature story Lifestyle section by Bill Briggs
7. Colorado Biz Magazine, Denver, CO, feature story by Kathleen Bohland
8. The Cherry Creek Times, Denver, CO, feature story
9. Profile, Denver, CO, feature story by Paul Kashmann
10. The Denver Post, Denver, CO, story by Bill Briggs
11. The Denver Daily News, Denver, CO, weekly columnist for “Dear Michele” column answering relationship and dating questions
12. The Denver Daily News, Denver, CO, weekly columnist writing about non-profit fundraisers in Denver
13. The Denver Post, Denver, CO, Bill Husted’s Gossip Column for Valentine’s Day 2010
14. Denver Life Magazine, Denver, CO, “Hearts On High, Finding Love in Denver”, Professional Advice page, January 2011

15. Westword Magazine Online, Denver, CO, ” Rick Barber KOA ALS”, Michael Roberts, April, 2013

16. Westword Magazine Online, Denver, CO, “Ten Trade-Offs to Capture The Love You Seek” from a Top Denver Matchmaker, Michael Roberts, December, 2014

17.  Westword Magazine Online, https://www.westword.com/news/michele-fields-on-30-years-of-creating-perfect-couples-11072453, Denver, CO, “Matchmaking in Denver; Michele Fields on Creating Perfect Couples, Michael Roberts, January 18, 2019

18. Shoutout Colorado, Meet Michele “the Matchmaker” Fields | Veteran, Old Fashioned Matchmaker/Coach – SHOUTOUT COLORADO

Staff writer for Colorado Golf Magazine

Weekly columnist for The Denver Daily News

Radio Talk Show Co-host with Rick Barber on KOA Radio

WHY YOU MAY NOT BE THE RIGHT CLIENT FOR THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER

Singles hire a matchmaker because they are having trouble of some kind in their interactions with dating.  Yes, it is to find the right person who has as yet been elusive, but there may be many things you yourself are doing that derail, curtail or just plain prevent successful long term relationships.

One glaring example is you are difficult or impossible to connect with.  Whether it be by phone or setting up meetings or dates.  If I have trouble getting you on the phone that alerts me that my clients may also have difficulty that may cause them to get frustrated and just move on.  If that’s how I feel you can be sure that’s how they will feel.  If I find this the case before you even become a client (which happened this morning) I will suggest that you contact another Denver matchmaking service.  My clients expect and deserve reliable people to meet for potential relationships.

If I find that you do not follow directions well even though I repeat them over and over it will discourage me from working with you as there are contracts stating timing that you have to adhere to and other things that, as a client, you need to follow through on as there is usually someone waiting for an answer (someone meaning a prospective match or me).

Whether you are in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service as a client or out in the world dating, look at the obstacles you are putting in the way of smoothly getting to know someone and cultivating a potential relationship.  Actions that may be discouraging, frustrating or just plain turning good potential mates off.  THAT is what I help with, that is the coaching in Bon Jour Matchmaking that is so invaluable!

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HOW TO BE A REALISTIC DENVER MATCHMAKING CLIENT

When hiring a Denver Matchmaker you share the responsibility with the Matchmaker to work together, put your best foot forward, have an amicable relationship with that Matchmaker and be realistic in your expectations.

If you join a Denver matchmaking service it is their responsibility to show your profile to the most appropriate candidates. Not to waste your time setting you up with prospects that do not fit your preferences. It is your responsibility to be realistic with your criteria and realize that whenever you are shown a profile you have the right to turn it down. Conversely when your profile is shown to a prospect they have every right to turn you down.  Remember that although new clients come in every week they may not fit your preferences, be the opposite sex or select to meet you.  So the key is patience…sometimes there is a match right away and sometimes it can take time until the right person enters the service.  Try not to get discouraged if it takes time as it is better to be set up with a few great matches than tons of people who don’t fit your preferences!

The job of the Matchmaker is to go over profiles with each client and be sure there are no misunderstandings in the information set forth, also that neither party overly analyzes this information or reads into it. Using a Matchmaker will help you answer questions you’ve never even thought of.  A Matchmaker will help you focus in on what’s important, even if it may seem superficial.

Additionally coaching is an important component of matchmaking.  Many good potential relationships get derailed during the first month or two due to lack of communication as well as miscommunication.  I am there to convey and correct these issues as well as if there is something you are doing consistently to sabotage relationships I will point that out to you so that you may address the issue.  The last two marriages in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service would never have happened had I not gotten in the middle in the first couple of months and straightened out a lack of communication in both instances!

As THE Matchmaker at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service in Denver I offer the most reasonable investment to new clients in the Front Range.  You are a client until you find your match with no additional fees than the one-time investment fee and per introduction fee of $35.  That’s it, call to discuss your personal situation with me at 303-756-8106 so that I may quote you your personal investment fee.

CLEVER BANTER

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YOUR PICTURES FOR BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

New Picture Policy

Traditionally Bon Jour has taken pictures at the time of the interview at no charge to the client.  I feel that the client is more relaxed in their own environment taking their time and having a friend take lots of shots, then sending me the best ones.  That’s what often happens anyway so I am starting a new picture policy as of this date 3/18/13.

One of the biggest benefits to clients of Bon Jour Matchmaking is the sharing of photos.  If you select to work with Bon Jour than I will guide you as to which pictures work best and which will not based on my one-on-one experience with each client and their reactions to the pictures.  For the best results as a client following my advice and direction about your pictures will only benefit you…So if you decide to work with me it is because I am so hands on in every aspect of your experience.

Because you are making both a financial investment as well as an emotional investment don’t be lazy with your pictures.  Don’t just send me fuzzy, distant or pictures with lots of other people in them.  Take the time to have someone take new, current photos that represent you as you are now.  They should be similar to the ones below.  They are very important when potential matches view your profile so make an effort to do them right.

When you schedule an appointment for an interview to become a client you will be required to send me a minimum of SIX current photos (head shots and full length shots) prior to the interview.  These should not be professional photos but should be only snapshots.  But they should be photos that you approve of being shared with prospective matches.  They should be clear photos of your face and figure/body so that people viewing them can easily see an attraction.  Following are examples:

They don’t need to be dressy.  The point is that they are clear pictures of you…

Michele
MeMeMe
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To mitigate the over-analyzing of their photos from certain clients who never like their pictures, I am implementing this new policy.  This is one of the reasons most local services do not share photos of their clients.  I feel, however, that to decide whether you have an interest in someone you need all the information possible and will always share photos along with extensive questionnaires.

THE BEST ASPECTS OF BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Open-ended contract…you are a client until you reach your goal;

One Matchmaker who knows ALL of her clients;

You are ONLY introduced to my clients who I’ve met personally, interviewed and who have had a background check;

35 years of experience in Colorado matchmaking;

300+ marriages;

Feedback both positive and negative to assist you;

Coaching to correct unproductive and unsuccessful dating patterns;

Extensive profiles with current photos for clients to view;

Collaborative effort between client and Matchmaker;

Clients decide who they are interested in meeting after I select appropriate profiles that fit on both sides;

VERY reasonable investment fee based on each individual client’s situation;

 Make your investment fee back if you get married, move or leave Bon Jour.

These are just the highlights.  Please read through this web site to gain more in-depth information.