Here’s a shocker…women are known for being communicative and men not so much. This Denver Matchmaker of 24 years has found the exact opposite!
I have found women to have high expectations and often not to communicate changes that I may need to update their profiles. They are also less apt to show appreciation for the match or marriage through my service.
Conversely my men are the ones who call with feedback after the first meeting/date, update me from time to time on how the relationship is going and let me know when they get engaged. They also tend to show more appreciation for my efforts.
So what does this mean? Could mean several things but my suggestion to single women is to go easy on your Matchmaker. Even the best Matchmaker can only work with clients who are in the service who have been vetted and follow your preferences. There is every incentive for your Matchmaker to set you up if the situation arises, especially when you are paying a per introduction fee.
For dating in bulk with no real commitment and a question mark as to how true the information you view is…my suggestion is to use the Internet or a service who sells a certain number of dates and hope for the best.
Although I am more the tortoise than the hare when it comes to Denver dating and matchmaking (remember who won that race), I only set you up based on mutual compatibility and both parties having access to a multitude of information and agreeing to the match. That’s why most of the 313 couples who have married through Michele the Matchmaker at Bon Jour married either the first or second person they met in the service!
As a Denver single myself as well as a Professional Matchmaker for 22 years I can really empathize with my clients on many levels. I try to put myself in my clients’ position if I were to join a Denver Dating or Matchmaking Service. After all that is how I decided on the structure of my service in 1989.
When you come in to Bon Jour Matchmaking Service for your two-hour interview and make your investment you assume there will be people you will be excited about lots of prospects and that because you want to meet them they will want to meet you. Like the Internet or any other dating venue that may not be the case OR it may be, there is no way to know in advance. The make-up of the clientele varies from week to week. That’s why there is so much value in having my open-ended contract. So whenever the right person arrives, whether it’s the day you join or later, you will be there!
If you contact a local Denver dating service and they make all kinds of promises logically that cannot be the case. Not if they are doing their job right. If you want to date in bulk use the Internet. To pay a service for a specific number of dates you are asking to be sorely disappointed in the quality as well as the compatibility. I’ve heard this directly from many, many singles who have used those. They are also ridiculously expensive and have limited contracts.
What is your definition of a Matchmaker?
I often tell the story of the last two couples who married through Bon Jour Matchmaking Service. The reason for explaining dating through a Denver Matchmaker is so that new clients are realistic with their expectations minimizing disappointment.
As I’ve explained in previous posts there is no definitive way for me to predict how successful a client will be. The last two couples who married through Bon Jour seemed to be unlikely matches to me. But the fact is they chose each other and although on one side it happened right when they joined the service, on the other it took a bit longer. But both people married the first person they met. They didn’t waste time, emotion and money meeting tons of singles who didn’t really fit for them. They patiently selected the right person for them and thus were very successful and not burned out on assembly line dating. Matchmaking is not a numbers game…unless you make it one.
The point of the stories is that for some people it happens immediately and for others it may take time for the right person to arrive in the service. With my open-ended contract all clients have the advantage of time. I believe in fate and timing and Bon Jour Matchmaking gives you the gift of time as we work along with fate. You can’t ask more from a matchmaking service than that.
Although internet dating services appear to be a great way to meet lots of singles in practice not so much. One of the many problems with it is that people have one eye on you and the other looking for someone “better” to meet. There is a lack of commitment upon meeting and dating. Most men using the internet have the philosophy it’s a numbers game and what better numbers than on the internet.
But additional drawbacks to internet dating are that people lie, post old photos or photos of someone else or may be married or in some type of relationship already. So you waste alot of time, energy and money chasing this elusive “right” person.
Joining a local dating or matchmaking service at least assures you that the person is who they say they are, has current photos of themselves and is single. However don’t fall for this background check stuff that services use to try to get you to trust them but mainly to charge you more. You can only find out so much and none of it is about loyalty, integrity or sincerety. If someone is using an alias you won’t find out anything or if they are a felon but haven’t been caught yet you won’t find anything. It merely gives you a false sense of security. Don’t pay extra for a service offering background checks.
Spark Denver’s economy and consider local services, however NEVER use a service that won’t quote their prices over the phone and insists on you coming in either for a “free interview”, to evaluate you so they can decide how much to charge you for the service. I know of several services that do “meet and greets” at Starbucks or hotels just to size you up to figure out how much money they can get out of you. Please don’t fall for that!
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To be the most successful and the least disappointed in dating or matchmaking services it is wise to be realistic. When joining a Denver dating service don’t expect the perfect person to already be in the service. That may or may not be the case. Just because you joined when you did doesn’t dictate that the right people will already be there waiting. That is the biggest reason to join a matchmaking service that offers an open-ended contract (with no extra fee). Timing is a major component in the success of clients so the longer the service allows you to be part of it, the more apt you are to meet the right person.
Remember that Denver Matchmakers are not magicians. It is not Burger King. You can’t expect to place your order and have the perfect person pop out. Keep in mind what brought you to the decision to join. You’ve probably tried meeting someone on your own, used the Internet, joined other services and/or clubs. So why would you realistically expect things to happen immediately? That may happen or it may not, but if you expect it to happen right away you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.
Granted I’ve had many clients who got “lucky” and met their mate right after they came in and got married. Quite a few have, but there is no way for me to know whether that will happen for you. I don’t know your taste, background, whether you are open-minded or have tons of specific criteria for your selections. So when Denver singles ask me over the phone how successful they will be, there is honestly no way for me to know. I really feel that services who make lots of promises when trying to sign you should be avoided. There just is no definitive way to know how successful someone will be…it’s fate and timing but Bon Jour Matchmaking Service gives you the gift of time.
There are Denver dating services & Denver matchmaking services.
There’s a difference!
Generally speaking dating services offer a specific number of dates in their package, a limited contract containing those dates, you do not have access to client profiles and you are subject to the taste and opinion of the dating service. Often they disregard your preferences just to set you up, get through the contract and then sign you up for more.
Unlike matchmaking services which take you by the hand and go into an in-depth interview, show you profiles with lots of info and pictures and collaborate with you. Matchmaking services should only set you up with the most appropriate matches, not every match. It is up to you to select or reject profiles based on an abundance of information.
Not all dating services offer an open contract. If they even have one, they charge a large fee for it. Bon Jour Matchmaking Service offers all clients an open-ended contract at no extra fee. Michele the Matchmaker’s philosophy is that timing is critical and you want to be in the service when the right person comes along. There is no way of knowing when that will be, so you better be there when they do. That is the most outstanding benefit of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.
How It All Began
In 1989 I was working as a legal secretary suffering with severe insomnia. I found that working specific hours would tend to exacerbate this issue. So one night I was watching a movie called “Crossing Delancy” where a very obnoxious, pushy matchmaker played a minor role. I looked at her and thought, I could do a much better job and not be so pushy. I’ve done this many times in the past for free quite successfully. Thus a professional Matchmaker was born. Well, a new Matchmaker was hatched, after 25 years in the business I AM a professional Matchmaker! I have been lovingly known a Michele the Matchmaker since 1989. Nothing like on-the-job training, it’s the best way to learn. Some things cannot be taught in a book or in school.
My thinking was there is no downside to this venture. Certainly everyone who gets married through my service will be happy and appreciative. And perhaps I’ll meet my own mate, perhaps this is fate. I’ve learned a lot over these many years! Denver has an impressive singles community made up of intelligent, athletic, mature and open hearted residents. More than most cities!
Some of the things I’ve learned through this career are being a better listener; that just because someone has advanced degrees doesn’t mean they are intelligent; that many people without degrees can still make lots of money; that the best looking people are not necessarily the easiest to match; that so many marriages end after the 20 and even 30 year marks. But most important of all…that there are so many mature singles who, regardless of their losses or what they’ve been through, still have such an open heart and positive outlook on love.