LET ME HELP YOU CORRECT INEFFECTIVE DATING PATTERNS

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

I’ve received feedback about my Blog that people love my anecdotal stories as they help clarify my points.  So to illuminate this point…I have found with some of my clients that they have a regular routine of some kind that they don’t change when they come in here and meet potential mates.  Whether it be skiing every weekend in the winter, boating every weekend in the summer, going to their place in the mountains every weekend or whatever, once you have decided to work with a professional Matchmaker and meet good potential mates you HAVE to be flexible with your schedule.  You can do that routine when you are single, or even in a relationship but you HAVE to make the time to nurture a potential relationship and show flexibility.

I used to have a very attractive female client who owned several places in the mountains and two dogs.  On…

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STILL LEARNING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS AS A PROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER

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I attended a Christmas party where there was a bevy of successful and attractive women over 55.  There are lots of interesting, attractive, fit and energetic women over 55 and it seemed many of them were there.  No, this was not a singles party, it was a house party.  When they learned that I’m a professional Denver matchmaker they asked many questions and shared their own opinions, experiences and preferences in the Denver dating marketplace.

They have all had experience on the Internet dating sites.  I was sad to see that a couple of them admitted that they lie about their ages up to 5 years younger so as not to attract men 60+.  And let me just say, they didn’t need to.  They all looked GREAT!

The consensus on men over 60 was dismal.  I’m more than used to hearing this from men about women but still getting use to the rhetoric spewing from female mouths.  They talked about not wanting to take care of some old sick guy, about ED, about lack of virility and more.  I know many men over 60 who do not fit that description at all.  Some are clients and some are friends so I know first hand not to pigeon hole people.  Women have been suffering from that type of prejudice pretty much forever, but only recently have I heard women sounding more like their male counterparts.

I have to admit it’s disheartening.  Is this mainly due to their experiences on Internet dating sites?  Or to singles living in Denver?  That seemed to be the main reference.  But when you sign up for a relationship it’s for better or worse, in sickness and in health.  Remember?????  What happened to that?  One even commented that she has spent half her life taking care of her kids and does not want to do that for some “old” man (she was the main culprit of lying about her age).

I am left scratching my head…where do I go from here trying to matchmake singles over 50 who feel this way about each other?  The most recent couple to become engaged are over 50.  She is 52 and he is 58, the perfect age difference in my opinion.

I hope that in this new year singles over 50 will be more realistic and KIND to each other when considering age range!  Happy Holidays from Bon Jour Matchmaking Service!

WHY BON JOUR MATCHMAKING CLIENTS APPRECIATE THIS SERVICE

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

The type of Denver singles who join Bon Jour Matchmaking Service are people who already have made a good life for themselves. They are well educated, have stable careers and may travel extensively both for work and for pleasure. Many have already tried Internet dating sites, local matchmaking services or both. So they know what they like and don’t like in a service and what they expect from a personal Matchmaker. My clientele can count on the fact that what they see (on the questionnaire and photos) is what they get and that all clients are single and genuinely searching for love.

To keep my clientele happy and secure I start evaluating someone from their very first phone contact. The initial FREE phone consultation, which may last up to an hour or more, gives both myself and the potential client a very good idea of whether this type of structure…

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REAL COUPLES HAVING REAL RELATIONSHIPS

CALL ME…This is NOT a “sales” call, merely an exchange of information. The following couples are not clients of Bon Jour, but friends of mine who have been married at least 30 years…

ChuckCarolynLamar2013
GershonBaskinFamilyDen2014 003

Both male and female clients hire Bon Jour Matchmaking to find them fairly “perfect people”.  Minimum wrinkles, not too short, not fat, not too thin, not too tall, youthful, vibrant, athletic, etc., etc., etc.  My clients have much to offer in many categories which include sports, education, financially, careers, appearance, kindness and the list goes on.  But what gets in the way of many people’s success whether it be with me, other Denver matchmakers, Denver dating services or the Internet dating sites is that they are looking for perfection.  Above are pictures of happy, successful couples married 40+ years.  These couples did not meet through Bon Jour.  They met years before I started Bon Jour Matchmaking.  These are real people having real and successful relationships:  They are not models, they are people who were lucky enough to find the right person whether they are short, fat, taller than normal, sick, skinny or same age but look older, etc.  Those are the people having successful relationships.  Is that you????

DENVER MATCHMAKER CREATES LOVE FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

Denver Matchmaker, Michele Fields, has a history of matchmaking her clients diligently during the holiday season.  Her affluent clientele is excited to meet new singles who tend to hire Bon Jour Matchmaking Service in mass when the holidays are coming.

Singles may go comfortably through the rest of the year without a companion, but the holidays bring out one’s romantic, receptive and loving feelings.  It is a good time to be proactive with your love life with most people being happy, friendly and open to each other.  Unions are very successful during this period.

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DENVER DATING ETIQUETTE FROM THE DENVER MATCHMAKER

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

Michele the Matchmaker says guys, guys, guys…here’s the scoop. If you show up for a date late, dressing inappropriately for the activity and/or unkept it sends a very clear message to the woman you don’t care enough to take the time to “primp”. It’s really quite basic…comb your hair, brush your teeth, shave (even with facial hair to keep it neat), wear deodorant (not everyone likes cologne but AT LEAST wear deodorant). Make sure clothes are ironed and the right attire for the activities planned.

Good dating etiquette states, don’t be a wimp. If you know you are not interested or going to call, don’t say you will. If you are interested call soon. Don’t play little games with waiting to phone. The longer you wait the more she begins writing you off.

Michele the Matchmaker says ladies, ladies, ladies…wear clothes that are flattering! So many women don’t know what…

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MATCHMAKING, COACHING, LISTENING AND LEARNING AT THIS DENVER SERVICE

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

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Hiring a matchmaking service is a lot like hiring a financial advisor to direct you in the stock market.  You invest your money hoping for a large return; you have patience because the market can go up and down and you are basically making an educated decision about this form of investment.  Likewise in a matchmaking service your investment is in the hopes that you will meet people with the same goal as you; you are directed by the matchmaker which candidates (like stocks) will give you the best return; it can take time to meet the most appropriate matches and they may be successful or not.  It’s an investment in the process.  Again, patience is key.  With my open-ended contract you have the best opportunity to meet the “right” person when they present themselves.

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service not…

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I ALWAYS DATE WOMEN 20 YEARS YOUNGER

Michele "the Matchmaker" Fields's avatarBon Jour Matchmaking Service

Periodically I receive calls from men in their late fifties or early sixties who proclaim that they always date women 20 years younger and it’s never been a problem.  If it’s never been a problem why are you calling a Matchmaker?  As I’ve shared throughout this website I interview every client so I know the age range they prefer and how far they will stretch.  So if I say I have no women in their early forties who are interested in dating men 20 years older that’s not a guess.  I’ve interviewed them and it’s merely a fact.

When investing with a Matchmaker neither women nor especially men will deviate very much from what they specify at the time of the interview.  Both sexes are pretty inflexible in a service compared to how they would be meeting someone by chance.

In the past few years I have also received calls…

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ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL MATCH FROM BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

The most recent successful match from Bon Jour Matchmaking is a great couple.  Unfortunately, as with some couples who have met through Bon Jour they do not tell the truth when asked how they met.  How do I know?  They both told me.  And in addition I have received nasty notes from her since then.  Go figure…

When I started matchmaking I thought that one of the main perks would be how happy and appreciative clients would be when they met their spouse.  But it turns out that this can be a very thankless career, which still surprises me and saddens me.  When someone like a Matchmaker changes the rest of your life I think it’s appropriate to thank them (regardless of the fact that you hired them, not everyone attains that success who uses a Matchmaker) and show your appreciation by telling the people who ask how you met the truth.  That shows respect both to the Matchmaker AND your friends and family!

In 25 years I will never understand why some couples are not honest with their friends and family about meeting through a Denver Matchmaker…one would think that they would be grateful and appreciative to have found each other, however that happened.

As I said, they are not the first couple to not admit this and I have to say I really take issue with that.  Because I don’t advertise so that I may keep my fees lower than other services it is most important that successful couples tell the truth when asked how they met.

Keep in mind singles, what goes around comes around.  If you meet through any matchmaker please don’t mislead people about it.  Nobody really cares and it makes for an interesting story.  Also, you may help someone else who is looking for love.

YOU CAN COUNT ON BON JOUR MATCHMAKING CLIENTS TO WALK THE TALK!

As mentioned in previous posts I have a Behavioral Agreement that each client signs at the time of their interview.  The reason for this is two-fold.

The first reason for this Agreement is that clients are viewing or hearing a 6 page profile and viewing pictures.  If they get excited about meeting someone that excitement is only going to last, maybe, a couple of weeks.  After that it starts to wain, and they start thinking of other things and other people.  They lose interest.  So, to keep them excited the follow through needs to happen in a specific period of time.  If not, you run the risk of having them lose interest.

The second reason is feedback from clients who have used the Internet dating sites and local Denver matchmaking services that people just disappear with no explanation.  Or they don’t follow through on phone calls or making plans.  I don’t want my clients to have those experiences so everyone very happily signs this Agreement.

Bon Jour is set up to do everything possible to help relationships prosper.