WOMEN ARE GIVING MEN A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE

For 29 years of the 34+ I’ve been matchmaking, I periodically receive calls from men who want to meet women 15+ years their junior.  I have not accepted those men as women that much younger, especially if they are looking to have children, prefer to date men in their own age range…specifically in the context of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.

But an interesting twist has started in the past three years that has never happened before.  I am receiving more and more calls from women saying almost the exact same thing.  How great they look, they don’t look or act their age and they are often being hit on and have dated men up to 8 years younger than they are.  This comes up when I ask the age range they wish to meet.  So I explain that men, in Bon Jour which is the venue we are talking about, in that younger age range do not want to meet older women.  On occasion a man will agree to meet a woman a year or two older than themselves, but all of Bon Jour’s clients are looking for permanent, lasting relationships and I personally do not feel that an older woman with a younger man will last.  Or vice versa.  Obviously there are exceptions.  But when did this new revolution happen?  Sure, you hear of it from time to time, but the amount of women who call with this criteria is probably every other woman who phones now.  So this is a really new trend locally and in society that has reached a majority of women who feel as I describe above.

They say the same things that men have always said, that men in their age range are inactive, out of shape and they don’t want to be some old guy’s nurse.  I have to say to those women the same things I say to the men…if you are in shape, active, curious about life, sexual why wouldn’t there be men your age who are also?????

As men age they tend to turn to younger women for a variety of reasons.  So where will these women be when they age and his eye starts wandering?  As I said previously I only work with clients who prefer age appropriate matches as those are the ones that have lasted.  Look around the world, for the most part when two people of different generations marry it tends not to last.

Bon Jour Matchmaking’s main goal is to facilitate matches that will go the distance and both in my experience and general history around me I see that age appropriate matching lasts.  If you prefer to date MUCH younger as a man or woman I think the Internet dating sites are your best resource.

ANYTHING ELSE IS MERELY AN IMITATION

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is the name of a service, however matchmaking is my calling.  This isn’t just what I do, this is who I am.  In 1989 I felt that calling which became my career.  As with any successful career there will be imitators.  That was pointed out to me by a friend of 40+ years who, back in 1997 gave his sister, Renee Piane, my Press Kit detailing the structure and philosophy of Bon Jour.

I shared my Press Kit with the Piane family at the time because I had known them for years and had moved away in 1981 from back east to Denver.  It crossed my mind briefly that I was taking a chance leaving this information which was meant for future clients and the press with the Pianes but I trusted them and assumed they would just be proud of what I had created and accomplished.

Well I guess they were as in short order my structure and philosophy appeared on a website for Renee Piane.  I happened to see it and it was no coincidence that she had actually taken the wording from my Press Kit verbatim and transferred it onto her website.  Another old friend of mine from Denver who moved to California and worked for Renee told me that she regularly “borrowed” ideas from other venues.  For me matchmaking is a calling, for others it is a business.  Like so many other dating/matchmaking companies she has expanded into many areas to generate income and basically, like so many others, it is a money machine.

I can’t help but be flattered and fulfilled that she, and I dare to say others around the United States and the world based on my STATS page, have taken my structure and philosophy and made a business venture from it.  So in these past 34 years I have not only forged 300+ marriages but also inspired so many people to imitate my creation.  Sadly, like Ms. Piane, they rarely match-make anymore as they are so busy going off in other directions and now focus on the bottom line.

You can tell the difference between a “calling” and a “business venture” by the many directions they go in an effort to make money, rather than basic matchmaking to stay true to a “calling”.  I can tell by the amount of time people spend from different states and countries what their agenda is because it says boldly on this site that I only work with singles living in the Front Range of Denver.

Bon Jour Matchmaking is what it has always been and was meant to be…a straight forward old-fashioned matchmaking service.  There are elements that have been brought into the 21st century, i.e., this Blog and website, but the original philosophy and the way the service is run has remained true to my calling.  This is not a money machine, this is my passion.  Anything else is merely an imitation.

WE ALL WANT A “GOOD” MAN

(Click on the link to go to Posts)

If you are a “good” man defined by my female clients as kind, considerate, communicative, funny, supportive, well educated, SINGLE and stable I am looking for YOU!  A “good” man genuinely seeking to find the right woman for life.

Men from the ages of 30-65 are in demand in this well established Denver matchmaking service.  If you feel that you fit most or all of the above adjectives and fit in this age range you should STOP right now and pick up your phone, then dial me at 303-756-8106 to chat.

My female clientele is comprised of appealing, educated, stable, SINGLE and open-hearted women genuinely looking to meet the right man for them.  If you are not intimidated by educated, successful and stable women and you have tried other avenues that have not worked please read through the site and determine if Bon Jour Matchmaking Service resonates with you.  If so, please CALL me and let’s see if we are a match first before I can match you with your preferences.

WARNING…ANOTHER CRIMINAL REPORTED POSTING ON MATCH.COM

All information about Denver matchmaking services has come directly from either printed reviews and material already online and/or from callers or clients.  This is not my personal review.

Internet Dating Sites CAN Be Dangerous

Yesterday Dr. Phil had a female guest on the show who told a story of how she met a guy on Match.com.  She explained that his profile was normal and he was attractive (they showed his pictures).  So she met him and dated him for eight (8) days.  Around the 8th day she found that he was looking over her shoulder when she used her cell phone wanting to know who was calling and who she had called.  That was her first red flag.

That was enough of a red flag for her to stop seeing him.  She actually bowed out of the relationship quite gracefully saying that she really wasn’t ready to date yet.  Within a short period of time (not that day but I forget how long) she found him in her garage with a butcher knife.  He proceeded to stab her all about her head and neck.  Fortunately she was able to scream and a neighbor heard her and called the police.  By the grace of God she lived but is still having PTSD lingering with her.

This guy from Match.com had no previous record, just like the “alleged” theatre murderer, and his goal clearly was to kill her.  They showed pictures of her stabbed head from her hospital bed.  He went to prison and ended up killing himself in prison.

So there are two lessons here:  background checks don’t clear someone.  Perhaps they just haven’t been caught yet!  You can’t be a serial whatever unless you haven’t been caught.  So services that charge you extra for background checks are worthless and it’s money thrown away.  Also if someone is using an alias their background check will come up clean.

Additionally, several known felons have had profiles on Match.com such as Amy Fisher who tried to kill her lover’s wife, the “alleged” theatre killer, Dateline NBC had a story about another guy a woman met on Match.com.  Just to name few who I can remember but I’ve heard of others.  Obviously this is not just a Match.com issue.  ANY Internet dating site is a perfect hiding place for felons as people lie on those all the time.  Even people without records who are “normal” individuals but are crazy are hiding things on those sites.  So BE CAREFUL when trying to save money by going on Internet dating sites.  Is your life or your well-being worth saving a few dollars?

As a Professional Denver Matchmaker I work from my home office and in 25 years have never had an issue.  But I am adept at screening people over the phone and if someone even sounds a little off (whether male or female) I will not accept them as a client.  So I, myself, am your first line of defense both for myself and my clients.

March 21, 2014

Watching another episode of Dateline NBC where a couple had separated and the wife went on Match.com, met a school superintendent and had a friendship with him.  Then she reconciled with her husband, he saw some emails to this superintendent and went out and killed him!  The Internet dating sites are very dangerous…if nothing has happened yet, consider yourself lucky and stop using them.

SNOW SKI OR FORGET IT…Really?

Of course living in Denver for 33 years I realize and know that there are a majority of Denverites who ski, moved here for that reason and are obsessed with it.  But Colorado has varied weather all year round which attributes to residents loving all sorts of activities.  And we even have very warm summers regularly.

So when a new client joins Bon Jour Matchmaking Service and we go through a 5 page questionnaire filled with information on background, education, compatibility preferences, etc. and that new client will ONLY view profiles of people who ski…do I need to say more about why they are still single?  This is why according to 5280 Magazine it is so hard to date in Denver.  I can tell you that people who come in here focused on ONE criteria to the exception of all else are not the successful ones who reach their ultimate goal.  They may meet people who fit that but there is so much more to a marriage or partnership than one aspect, especially as a couple ages.

Especially people who are more “mature” in age.  With friends and clients I’ve seen time and time again where someone was an avid skier and exactly because of that ended up blowing out their knee(s) or some other permanent injury and can no longer ski.  So if your entire criteria, for the most part, is based on do they ski or do they climb fourteeners or whatever hobby you are obsessed with without considering many more important, deeper factors/personality traits, i.e. loyalty, kindness, consideration, honesty, compatibility in other more in-depth areas, this is not a relationship that is going to last.  And I am in the business of facilitating unions to go the distance.

REMEMBER:  Hobbies and interests can be cultivated.  Morals and values are the basis of a strong, long lasting relationship and will take it the long haul.  Also, you can’t ski here in the summer, so then what?  Don’t sell Colorado short, there are tons of things to do here besides ski.

DENVER MATCHMAKER’S SINGLES ARE REALISTIC WHEN LOOKING FOR LOVE

626 Denver singles have tied the knot through Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.  Thousands of professional Denver singles have tried Bon Jour since 1989 and there has developed a clear profile of the clients who marry.  There are two important components: patience and realism.  It’s that simple.

A client who is most apt to find a mate is one who has reasonable and realistic expectations and criteria.  Who is not looking to play a numbers game, hoping for the best.  But takes their time with Michele the Matchmaker choosing the most compatible and appealing matches.  Someone who dates within their age range, not 15-20 years younger.  Someone who is not looking for a “model” or perfection.   A mature client who wants to relate to their partner on all levels, not looking for a cougar set-up or sugar daddy scenario.

Clients who are realistic about themselves and what they have to offer have the most successful experience.  Who realize that this match will probably and hopefully be their last.  The person you choose for your latter years is often not the person you would choose in your 20’s or 30’s.  Your criteria shifts and should shift with maturity.  No gold diggers here or older men looking for arm candy.  This is not the service for those agendas!

When deciding to hire a professional Matchmaker after you’ve tried the Internet dating sites, social groups, party groups, franchise dating services, etc. you should also decide that the way you are going to select potential mates will be different.  If you go about selecting people in the same way you always have, then choosing to work with a matchmaker is not going to make any difference.  Different venue, same “MO”.  If you are going to approach the goal trusting a matchmaker, you should go about the process differently than you have been.  THEN you may find the success you seek.  Doesn’t that make sense to you?

The clients who marry are fit, well educated, well rounded people who are Denver singles who genuinely offer themselves with an open mind and an open heart and one of the most important qualities…patience.  Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is not a dating service but an old fashioned matchmaking service.

ANOTHER SERVICE SOLICITING MY EXPERTISE AND YOUR MONEY

I received the e-mail below today.  After looking at their site it is clear it was a form letter and they didn’t even bother to read my website or they would not have solicited me.  If you are moving to Denver or anywhere for that matter, there is a thing called the Internet where you can look for local matchmakers, i.e., Google, Bing or Yahoo search (or wherever) Denver Matchmakers.  There is no need to pay two services when you can find it yourself!  This is not how I operate and you should ask LOTS of questions before handing money over to them:

 “My name is Emily Hellman and I am the founder, owner, and head matchmaker at Caliber Match. I’m really trying to get to know other matchmakers in the industry and wanted to introduce myself.

Caliber Match is a national matchmaking firm that also offers dating and relationship coaching. We’re headquartered in Arizona, but because I’m able to take on clients from anywhere in the US (and some regions of Canada), I’d like to connect with you. There are times that I have potential clients come to me because we’re national, but they really want that personal, face-to-face relationship with their matchmaker or coach. I’d love to be able to refer you potential clients that want that face-to-face relationship (assuming you take referrals). On the reverse, I’d love to be a reference point for you to refer potential clients that come to you that you’re not able to take on because of their location (or budget, goals, etc.). I pay a minimum of 20% for all referrals.

I’d also like to know if you’d be willing to work together on matches. I pay a referral fee for matches that fit my clients as well. I also have an amazing (free) singles’ member base with quality singles across the country, so if you’re ever looking for matches for your clients and you need another resource, let me know what you’re looking for and I’ll see if I have any potential matches for you!!

I know you’re busy, but if you have time I’d love to chat for even just 10-15 minutes. You can always reach me through my email or by leaving a message on my cell phone (406-XX2-XXXX).

Looking forward to hearing back from you, and have a wonderful day!!

Lots of Love,

Emily”

This is the third solicitation I’ve received from out-of-state matchmaking services trying to get clients from me or with me or use my clientele this year.  I do not get a good feeling about these types of services.  They either say or imply they are discriminating with their matches but clearly they are not as they don’t know any of my clients or me.  Why would you pay two services when you can find a service yourself and only need one?

Just two days ago I received an email from a dentist in Oklahoma who used a “national matchmaking firm” who is trying to get his credit card company to stop payment on his $4,000 fee because this company (which is referred to in another Post in this Blog) misrepresented themselves and their clients to him.

 

IS THIS YOU? THEN YOU ARE A GOOD PROSPECT FOR BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

I do not decide exclusively upon my own criteria whether we should work together.  Primarily that has been decided by my current clients who have been very specific as to their preferences and criteria…just like you would be if you were a client.  Bon Jour is the ONLY Denver matchmaking service that does not have any reviews stating the client was set up with people who did not fit their specified criteria.  So, don’t take it personally and don’t blame the messenger (me) if I feel that we shouldn’t work together.  Rather be grateful that I told you the truth and did not scam you out of your money!

Just to try and make things simpler, following is a list of traits that will tell you if you and Bon Jour Matchmaking Service are a good match which include both my perameters and my clients’ criteria:

  1. You have read to some extent through this website;
  2. You understand the philosophy of Bon Jour as a matchmaking service NOT a dating service;
  3. You perceive my clients as a clientele NOT a database;
  4. Your background check is clean;
  5. Female clients prefer men who are 5’7″ or taller without shoes and weight should be proportionate to height;
  6. Male clients prefer women who are no more than a size 10;
  7. My female clients are well educated and prefer men who are equally educated;
  8. None of my clients will date smokers;
  9. None of my clients will consider someone who is separated;
  10. None of my clients will consider someone with sleeve or full body tattoos;
  11. You are NOT obsessed with how many people I have for you to meet, because once I hear your preferences that number will surely drop;
  12. You are looking to meet age appropriate matches NOT people much younger who don’t want to meet people in your age range;
  13. You are a woman between 30 and 65; You are a man between 35 and 65 at this time December, 2025;
  14. You understand that meeting a bunch of people who do not fit your preferences and criteria is not what I do here.  (For example: packages of dates for a finite period of time which is what other local services do);
  15. You understand that you are only matched with people both who fit your preferences and you fit theirs. YOU make the final decision on who you meet;
  16. You are willing to listen to and perhaps follow my coaching;
  17. You may meet as many people as you feel are an appropriate match, however the goal is to be discerning enough that you meet the “right” one on your first or second match…regardless of how long that may take;
  18. Your goal is to meet the RIGHT person NOT a bunch of the wrong people and that may take time;
  19. You understand that the perfect person may not be on file the exact day you interview;
  20. You understand that this is not a race.  We are looking for the “right” person and that may take time thus the open-ended contract.  You are in the service until you reach your goal.

If you feel that this describes you then call me for your FREE phone consultation!  No appointment necessary for that.  If you genuinely feel this is a numbers game, this is NOT the right service for you.  I am a Matchmaker with all that implies.

DENVER MEN, DO YOU LOOK LIKE THIS?

Every day I receive calls at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service from single Denver men who exclaim they want beautiful, fit women to meet.  My question to you is do you look like Pierce Brosnan, Clive Owens or Hugh Jackman?  These are Hollywood’s sexiest men and not only because they are soooooo handsome but even more so because of who they’ve chosen to spend their lives with.  If you don’t look like any of these types of men, maybe you need to reassess the “beautiful model type” you are searching for.

These are long married and happy couples.  Not like the ones choosing only models who play musical wives.  And have you noticed, you don’t hear about these men cheating on their wives like with men who were married to beautiful women like Halle Barry, Sandra Bullock, Tiger Woods’ ex-wife or Jennifer Aniston and yes, even Christie Brinkley, etc.   Which are you?????

If You Could Build a Denver Matchmaking Service What Would You Include?

(Click on the blue print to go to post or page)

Would you want as long as it takes to find the right person?  Bon Jour Matchmaking has an open-ended contract.

Would you want to see photos of potential matches?  Every profile in Bon Jour has 6 pictures of each client including head shots and full length shots.

Would you want to meet as many or few people as you felt you were attracted to?  You may meet however many people you feel are a good match in Bon Jour.

Would you want to see extensive profiles filled with information?  Every Bon Jour client has a 6 page questionnaire.

Would you want a Denver matchmaker with many years of experience?  Michele Fields has been professionally matchmaking since 1989!

Would you want to be able to view profiles and pictures of potential matches?  Bon Jour Matchmaking’s structure is all about sharing tons of information about each client.

Would you want to be interviewed in a public place or a private office?  Bon Jour is located in a private office so that you may share very personal information and feelings with your matchmaker.

Would you want a fair investment in this service?  Rather than charge what Michele thinks you can pay, the totality of your situation directs what your investment will be.  Meaning…how much does Michele think she can do for you within your preferences, age range, location, etc.

Would you want to feel out the matchmaker prior to deciding to join the service for as long as that takes?  FREE telephone consultations are invited just for that purpose.

How about that…it’s already here!  Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, est. 1989