ARE YOU READY TO WORK WITH THIS MATCHMAKER?

Below you will see an e-mail I received this morning.  The reason I am explaining this is because I must speak with you to answer questions like this person is asking in his e-mail.  I suspect most singles think that I start evaluating them once they are in front of me interviewing, however I start to evaluate whether we would work well together right from your first contact.  I am what you want, a hands-on “old fashioned”  Matchmaker…I may often contact you by phone as well as e-mail.  So if you are looking for a service that is not in communication or only works through technical means, this would not be that.

Unlike most Denver matchmaking services I don’t require you to meet with me to look you over so I can evaluate how much to charge you.  BUT to answer the questions below I have to at least speak with you.

>“I reviewed your website and want to know how much your service is. I understand you work different than other matchmakers and I would pay per match.
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>How much is the initial fee and how much per match? I am a professional 38 year old male.
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>Also, how big is your database? I am looking for women ages 32 to approximately 44. Of course, I already know its not a numbers game but want to know currently how many women fit in my age range.
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>I am not interested in a phone call at this time,”

Because I am a Matchmaker I do not refer to my clients as a “database”, they are clients.  A real Matchmaker cannot pull a number out of the air and say that is my fee.  I do not have a flat fee with one limited time exception. There are specific questions I need to ask you directly as well as make sure you are a suitable fit for the service. There are requirements on my Behavioral Agreement that a client agrees to follow and I can perceive both from the tone of the e-mail and the questions this may not be the right service for this person.  So to answer one general question, “Do you accept everyone in your service?” the answer is NO.

Telling me that you want to meet women 32-44 only tells me the age. There are 6 pages of questions to ask.  Although the telephone consultation may be lengthy, I cannot ask 6 pages over the phone but to quote how many people someone will view, I have no idea until I interview you.  You may have several preferences that will either include or exclude people which I will not know until we meet and go through both the interviewing process and viewing profiles.

But the first step is definitely a phone call. The call is merely informational, NOT A SALES CALL.  To write me an e-mail like above is impossible for me to answer.  If you have lots of questions it’s best to speak with me directly.  He’s right about one thing, I am different than the other services!

LISTEN TO YOUR MATCHMAKER!

To Capture The Most Interest From The Opposite Sex

If you are working with a genuine, professional Matchmaker she will have interviewed ALL of her clients personally.  In which case she will know their preferences in most areas and be able to guide you through the first introduction with them as well as ongoing in the relationship.

Many years ago, in about 1996, I had a male client who was what you might call a “nerd” or “geek”.  Highly intelligent and nice, however wore aviator glasses, had a bowl haircut and had a scruffy beard (you know the kind that men grow but shouldn’t).  He selected 5 women that he wanted to meet.  When presented with his profile all of them declined mainly because of a lack of attraction to his appearance.  Yes, women also need to have that attraction at first sight.  Anyway, I suggested to him that he go get a descent haircut, update his glasses and shave off the beard.  I promised him that I would run his profile by the same 5 women again after he accomplished this.

To his credit he went out and did all that I asked of him.  We took new pictures and I presented his profile to the same 5 women.  And guess what?  3 of the 5 said YES.  They didn’t even realize it was the same guy!  So I’m telling you, if you take the time and investment to work with a REAL  Matchmaker than you should also listen to her/him.

Conversely I currently have a gentleman who had a beard when he signed up but in a short period of time shaved it down to a mustache.  Every woman who has viewed his profile has said NO because of the facial hair, but particularly with the mustache.  So I’ve given him their feedback repeatedly and strongly suggested that he shave the mustache.  Well he dug in his heels and wouldn’t do it.  Finally I said it appears you’ve chosen your mustache over meeting someone.  And guess what?  He finally wrote that he’s shaved the mustache!  So once I have his new pictures I will run his profile past the same women and see if there are any takers.

On my questionnaire I specifically ask questions about height, hair, facial hair, make-up, body build, etc.  So I KNOW what my clients prefer.  With no exceptions 100% of the women prefer a clean shaven man.  I don’t make the news, I just report it.  So with 24 years of matchmaking under my belt and having interviewed EVERY client that’s the scoop.  LISTEN TO YOUR MATCHMAKER.

“READY FOR LOVE” INSPIRES SINGLE DENVER MEN TO JOIN BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

Since the show “Ready For Love” started I’ve had a spike in calls from single Denver men interested in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.  A couple of the men explained that they looked up Kelleher International since one of the Matchmakers on the show is Kelleher and they had so many bad reviews he wouldn’t consider them.  Another, also speaking of Kelleher, said that he had a close friend who worked for them briefly and according to his friend they stick it to the men for thousands of dollars and just throw women at them not at all matching them up for thousands of dollars.

So another episode aired last night and one thing I have in common with the Matchmakers is that even when I give advice to certain clients that I know will serve them well they have not taken it.  Thus undermining a potentially successful relationship.  Remember, I know both sides of the match and am privy to the thoughts and reactions of each side.  Who is in a better position to direct and suggest to you then I?  That is the point of interviewing and sustaining a personal relationship with each and every client and having one Matchmaker who knows all of her clients.

Services that have multiple “matchmakers” working on commission have them coming and going.  None of them really know the clients and in most cases have never even met most of them.  You may start with one “matchmaker” and get switched over during the course of your limited contract to someone who knows nothing about you or the other clients.

Don’t underestimate the value of a service where the Owner/Matchmaker (myself) has a relationship with every single client and has an open-ended contract so that when the right match comes in, you are here to meet them!

ANOTHER EPISODE OF “READY FOR LOVE” FROM MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER

AS THE REALITY TV DATING TURNS…(click on the light pink print to go to other posts)

This week the 3 Matchmakers selected women again for the 2 new guys.  One of the Matchmakers, Kelleher, decided to turn this into a real soap opera by having one guy’s ex-girlfriend there as one of the matches.  That has created tension and confusion both for the other girls and the guy.  Interesting about Kelleher, she mentioned that she has been matchmaking for 17 years.  But her website says she started in around 1986…interesting.

This week the Matchmakers gave some good advice to each contestant which personal characteristics to emphasize and which to play down.  I can see that I would fit well in the show as this is exactly how I proceed with my clientele.  They have thrown in a male Matchmaker to get the prospective of the men more directly.  So far the results are not that much different than the other two.  The bottom line is that the guy eliminates one woman each week that he doesn’t feel that “thing” with or that he doesn’t feel it as much as with the others.

It is a smaller version of “The Bachelor” with more bachelors being set up and fewer women.  But if you watch you may gather some insight into how males and females think.  Albeit this type of venue may totally skew one’s normal thinking.  One of the girls who was eliminated last night never should have gone on a show with this format.  She repeatedly said from beginning to end that she could not get used to it and it was affecting how she was acting.  Then WHY did she go on it?  It’s like “The Bachelor” where the women argue and get petty and people are eliminated.

I watch these programs as I consider it my “homework”.  I hope to pick up insights into how each sex thinks, what makes them select or eliminate people, in this show add to my own advice to my clients, etc.  As a Professional Matchmaker, like any other profession, I stay current and educated about my vocation so as to better serve my clients.

READY FOR LOVE…IN DENVER???

New Show Premiered Last Night

If you are single and looking for love but have not invested in working with a local Matchmaker you may be missing the boat.  The show clearly displayed the value of a good Matchmaker.  A Professional will tell you the truth, guide you knowing all of her clients and encourage you when you make a misstep.  In my case I even get in the middle of the match to clarify things that may have been misunderstood and/or reign clients in when they have clearly jumped to wrong conclusions.  A professional Matchmaker will give you advice based on what she knows about clients you’ve chosen to meet, what they like, what they don’t like.  Their sensitivities and preferences to give you the best outcome.

My goal is not only to find the right match but once they are found not let small misunderstandings undermine its success.  Take an hour next week and watch this show on Channel 9 (don’t know the time) and not only will you pick up some pointers but you may also see the benefits of a professional Matchmaker assisting you in such a personal lifetime endeavor.

The Matchmakers featured charge upwards of $10,000 up to six figures which, although life changing, I feel is beyond reason.  Selecting a partner for life is critical in your future children and happiness, however in general, Denver Matchmakers are more reasonable in their fees than that, except for one.

There is no shame or embarrassment in 2013 hiring a Professional Matchmaker.  You hire financial advisors, nutritionists, health advisors, life coaches, people who tell you your colors and personal shoppers…so investing in a Matchmaker is just another counselor.  There are so many that obviously there is a need for this specialized service and if you meet the love of your life who cares that it was through a professional.  Just maybe people will view you as pretty darn smart to have chosen to invest and collaborate culminating in achieving your love goals while they are still fishing around the Internet dating services and going to singles’ parties with no results.  Meanwhile you are planning your future…who’s the smart one!

HOW TO SUCCEED WITH LOCAL DENVER MATCHMAKERS

One Little Suggestion Can Help You Succeed

In the 33+ years I’ve been matchmaking the one component that people who meet a mate possess is….they don’t raise their standards just because they are in a service.  All of the Bon Jour Matchmaking Service clients who married (626 people) were realistic in their expectations and chose matches that they would choose anywhere else outside of the service had they had the good fortune to meet them.

When you join a local service, you are exposed to singles who you would never have met otherwise.  They may travel a lot or live in communities you never visit.  They may be involved in some activities slightly different than yours, so you don’t meet through those.  Take advantage of the fact that but for Bon Jour (or any local service) your paths would never have crossed.

Over the years I’ve seen clients turn down perfectly appropriate profiles of clients in the service when outside of the confines of Bon Jour I’ve seen them with people who don’t come close to their “standards” inside.  Just because you are investing in a professional to assist you doesn’t mean you should close yourself off to people that you might otherwise have met.

When you go to the supermarket, the post office, the doctor, work, a restaurant or walk in the park clients are more open to people who do not necessarily meet their high standards when hearing or viewing profiles.  Why would you close yourself off inside of a service when you are open outside?  That doesn’t make sense.  You are shooting yourself in the foot if that is the way you approach your time in local services.

Unfortunately, I’m not a fairy godmother and this is not Burger King (have it your way) where you place an order and that exact combination of ingredients pops out.  Yes, I wish I was but the best I can do is provide tons of information, lots of photos, my input and my upscale clientele for your perusal.  Also, when I am out and about, I always scan venues for singles who would fit for each of my clients and approach those singles to join Bon Jour.  The last woman I approached in a Pilates class became engaged in 2 months to the first man she met through Bon Jour and they are now married.  So, I am proactive when living life to encourage singles who fit for my clients to consider the service, as well as social media and referrals.

The bottom line is…be open as much as a client inside of a service as you are when you are living your life and you may get the results you want much faster.

WHY CHOOSE BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

People constantly ask me whether matchmaking is lucrative and how much money I make. They seem to want to judge this vocation by monetary success rather than what the basis of my chosen vocation is which is how many people working with me have reached their life goal of finding a mate. The reason I don’t charge the types of fees other “matchmakers” charge is because that is not what it is about for me. The success of my clients is the yard stick with which I measure my success! NOT everything is about money…this is not my “job”, it is my calling which has little to do with the superficiality of wealth accumulation. But rather the satisfaction of achieving an illusive life dream for my fellow human beings.

NOTE:  If your mentality is that it’s a numbers game and you wish to meet someone every week…this is NOT the service for you.  This is a MATCHMAKING service NOT a dating service.  It is VERY specific in introducing you ONLY to people who fit your criteria and preferences, and of course, you fit theirs.  THAT is why it is so successful!

Starting with some demographics and statistics Denver is comprised of 50.4% men and 49.6% women.  Surprised?  Of that population (according to the Denver Demographics and Statistics Bureau) 25.3% have never married, 13.2% are divorced and 9.3% are widowed.  So 47.8% of the Front Range population is comprised of singles in those three categories.

It is no wonder why dating services and matchmakers have popped up here like cockroaches licking their chops for a slice of the proverbial pie.  Bon Jour Matchmaking Service was created in 1989.  What I did was, as a single myself, looked at another service at the time and structured Bon Jour to be the total opposite.  Meaning…eliminate as much overhead as possible, be the sole Matchmaker who has interviewed every client, have current photos with extensive profiles, offer an open-ended contract and charge a reasonable fee.  That is how Bon Jour has stayed for the past 33+ years.  There have been tweaks to the questionnaire, specials, the way I share client photos and fee structure. But other than those updates there is always one Matchmaker who interviews and knows all of the clients, low overhead, straight Matchmaking through collaboration between Client and Matchmaker.  There have been more than 300 marriages and one new engagement to either the first or second person those clients met.  Those 300+ marriages equate to 600+ Front Range singles who have found their mate!

There has always been and will always be an open-ended contract for every client keeping in mind that timing and fate play a major role in this endeavor.  Fees are geared towards your particular situation taking into consideration your location, age and the age range you wish to date.  A one-time filing fee that is good for the duration of the time you are in the service.  Coaching during the interview and before and after introductions based on mutual feedback as well as hours that fit anyone’s schedule.  Bon Jour is open 7 days a week from 9am to 7pm and all holidays.  Your calls are always returned within 2-5 hours (unless there is an emergency situation and I am unable).  One of the points that seems to turn up in reviews of other Denver services is that the owner and/or matchmakers working with clients don’t return their calls or respond to their e-mails.  There is a major frustration with that in other local services.  Also, that they do not pay attention to the clients’ criteria making the huge investment in those services for nothing.

So, for all of the above reasons Bon Jour Matchmaking Service IS the wisest choice in the Front Range for matchmaking.  And BTW I have a percentage of clients who are not necessarily interested in marriage.  They want a lifelong companion whether it be with or without marriage so you needn’t feel that you must want marriage to consider a Matchmaker.

“Michele, You’re Not Much of a Salesman”, said a Caller to Bon Jour Matchmaking Service

A few weeks ago a gentleman called asking about my matchmaking services.  As I always do I first asked whether he had any questions from the website that he’d read, then I asked whether he had used any local services prior to this.  He went on and on about a certain local matchmaking service and how she, according to him, doesn’t know how to do business.  My reply was, “She knows exactly what she’s doing…”.

I proceeded to clarify the differences between our two services as well as explain how Bon Jour works.  His response was the above, “you’re not much of a salesman.”  I replied, I’m not a salesman, I’m a Matchmaker!  When you call me after you’ve viewed my website or after someone referred you the call is an informational call,  NOT a sales call.  We exchange information, ask each other questions and evaluate whether we are a good fit.  I never treat a phone call as a heavy sales call or opportunity.

After I’ve fully explained how the service works and my philosophy the caller has to understand it, accept the structure and feel comfortable that I have their best interest in mind and this is the right avenue for them.  There is no sales pitch which this caller did not understand due to his past experiences.  Yes, I am a Matchmaker, not a salesman, not a magician and not Burger King where you place your order and the “perfect” result pops out.  I work with an extraordinarily high quality clientele and if you work with me in a realistic manner than you get the results you are seeking.

So, don’t be hesitant to phone me to ask questions fearing you will receive some heavy sales pitch like you may have received with other local services.  I have heard that several times now from people who had the courage to overcome their trepidation and call me.  In almost every way I am completely unique from any service you’ve previously used or spoken with, that I can promise you!  303-756-8106

IT’S 2023…WHY IS BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE STILL “OLD-FASHIONED”?

Over these many years since the creation of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service established in 1989 many well-meaning people have suggested that I go more high-tech.  The reason I have resisted is because I genuinely feel that there are some endeavors that are and should stay “old-fashioned”.  Of course I have incorporated aspects of current high-tech as I am writing a Post for my Blog on my website to post on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter.  Some portion of my communication with clients is by e-mail and I send pictures of prospective matches through that venue.  But when it comes to interviewing clients to really get to know them there is nothing that takes the place of looking someone in the eye and asking follow-up questions.  Talking on the phone rather than always e-mailing or IM’ing to nurture a relationship between client and Matchmaker.

There is a trend amongst Denver Matchmakers to interview clients in public forums i.e., coffee shops which I feel is inappropriate considering the personal nature of the questions that are, or should be, asked.  Coffee shops are noisy and bustling with activity and even in casual conversation you have to yell to your friend to drown out the music, chatter and grinding of coffee beans.  I fail to understand why anyone who is paying a large sum of money, or really any money, would accept being interviewed in a public place, especially such a noisy one where everyone can hear your personal business.  Consequently I only interview clients in the privacy of my office where they are free to tell me what they REALLY think and feel without the concern of others hearing.  I can get the whole story and not misinterpret something they said because I couldn’t hear them over the noise.

Another suggestion that has been made is that I put my clients’ photos online on my website and charge people to view them.  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  For many reasons:  there are already too many online dating services; my clients are, in some cases, high-profile individuals in the Denver community and value their privacy; I do not want people selecting each other JUST based on appearance; and that is a “high-tech” approach that I am not willing to do.  Matches are selected through an abundance of information as well as several current photos at the time of the first interview in my office.  It is a collaborative effort between client and Matchmaker so that no information is misinterpreted and if there are questions that have not been addressed on the profile they can ask me directly.  Once a client is on file I will phone them and read them the profile of someone new who selected them, again to clarify any info they may misinterpret and then e-mail them photos.

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has been, is and always will be an “old-fashioned” service which appeals to more and more singles in this highly technical, impersonal world we now live in.

 

Marry the First or Second Match?

What does that mean?

Throughout the 36+ year history of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, the majority of the 300+ couples who married sealed the deal with either their first or second introduction.  NO that doesn’t mean you HAVE to marry the first or second person you meet.  My goal is to be so discriminating in matching people who fit each other’s preferences and criteria that regardless of how long it takes for those matches to present themselves they will be so spot on that they culminate in marriage.

I am writing this post to clarify this statement in that it has been misinterpreted a couple of times.  There is no pressure or requirement to marry the first or second person you meet.  This is merely an observation from over a quarter of a century of matchmaking in Denver.

A matchmaking service is not a dating service.  A matchmaker, by definition, should work hand-in-hand with each client to zero in on the most important components for that individual so as to match them appropriately with a person who fits as many preferences as possible and who has that spark when they look at each other.  Ah chemistry, it’s a curious and wondrous intangible thing.  To feel whether a match has that as well as fits your priorities you must be presented with enough information to assess it.

Every client views a 6 page questionnaire along with a minimum of 6 current photos of potential matches to see, feel and review whether this person gives you that “feeling”.  When you work with a real Matchmaker you are paying to view all of this information so that you can decide together whether this is someone who fits for you.  How else could there have been 300+ marriages born from Bon Jour Matchmaking.

If this one-on-one collaboration feels right for you it is worth reading through this website and chatting with me to see if we are a good fit to work together to create the future you desire.   303-756-8106