WHO IS MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER FIELDS?

Born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware I moved to Denver in 1981. I had never been here, did not know anyone here and did not have a job. Just showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed.

From 25 to 33 I had a variety of jobs but primarily was a legal secretary. Excited to be in this big city with so many options and people, I dated veraciously which in hindsight may have been my mistake. After 8 marriage proposals I never really met the “right” one for me…so I know that the “numbers game” is just that…a game not worth playing.

As a lifelong insomniac I realized that working specific hours was making it worse so decided to start my own business with my own hours. The only Denver matchmaking service then was GE and as a single myself I looked at their structure and decided to do the total opposite thus creating my niche which has flourished since 1989!

During all this dating and working I volunteered as a rape crisis counselor for RAAP, a counselor for Safehouse for Battered Women and a bereavement counselor for a hospice. I also was involved in fundraising through golf tournaments such as the NFL Alumni Association and the Restaurant Association. I also volunteered at Skyview Retirement Home for 6 years specifically for those who had no family support. Was even included in one of their weddings!

I have a PhD. in dating and relationships from 40 years of doing so unlike someone who has been married for years and doesn’t know the landscape or the current dating apps and internet dating sites. I can totally relate to the frustrations, disappointments, excitement, anticipation and all that goes with trying to find your life partner. Thus allowing me to counsel, console and hand hold my clients during this process. Also to make sure that each match has the best chance by clarifying, correcting and sharing communication between clients so this delicate match has every chance of succeeding.

Here’s your matchmaker from 1989 to 2021…

Michele 'The Matchmaker' Portrait

DIRECT AND HONEST or CHARISMATIC AND UNTRUSTWORTHY

Which Do You Prefer?

Are you the type of person who falls for charm and charisma and lives to regret it?  Those charismatic charmers are often called scammers.  I have a relative who is very, very charismatic, however once he’s “got” you he’s like a snake and will bite you the minute you are off guard. Yes, they are wonderful to chat with but beware of doing business with them or getting romantically involved.

When you are doing business and making a financial investment whether it be with a financial advisor or a personal Matchmaker, is it more important to you that they have a “good bedside manner” even if they are not trustworthy?  There are many business owners like that in all categories of business who have left a trail of very pissed off people behind them.  In the long run the truth is the most important component regardless of the type of business.  Charisma only goes so far and in the long run cannot hide that you’ve been “taken”. Denver matchmaking services are notorious for this.

So, my personal preference is honesty, however that is delivered.  Preferably if it is delivered with tact, that would be the best scenario, but the two aren’t always compatible.  The recipient of the truth may not take it well no matter how it’s delivered if they don’t like the information.  After 35 years of working closely with various personality types I know “you can’t please all the people all the time”.  But I’d rather be known for being direct and honest representing Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, than someone who is charming but can’t be trusted.

Because of my upbringing back East (although I’ve been in Denver for 43 years) you will notice the directness and perceive the honesty.  Believe it or not I have mellowed in the 43 years…you can take the girl out of the east but you can’t completely take the east out of the girl.  Most people living in Denver are from other states where they were raised and have brought that upbringing with them.  That’s one of the things that makes Denver cosmopolitan and diverse!

Everyone has a choice about how they wish to appear to others.  The length of time I’ve been matchmaking in Denver makes me an authority on my clients and how things work in my service. After all, I’ve created Bon Jour Matchmaking based on the structures of other services that I found to be not client friendly.  It also gives me insight into what does not work with Denver matchmaking services.  I have complete confidence in my approach which may be interpreted as cool or bottom line.  My choice has been and will continue to be direct and honest about the service, the clients and myself.  That does not appeal to everyone, but I feel if I’m asking you to entrust both with your heart and your investment in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, you deserve the truth and nothing but the truth.  How else can you be successful in this endeavor?  We have to be honest with each other.  A lack of honesty is often what is missing in dating and that’s why potential relationships fail.  I hope to bridge the gaps that can come up, especially early in a relationship.

Denver Dating and Denver Matchmaking Services’ Sales Tactics

If you call the company and ask a lot of questions that they will not answer on the phone move on! If you ask their fees and they will not quote them over the phone move on!  If they are insistent that you come into their office or meet them in a coffee shop or hotel without giving you much information by phone, hang up! Any service should be willing to answer your questions over the telephone. If they do coerce you to meet with them, they will use a hard sell to capture you.  It is reasonable that there are certain questions that you may ask that cannot be answered until you’ve been interviewed. I’ve also heard of services showing fake profiles to capture your business but once you are a client suddenly those people are not available.  There is a franchise matchmaking service who is notorious for that according to clients who have used them.

If they interview you in a coffee shop or at a hotel rather than an office setting, hang up.  Especially if the fee is $2,000 or more but they want you to meet in a public forum, what’s up with that???  Presumably you don’t want your personal business exposed in Starbucks or any other public forum where others can hear.  It’s not like you can whisper in that environment, with the grounding of beans, talking and music, you are practically yelling at each other…so all your info is out there for everyone to hear!  Also, with so much noise it is possible for them to misinterpret something you’ve said because they couldn’t hear you…but everyone sitting around you may hear you.

Companies who have several owners, “matchmakers” or “sales associates” can be a red flag.  One may do the initial interview, another may set you up, another may call you back.  Often you are not working with the same person all through your experience.  It is important that all employees and owners know ALL of the clients or how else can they really match you based on your common preferences?  That also means there are a lot of people sharing the income which may make the fees higher.  I just spoke with a woman who was quoted a $3500 fee for 3 introductions in 3 months!  That’s almost $1166 per introduction, she’s just getting your money upfront.  And what if she doesn’t match you with the appropriate 3 guys?  Apparently that local service will then drop a small percentage off of the $3500 to sign you again for another 3 intros in 3 months.  That’s just plain unreasonable and additionally she was quoted that fee where?  Yes, they met in a Starbucks!

Any dating service or matchmaking service that does not show you profiles with pictures should really be avoided.  Don’t let them tell you that it is too superficial to view photos.  There needs to be an attraction both physically and in-depth with a person you are meeting.  That is also one of the main things you are paying for when you hire a service.  To see lots of information on each client and current photos.  DO NOT join a service that doesn’t offer profiles to view.

On the other hand, Speed Dating is totally superficial.   You might as well go to a bar for FREE and just look around and see who you are attracted to and talk to them for more than 5 or 7 minutes.  I have never heard of anyone meeting their mate through that Speed Dating and I’ve been matchmaking for 33 years!

Take your time and think through what each service tells you and what is really reasonable before joining a service.  Many singles are disappointed after using various local services.  But the services don’t lie about their fees or structures and if you choose them anyway with high fees, no profiles, no office, lots of “matchmakers” or sales associates then you’ve gotten what you bought into.  Be a good consumer!

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OMG LOOK WHAT DENVER MATCHMAKERS ARE CHARGING!

This information was taken directly from the VIDA website in 2020 (Those fees have probably increased since this posting):

THE DENVER DATING COMPANY:https://kdvr.com/news/local/denver-singles-site-had-barely-any-women-on-it-lawsuit-claims/embed/#?secret=MXVyUZsDwo

Just received a call from a woman who went in to do a consultation with them. She expressed that they were disorganized and lied about a number of things such as length of time in business stating they’ve been in business 22 years. So I went on the BBB site and they have an F rating and have only been in business ONE YEAR! Also on the BBB they listed the owner as Mrs. Owner so they won’t disclose who owns and operates that service. I’m surprised the BBB accepted that! DO NOT GIVE THIS COMPANY YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER (OR ANY COMPANY). THEY DO NOT NEED IT TO DO A BACKGROUND CHECK!!!

KRIS KENNY CONNECTIONS:

Around $3,500 for 6 months, $8,400 for 12 months, and a “VIP” 1-year membership starts at $15,000. Clients typically get a minimum of 1 match per month.

KELLEHER INTERNATIONAL:

Starts around $25,000 and can go higher than $150,000. Cost depends on the number of cities you’d like matchmakers to include in the search, as well as a few other factors. No matter which membership package you choose, you’ll get 13 months worth of search time, and a full year’s worth of pause time.

LUMA:

Having a matchmaker scout for highly compatible singles requires a premium membership, which starts around $5,000. Membership prices can top out north of $50,000, depending on the level of service you’d like.

CALIBER MATCH:

Being listed in the pool of Denver singles is free, but it’s a passive membership – you’ll only be matched when you fit someone else’s criteria. If you want a matchmaker to look for your ideal partner, you’ll need to pay for a Premier membership.

Paid memberships start around $8,500 for 6 months, and $15,000 for 12 months of matchmaking services.

VIDA SELECT:

Clients pay for matchmaking services by the month, rather than committing to a long-term contract. Monthly packages run between $495 and $1,695.

Compiled from VIDA Select.

BON JOUR MATCHMAKING SERVICE: NOT LISTED ON VIDA

ONE-TIME investment fee ranging from $4500-$5500 with an open-ended contract for all clients. Per introduction fee of $35 on both sides of the introduction. What am I paying for at Bon Jour? 34 years of Denver matchmaking success with more than 300 marriages!

TAWKIFY: A man called me and said he paid them $9,000 for one year. This is as of 2023.

NOT LISTED ON VIDA: THE SOCIAL: MODERN MATCHMAKING:

There’s a new service in town who runs the same way as all the other services. No profiles, no pictures, no experience and a very young and new owner charging $10,000 to $12,000 per contract according to a recent new client of mine! 

The owner of this service let me know she uses a company to delete her negative reviews. Did you know there are services that do that?

This is also another local service getting YOUR matches from other matchmakers without photos, profiles or personal interviews or your knowledge due to a lack of clientele. How does the dating part work? In a review of this service someone wrote: she sends a text to both of us saying meet at this location at this time. We don’t get pictures before the date or any information.

In addition, my new client shared that the guy working for this owner hit on her during what was supposed to be her zoom interview. She met him for lunch and now he’s constantly texting and calling her to go out again. As well as being inappropriate, it totally turned her off of the whole company.

IN BON JOUR MATCHMAKING WE ARE PARTNERS

I am very accomplished both in my matchmaking abilities based on my 35 years of matchmaking and the structure of this service.  I didn’t purchase Bon Jour from someone else, I created it in 1989.  I didn’t work for another service and then decide to steal their clients and start my own.  This is and always has been my baby.  My clients are my “kids” and I’m as protective of them as a mother would be of her children.  I guess the bottom line is…you can choose to be part of a database or you can choose to be one of my clients. 

When you first contact me to ask questions about my service that is when we both start evaluating whether my structure, philosophy and personality fit for you and I assess whether you truly understand my philosophy, whether you are realistic, your dating attitude and whether we communicate well enough to work together.  To make this a successful partnership both sides have to fit…just like with your matches.

As it says all over my website this is an OLD FASHIONED MATCHMAKING SERVICE.  Presumably you are calling me because you understand that and all that means.  So to ask me how many are in my “database” right off the bat tells me you don’t get it.  My clients are not a “database”, they are clients.  Would you want to be considered part of a database or a client?  One implies a much closer relationship than the other.

If your philosophy is the more people I meet the more apt I am to find the right one, that it’s a numbers game, this is not the service for you.  Bon Jour is a MATCHMAKING service, consequently you are not thrown together with just anyone in your age range or that you purchased in a package.  You are MATCHED, on both sides, with the most appropriate people.  I presume you are only looking for “The ONE”, not the bunch to have a serious relationship with or marry.  Remember, almost all the couples who have married, married either the first or second person I introduced them to.

If we decide to work together I will ask you to send me a minimum of 6 pictures prior to your interview that are taken right before you come in. NOT old pictures that you have on your computer that you may have used on Dating Apps.  There are things in this service that you agree to follow as on the Behavioral Agreement and Contract and I need to see prior to our meeting that you are reliable and follow through.  That’s why people select Bon Jour, because the clients are reliable and have the same goal unlike in other local matchmaking services.  For your best results we need to be partners.

When we work together I am your advocate, confidant, partner, agent and representative.  I am always present either in person or by phone when I read someone your profile and send them your photos so they often ask my opinion of you and/or whether you would be a better choice than someone else they have viewed.  So if I were the client I would be as nice, polite, obliging and cooperative with my matchmaker as possible so that when a prospect asks about me my matchmaker would gush about how much they like me and how easy I am to work with, etc.  Doesn’t that make sense?

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I’D RATHER DECLINE THAN DISAPPOINT Your Denver Matchmaking Desires

As I’ve written many times on this website, I turn down more potential clients (and income) than I accept.  If I sense that this really is not what you are looking for in a service or potential relationship (doesn’t line up with my clientele) I would rather decline to work together than sign you and disappoint you.

That’s why the initial FREE PHONE CONSULTATION is sooooo important and that you be honest and candid, not only about what type of relationship you desire but also about your personal information.  I recently had two people lie to me about their age and I don’t work with people who lie.  If you want to lie use Internet Dating Sites or Dating Apps!  How do I know they lied?  I do a background check before you become a client both for my safety and for my clients as well as to make sure the information you have presented is true and honest.

If you do not fit what my clientele is looking for as stipulated in their 6 page profiles I cannot accept you and take your money if there is minimal or no chance of success.  Also, if my clientele does not fit what you are looking for I will decline.  Because I interview EVERY client I know their criteria and use the general specifications from all clients to determine whether someone new is what they are looking for.

I had a new client scheduled for last week and a couple of days before he called and was freaked out.  He kept saying he’s a “data guy” and how many, how many, how many?  He shared that he’d met 100 women in a 2 year period.  (So OBVIOUSLY this is NOT a numbers game!) I cancelled his appointment and suggested he use another venue.

If that is you, this is NOT the service for you.  This Denver matchmaking service aims to MATCH clients on BOTH sides so that a relationship grows and lasts.  That may take time for the right person to come in, that’s why the open-ended contract.  If you want immediate gratification or you are a “data person” this is not the service for you.

If you are combative with me and argumentative, obviously we would not make good partners.  That is a bad way to start and I would decline.  Yes, that actually happens from time to time.  We have to be a good match first to accomplish your goals.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL I MEET IN THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE?

When you call for your FREE phone consultation you may ask how many people you will meet.  First of all that is primarily up to you.  When I show you profiles at the time of your interview if you do not select anyone that is your prerogative.  If once you are on file as a client you turn down everyone who wants to meet you then, again, that is up to you.

I have no way of knowing how many people you will meet and my goal is not to set you up with everyone in town.  This is matchmaking.  The phone consultation does not go into the detailed depth that the interview does so by the time I know your background and all of your criteria and preferences at the interview the number of prospective matches obviously will go down.  This is matchmaking, the information has to fit on both sides to make a match.

Most people choose to meet one person at a time, however, again that is up to each individual.  You are NOT buying a “package of dates” so however many people seem to fit and appeal to you over time you are welcome to choose.  Then it is up to each of them whether they are interested.  But there is no limit to how many people you meet.  Other than MY goal which is to hit “the one” with as few matches as possible.

The fact is you only need ONE…the right ONE.  My goal in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is and has always been to set you up with only the most appropriate people so that you may achieve your goal sooner than later and with as little stress as possible.

MY ROLE AS A DENVER MATCHMAKER

Over the 36 years I’ve been matchmaking, one of my best attributes now is the ability to listen carefully. To follow my clients’ preferences and criteria and most importantly not to make decisions FOR them but rather WITH them.

Those qualities only come with years of experience in the business of professional matchmaking. Over all of these years I’ve seen clients choose people who surprised me and rejected people I thought they would like. So I’ve learned not to make matching decisions for them and to present people who I’m not sure they would be interested in. I don’t know everything and sometimes the clients don’t know themselves who may interest them ultimately.

I warn my clients be careful what you tell me in your criteria and preferences because I follow them closely. I will check to see if you have any flexibility and often most of my clients do. But when they don’t I respect that and carefully follow their desires.

Another important factor in being a great Colorado matchmaker is presenting enough information to each client so that together we can make the best choices. Along with the 6 page profile on each client, everyone has a minimum of 6 pictures. That information and the fact that I’ve met personally and work individually with every client as well as the open-ended contract are what has made Bon Jour Matchmaking Service so successful for 36 years and counting…HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BON JOUR MATCHMAKING! Below is my goal for you!

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS…

When Choosing a Matchmaking Service Consider:

1.    Why haven’t I ever used a local dating/matchmaking service?

2.    What has turned me off about Denver matchmaking services that I’ve either investigated or joined?

3.    What does Bon Jour Matchmaking do differently?

4.    What is my goal in using a personal matchmaker?

5.    What is the difference between Internet dating services and local services?

6.    What am I afraid of?

7.    Am I judging services by the success or lack of success of a friend?

8.    Why has Bon Jour Matchmaking been so successful?

9.    Which is more important to me…a glitzy website promoting a group of “matchmakers” or a meat and potatoes website representing a Matchmaker with years of experience with extensive information?

10.    What am I paying for…a fancy office and staff or years of experience dealing directly with one Matchmaker who knows all of her clients?

11.    Why am I afraid to pick up the phone and call a local service?  What’s the worst that can happen if I call?

12.    Do I think that a dating/matchmaking service will cure all problems I have with dating?

13.    What do I expect from a service, am I being realistic?

14.   Do I want to meet lots of people (who may not fit my criteria) so that I feel it is money well spent, or am I really seeking a mate, not a date for this investment?

15.   Do I have the patience and faith to give a real matchmaker time to achieve my romantic life goal?

16.    Why would services charging thousands of dollars interview clients at Starbucks or other public venues about such personal information?

17.    Why would I join a service that does not show me profiles of prospective matches with pictures?

18. If a service has a limited contract is that really practical? Am I interested in immediate gratification or is it most important to me to find the right person regardless of how long that may take?

After you’ve answered these questions (for yourself), let’s talk.  Phone me at 303-756-8106

WHAT DOES OPEN-ENDED CONTRACT MEAN?

Recently I’ve had the experience with several new clients when they initially called asking what an “open-ended contract” meant.  Other Denver matchmaking services may refer to it as a “Lifetime Contract” or a “Platinum Package” and charge you a lot extra to have that benefit.  EVERY client of Bon Jour has an open-ended contract!  That’s the way it should be if you are a REAL matchmaker.  You never know when that right person will present and you want to be there when they do!  The longest so far that I’ve worked with a client is 11 years and she DID get married in that 11th year to a man who became a widower the year before and joined my service after that…see, you never know when…meanwhile that widower married the first woman he met (my 11 year old client!).

My feeling is that calling it a Lifetime Contract or package is kind of depressing.  Also that is not what I mean by open-ended.  What I mean is that you are a client until…until you meet the right person and feel that you’ve accomplished your goal whether it be marriage or a lifetime partner.  It does not mean that once you’ve left the service for whatever reason you can just come back.  If you tell me to “drop your file” that will END the contract.  If you wish to come back in then you would have to start from the beginning.  I would have to re-interview you, etc.

What I’ve been told makes people suspicious is what I referenced above.  Other Denver matchmaking services charge so much more, if they even offer that option at all.  Every client in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service receives this contract.  As I’ve said throughout this site, I cannot promise that the day you join the perfect person will be here waiting for you.  They might be but I have no way of knowing that.  So you need to have the time for that “right” person to join the service and we don’t know when that will be.  But you surely want to be here when they do.

Services that offer limited contracts do not give you the time for that right person to present themselves.  They are most interested in trying to re-sign you again to make another fee.  In Bon Jour you only pay the filing fee once, at the time of your initial interview.  That’s it, you’re in until marriage, moving out-of-state or death do us part…

I hope that clarifies what I mean by open-ended contract.

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