IS THIS YOU? THEN YOU ARE A GOOD PROSPECT FOR BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

I do not decide exclusively upon my own criteria whether we should work together.  Primarily that has been decided by my current clients who have been very specific as to their preferences and criteria…just like you would be if you were a client.  Bon Jour is the ONLY Denver matchmaking service that does not have ANY reviews stating the client was set up with people who did not fit their specified criteria.  So, don’t take it personally and don’t blame the messenger (me) if I feel that we shouldn’t work together.  Rather be grateful that I told you the truth and did not scam you out of your money!

Just to try and make things simpler, following is a list of traits that will tell you if you and Bon Jour Matchmaking Service are a good match which include both my perimeters and my clients’ criteria:

  1. You have read to some extent through this website;
  2. You understand the philosophy of Bon Jour as a matchmaking service NOT a dating service;
  3. You perceive my clients as a clientele NOT a database;
  4. Female clients prefer men who are 5’7″ or taller;
  5. Male clients prefer women who are no more than a size 10;
  6. My female clients are well educated and prefer men who are equally educated;
  7. Most of my clientele will not consider someone who is unvaccinated (some will);
  8. None of my clients will date smokers;
  9. None of my clients will consider someone who is separated;
  10. None of my clients will consider someone with sleeve or full body tattoos;
  11. You are NOT obsessed with how many people I have relating to you because once I hear your preferences that number will surely drop;
  12. You are looking to meet age appropriate matches NOT people much younger who don’t want to meet people in your age range;
  13. You are a woman between 27 and 57; You are a man between 30 and 65;
  14. You understand that meeting a bunch of people who do not fit your preferences and criteria is not what I do here.  (For example: packages of dates for a finite period of time which is what other local services do);
  15. You understand that you are only matched with people both who fit your preferences and you fit theirs. YOU make the final decision on who you meet;
  16. You are willing to listen to and perhaps follow my coaching;
  17. You may meet as many people as you feel are an appropriate match, however the goal is to be discerning enough that you meet the “right” one on your first or second match…regardless of how long that takes to happen;
  18. Your goal is to meet the RIGHT person NOT a bunch of the wrong people and that may take time;
  19. You understand that the perfect person may not be on file the exact day you interview;
  20. You understand that this is not a race.  We are looking for the “right” person and that may take time thus the open-ended contract.  You are in the service until you reach your goal.

If you feel that this describes you then call me for your FREE phone consultation!  No appointment necessary for that.  If you genuinely feel this is a numbers game, this is NOT the right service for you.  I am a Matchmaker with all that implies.

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service

LET ME HELP YOU CORRECT INEFFECTIVE DATING PATTERNS

I’ve received feedback about my Posts that people love my anecdotal stories as they help clarify my points.  So, to illuminate this point…I have found with some of my clients that they have a regular routine of some kind that they don’t change when they come in here and meet potential mates.  Whether it be skiing every weekend in the winter, boating every weekend in the summer, going to their place in the mountains every weekend or whatever, once you have decided to work with a professional Matchmaker and meet good potential mates you HAVE to be flexible with your schedule.  You can do that routine when you are single, or even in a relationship but you HAVE to make the time to nurture a potential relationship and show flexibility.

I used to have a very attractive female client who owned several places in the mountains and two dogs.  On Thursday she would go to the mountains (with her dogs) until Sunday.  She would NEVER change her schedule to accommodate someone she was dating.  She took her dogs everywhere, including to our interview and her first meetings with matches.  I’m a real animal person and don’t like animals locked up in a car for two hours and I’m sure that made her dates feel uncomfortable.  But even more I received feedback from every guy she met that she wouldn’t fit time in her weekend schedule to get together, so they moved on.

Someone who does that looks very selfish, very inflexible and doesn’t appear to have a desire to nurture a relationship.  All in all she appeared as a poor partner and I was never able to seal the deal for her.  I spoke with her about the feedback numerous times and she claimed she would change but never did…and BTW she’s still single, surprise.  I am no longer working with her as I cannot disappoint my male clients and waste their time when she won’t comply.

Recently I’ve had another beautiful female client join my service.  Despite many conversations with her during and after her interview, she never told me that she goes to the mountains every weekend from Friday to Sunday.  I learned about this from feedback from her matches.  They asked her for another date and she is gone every weekend and they can’t even reach her by phone, so they became frustrated and moved on.  The feedback from clients is invaluable.

I have not spoken with her about it yet as she is in the mountains and has no phone or internet service there…I am not only concerned about this pattern but that she hid it from me even though we’ve spoken so many times.  I suspect she thought if she told me I would not work with her because deep down she has to know that this may undermine any success.  But I always find out, if not directly from the client, then from feedback from their matches.  When I receive negative feedback from 2 people I address that with the person so they can correct that behavior.

If a client is using it to turn off the other person because they aren’t interested but don’t know how to tell them, BAD IDEA.  Just merely say how nice they are and attractive (if they are) but the chemistry just isn’t there.  No one can argue with that!  But don’t say things to turn them off as your rejection.  Man up and be honest, trust me, they appreciate that.

WHO IS MICHELE THE MATCHMAKER FIELDS?

Born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware I moved to Denver in 1981. I had never been here, did not know anyone here and did not have a job. Just showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed…like any 25 year old.

From 25 to 33 I had a variety of jobs but primarily was a legal secretary. Excited to be in this big city with so many options and people, I dated veraciously which in hindsight may have been my mistake. After 8 marriage proposals I never really met the “right” one for me…so I know that the “numbers game” is just that…a game not worth playing.

As a lifelong insomniac I realized that working specific hours was making it worse so decided to start my own business with my own hours. The only Denver matchmaking service then was GE and as a single myself looked at their structure and decided to do the total opposite thus creating my niche which has flourished since 1989!

During all this dating and working I volunteered as a rape crisis counselor for RAAP, a counselor for Safehouse for Battered Women and a bereavement counselor for a hospice. I also was involved in fundraising through golf tournaments such as the NFL Alumni Association and the Restaurant Association. I also volunteered at Skyview Retirement Home for 6 years specifically for those who had no family support. Was even included in one of their weddings!

I have a PhD. in dating and relationships from 40 years of doing so unlike someone who has been married for years and doesn’t know the landscape or the current dating apps and internet dating sites. I can totally relate to the frustrations, disappointments, excitement, anticipation and all that goes with trying to find your life partner. Thus allowing me to counsel, console and hand hold my clients during this process. Also to make sure that each match has the best chance by clarifying, correcting and sharing communication between clients so this delicate match has every chance of succeeding.

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS…

1.    Why haven’t I ever used a local dating service or matchmaking service?

2.    What has turned me off about local services that I’ve either investigated or joined?

3.    What does Bon Jour Matchmaking do differently?

4.    What is my goal in using a personal matchmaker?

5.    What is the difference between Internet dating sites, dating apps and local services?

6.    What am I afraid of?

7.    Am I judging services by the success or lack of success of a friend?

8.    Why has Bon Jour Matchmaking been so successful?

9.    Which is more important to me…a glitzy website promoting a group of “matchmakers” or a meat and potatoes website representing a Matchmaker with years of experience?

10.    What am I paying for…a fancy office and staff or years of experience dealing directly with one Matchmaker who knows all of her clients?

11.    Why am I afraid to pick up the phone and call a local service?  What’s the worst that can happen if I call?

12.    Do I think that a dating/matchmaking service will cure all problems I have with dating?

13.    What do I expect from a service, am I being realistic?

14.   Do I want to meet lots of people (who may not fit my criteria) so that I feel it is money well spent, or am I really seeking a mate, not a date for this investment?

15.   Do I have the patience and faith to give a real matchmaker time to achieve my romantic life goal?

16.    Why would services charging thousands of dollars interview clients at Starbucks or other public venues about such personal information?

17.    Why would I join a service that does not show me profiles of prospective matches with pictures?

After you’ve answered these questions (for yourself), let’s talk.  Phone me at 303-756-8106

LET ME HELP YOU CORRECT INEFFECTIVE DATING PATTERNS

I’ve received feedback about my Blog that people love my anecdotal stories as they help clarify my points.  So, to illuminate this point…I have found with some of my clients that they have a regular routine of some kind that they don’t change when they come in here and meet potential mates.  Whether it be skiing every weekend in the winter, boating every weekend in the summer, going to their place in the mountains every weekend or whatever, once you have decided to work with a professional Matchmaker and meet good potential mates you HAVE to be flexible with your schedule.  You can do that routine when you are single, or even in a relationship but you HAVE to make the time to nurture a potential relationship and show flexibility.

I used to have a very attractive female client who owned several places in the mountains and two dogs.  On Thursday she would go to the mountains (with her dogs) until Sunday.  She would NEVER change her schedule to accommodate someone she was dating.  She took her dogs everywhere, including to our interview and her first meetings with matches.  I’m a real animal person and don’t like animals locked up in a car for two hours and I’m sure that made her dates feel uncomfortable.  But even more I received feedback from every guy she met that she wouldn’t fit time in her weekend schedule to get together.  So they moved on.

Someone who does that looks very selfish, very inflexible and doesn’t appear to have a desire to nurture a relationship.  All in all she appeared as a poor partner and I was never able to seal the deal for her.  I spoke with her about the feedback numerous times and she claimed she would change but never did…and BTW she’s still single, surprise.  I am no longer working with her as I cannot disappoint my male clients and waste their time when she won’t comply.

Recently I’ve had another beautiful female client join my service.  Despite many conversations with her during and after her interview, she never told me that she goes to the mountains every weekend from Friday to Sunday.  I learned about this from feedback from her matches.  They asked her for another date and she is gone every weekend and they can’t even reach her by phone, so they became frustrated and moved on.  The feedback from clients is invaluable.

I have not spoken with her about it yet as she is in the mountains and has no phone or internet service there…I am not only concerned about this pattern but that she hid it from me even though we’ve spoken so many times.  I suspect she thought if she told me I would not work with her because deep down she has to know that this may undermine any success.  But I always find out, if not directly from the client, then from feedback from their matches.  When I receive negative feedback from 2 people I address that with the person so they can correct that behavior.

If a client is using it to turn off the other person because they aren’t interested but don’t know how to tell them, BAD IDEA.  Just merely say how nice they are and attractive (if they are) but the chemistry just isn’t there.  No one can argue with that!  But don’t say things to turn them off as your rejection.  Man up and be honest, trust me, they appreciate that.

ASK THESE QUESTIONS BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Every week I receive calls from singles who have used or spoken to other local Denver matchmaking services. What shocks me every time is the few questions these people ask the other services. Maybe because I conduct at least a 1 hour preliminary phone consultation they think of more questions to ask me…I don’t know. But these are the types of questions you should ask when looking for a Denver matchmaker.

  1. Does the person who will be matchmaking me know ALL of the clients?
  2. How long have you been in business?
  3. How many marriages have you had?
  4. Where is the interview conducted? In a quiet, private place or at a coffee shop or hotel?
  5. Are you matching me with YOUR clientele or with other local matchmakers? Have you interviewed and met those clients if they are not yours?
  6. Have they interviewed and met with every client?
  7. What are the different contract lengths?
  8. Do I get to view a profile of each client?
  9. Are there pictures of each client that I view?
  10. Who makes the decision on who I meet…the matchmaker and/or me?
  11. Do you vett the people I will be meeting or just grab singles where you can find them to match with me?
  12. Do you do a background check?
  13. Do you share the background check with me…even generally?
  14. Is this truly a matchmaking service or a dating service?
  15. IF it’s matchmaking why am I buying a “package of dates”?
  16. Is there coaching to help me succeed with my matches?

So I will answer all those questions for you in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service:

I meet with each client in-person and interview every client.

I have been in business for 33 years.

I have had more than 300 marriages during that time.

I NEVER call other local services to use their clientele who I’ve never met. You are ONLY matched with MY clientele.

Every client has an open ended contract.

Clients view a 6 page profile of every client.

Each client has a minimum of 6 pictures which are shared with perspective matches.

We collaboratively decide who are the best matches but ultimately the client has the last word.

Clients are ONLY matched with other clients having their profile, pictures and having done a background check on each. All clients are vetted both for my safety and that of the clients.

Yes, background checks are done on every single who calls me for the service whether they become a client or not at no expense to the clients.

I do not specifically “share” the background check other than anything interesting. If there is something negative I may not accept them as a client.

This is an old fashioned matchmaking service.

There are no packages of anything, this is matchmaking. You may meet as many or few people as you are interested in who feel the same. But my goal is to hit the perfect match with the first or second introduction. There is as much coaching as you need to help you succeed. What’s the point of introducing you to people and then having you make the same mistakes you’ve always made?

Denver Singles Have High Expectations of Local Denver Dating Services

Although I am more the tortoise than the hare when it comes to Denver dating and matchmaking (remember who won that race), I only set you up based on mutual compatibility and both parties having access to a multitude of information and both clients agreeing to the match.  That’s why most of the 300+ couples who have married through Michele the Matchmaker at Bon Jour married either the first or second person they met in the service!

As a Denver single myself as well as a Professional Matchmaker for 33 years I can really empathize with my clients on many levels.  I try to put myself in my clients’ position if I were to join a Denver Dating or Denver Matchmaking Service.  After all that is how I decided on the structure of my service in 1989.

When you come into Bon Jour Matchmaking Service for your two-hour interview and make your investment you assume there will be people you will be excited about, lots of prospects and that because you want to meet them, they will want to meet you.  Like the Internet, apps or any other dating venue that may not be the case OR it may be, there is no way to know in advance.  The make-up of the clientele varies due to new clients coming in at all times.  That’s why there is so much value in having my open-ended contract.  So, whenever the right person arrives, whether it’s the day you interview or later, you will be there! So, patience may be necessary if you genuinely wish to meet “the one”. My clients who have been patient throughout all these years are usually the ones with the most success. That said, there have been many who were just lucky and their “one” was here the day they interviewed!

If you contact a local Denver dating service and they make all kinds of promises logically that cannot be the case.  Not if they are doing their job correctly.  If you want to date in bulk use the Internet.  To pay a service for a specific number of dates you are asking to be sorely disappointed in the quality as well as the compatibility.  I’ve heard this directly from many, many singles who have used those.  They are also ridiculously expensive and have limited contracts. For a lifelong relationship you may want to work with a genuine matchmaker, not a service that is a franchise, based out of state, with rotating “matchmakers”/salespeople who come and go if they don’t hit their quotas.

I’D RATHER DECLINE THAN DISAPPOINT Your Denver Matchmaking Desires

As I’ve written many times on this website, I turn down more potential clients (and income) than I accept.  If I sense that this really is not what you are looking for in a service or potential relationship (doesn’t line up with my clientele) I would rather decline to work together than sign you and disappoint you.

That’s why the initial FREE PHONE CONSULTATION is sooooo important and that you be honest and candid, not only about what type of relationship you desire but also about your personal information.  I recently had two people lie to me about their age and I don’t work with people who lie.  If you want to lie use Internet Dating Sites or Dating Apps!  How do I know they lied?  I do a background check before you become a client both for my safety and for my clients as well as to make sure the information you have presented is true and honest.

If you do not fit what my clientele is looking for as stipulated in their 6 page profiles I cannot accept you and take your money if there is minimal or no chance of success.  Also, if my clientele does not fit what you are looking for I will decline.  Because I interview EVERY client I know their criteria and use the general specifications from all clients to determine whether someone new is what they are looking for.

I had a new client scheduled for last week and a couple of days before he called and was freaked out.  He kept saying he’s a “data guy” and how many, how many, how many?  He shared that he’d met 100 women in a 2 year period.  (So OBVIOUSLY this is NOT a numbers game!) I cancelled his appointment and suggested he use another venue.

If that is you, this is NOT the service for you.  This Denver matchmaking service aims to MATCH clients on BOTH sides so that a relationship grows and lasts.  That may take time for the right person to come in, that’s why the open-ended contract.  If you want immediate gratification or you are a “data person” this is not the service for you.

If you are combative with me and argumentative, obviously we would not make good partners.  That is a bad way to start and I would decline.  Yes, that actually happens from time to time.  We have to be a good match first to accomplish your goals.

BUSINESS IS BOOMING

CALL FOR YOUR FREE PHONE CONSULTATION

Once you’ve read through this site you should call to discuss any questions you’ve formulated. My schedule is getting full both for the phone consultations and for interviews, so while this is fresh in your mind let’s talk…Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is a full service, old fashioned Denver matchmaking company celebrating 33 years of successful matchmaking.  Michele Fields works with each and every client personally. There are no secondary “matchmakers”…only the REAL ONE!

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