WHAT TYPES OF SINGLES ARE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL WHEN WORKING WITH A DENVER MATCHMAKER?

Since 1989 I’ve observed the types of people who have the most success working with me.  Contrary to popular belief they are not the most beautiful or handsome, in fact they are usually average to a bit above average.  They are not the richest men, they are realistic men and women.  They pay attention to the feedback I give them and suggestions I make to improve their success.  Bon Jour Matchmaking does not accept people who are married or separated.  So below is a short list of the qualities that will make a single successful in the Denver matchmaking market:

1.   Realistic – If you come in with the expectation that you can place your order and expect that person to either currently be on file waiting for you or that I can conjure them up you are not being realistic.  You know your strengths and weaknesses and you should expect to meet someone who both accepts and compliments those.  Timing has much to do with your success so patience is also a requirement.  You are not looking to meet someone who is 15+ years younger than you.

2.   Patient – You realize that the person you are seeking may not be in the service at the exact time you join.  This is the reason for the open-ended contract.  So that you will be in the service when that “right” person comes along, whenever that may be.

3.   Open-Minded – At the time of your 2-hour interview you are shown all of the profiles of clients belonging to Bon Jour Matchmaking Service who are a fit for you personally.  Don’t compare them against each other, but evaluate each profile on a per person basis whether this person is a good match for you.  Your expectations are the same as they would be outside of the service rather than higher because you’ve made a financial investment.  Instead of thinking that you only want to meet the exact same type of people that you usually date, consider that may be the problem and open up to other types.  I.e., don’t look at a person and say they remind you of someone who didn’t work out so you won’t meet them.  They are not that person.  Obviously, there was something that attracted you to that person but this may be a better version of them…open your dating palate.

4.   Reasonable – You don’t judge whether a person is “cheap” or insecure by something they do or don’t do during the first meeting.  Everyone is uncomfortable with a first meeting and may not do everything perfectly.

Those are just a few of the reasons certain people are successful with Bon Jour Matchmaking.  They are realistic, patient, open-minded and reasonable.  Are you?

 

MYTHS AND TRUTHS ABOUT MATCHMAKING SERVICES AND DATING SERVICES

  1. In my opinion the number 1 myth is…the more expensive a service is the more successful it is and the higher quality their clients are.  If you look at reviews of the most expensive services around the country as well as Denver matchmaking services, you will see many, many negative reviews.  So you should not judge a service by what they charge you.  Many are just greedy and want to make lots of money for doing nothing.
  2. If a service says they have lots of clients for me should I trust that?  MYTH,  NO, NO, NO.  A real matchmaking service has no idea how many clients fit for you until they interview you thoroughly.  To throw out arbitrary numbers over the phone is unprofessional and merely a sales tactic.
  3. If a service has been covered by the media that means it is a good service and you can trust what you see in the news story.  MYTH,  Again, if you look at reviews of some of those services you will see that clearly the reporter/writer did not do their due diligence before writing or reporting the story.  It is not wise to join a service or use any company JUST because they were covered by the media.
  4. If you make a major financial investment in a service then it should work for you.  MYTH,  A service cannot overcome, in many cases, your own personal issues/habits or force clients to meet each other.  If you work with a Professional Matchmaker who coaches you that should increase the odds of it succeeding.  It is just one of many options of how to meet like minded, appropriate people who have the same goal.
  5. All you have to do is join a service and you do not have to put any effort into it.  MYTH,  If you decide to make the financial investment you should also realize you have to invest psychologically.  If you are coached to update a look, write something to be more appealing, cooperate when sending in photos or whatever you should be prepared and willing to do so.  To just plop down some money and expect everything to take care of itself is not realistic and not the point of working with a Professional Matchmaker.
  6. If you join a Denver matchmaking or Denver dating service that does not show you profiles or photos, but selects FOR you because you have bought a package of so many dates for so many months you will be happy with that.  MYTH,  Most people who contact me have either looked at that structure or tried it or know someone who has and were very unhappy with the results.  Check out their reviews…  How can someone select FOR you after meeting you once briefly and not showing you any information?  What are you paying for?
  7. That because you are a “mature” man who is financially set you deserve to meet beautiful, YOUNG women since you are paying to use a Matchmaker.  MYTH,  I can’t speak for other services but my female clients are highly educated, financially stable/secure, attractive, extremely interesting individuals (even the younger ones) who are interested in meeting ONLY age appropriate men, especially if they are younger and looking to start a family.
  8. I’ve been asked by some singles if they will for sure meet someone.  TRUTH,  My response is that is primarily up to you.  If you turn down every profile you are shown and say no to every person who selects you, then NO, you will not meet anyone.  But you are in control of that, not I.  I can present clients who fit what you are looking for and are good matches but if you always say NO then I guess the answer is no.
  9. You specifically join a Denver matchmaking service that offers coaching so one would assume you are open and willing to accept suggestions and feedback.  TRUTH,  Why else would you join a service with coaching?  If you don’t listen to the suggestions and feedback, again you may not be as successful.  What other venue can give you feedback about what the other person is thinking?  Only working with a Professional Matchmaker.
  10. That reviews of matchmaking/dating services are a reflection of the service.  MYTH,  NOT ALWAYS TRUE.  As listed above the client has a lot to do with their own success.  Lots of people get mad because they are disappointed that a service didn’t solve all of their dating issues.  Sometimes those reviews are a reflection of the client not the service.  If you are narrow in your criteria and inflexible that is your prerogative, however that probably will reflect your success.
  11. The length of time in business is not a reflection of how successful a service is.  MYTH,  This is a very competitive field especially in Denver.  The longer a company (like any company) has been in business the more credibility it should have…of course you have to figure that in with many other factors.  But length of time in business is certainly one.  Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is celebrating 34 years of full-time Denver matchmaking success!
  12. Aren’t dating services and matchmaking services the same?  MYTH, a dating service sells packages of dates, with no information or photos and selects for you.  You buy a package for 6 months with 6 introductions.  They merely throw someone at you once a month disregarding your criteria and preferences to meet the contract…THAT’S A DATING SERVICE!  A genuine matchmaker gets to know you, shares profiles and pictures with you and guides you through YOUR selection process based on taste and common information presented in that profile.  A matchmaker should extend to every client an open-ended contract as well to give the right person for you the time to present themselves.

A Moment In Time

40 years passed by like a moment in time

He made us laugh many moments in time

His acting drew us in at moments in time

We heard he was gone at a moment in time

His light will shine every moment in time

We’ll miss him through the rest of our moments in time.

Missing Robin Williams…

RobinWilliams2009

AN INVITATION FOR DENVER SINGLES AGES 30-70 FROM DENVER’S PREMIERE MATCHMAKER

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service invites you to call for a FREE phone consultation.  Ask any and all questions you would like prior to making a decision as to whether this is the best service to fulfill your romantic goals.

I am available Monday thru Sunday 9am-7pm to chat with you.  If I am with a client I will phone you back at my earliest convenience.  Before phoning please click on the following link and read several of the posts on the Page named POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE so that you understand both how this service works and the advantages of Bon Jour Matchmaking over other Front Range services.

Unlike other local matchmaking services I do not do a “Meet and Greet” session at Starbucks or hotels to look you over.  After 25 years of matchmaking thousands of singles I am adept at discerning whether you and the service are a good match through an extensive phone consultation.  Not everyone who calls is an appropriate potential client.  I will tell you directly and save you both time and money if I feel either this is not the right service for you or you and I are not a match.

I am not interested in “talking you into” using my service.  My main goal is to exchange mutual information and we both decide whether you are the right fit.  I am not a salesman, I am a Matchmaker.

 

BON JOUR ON ANDY ROONEY ON WOMEN OVER FORTY…GET IT?????

Andy Rooney’s thoughts on women over forty:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.

A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Wasn’t a big fan of Andy Rooney but love this!

 

Fees of Denver Dating Services vs. Bon Jour Matchmaking Service

(Please click on the links to go to Posts)

Bon Jour Matchmaking Service is owned and operated by me/myself/and I, Michele the Matchmaker.  There are no other employees working on commission, there is no fancy office space, no advertising and as little overhead as is possible to run a business, consequently Bon Jour is able to offer a more reasonable investment than other Denver dating or matchmaking services.  In addition, I offer all clients an open-ended contract (at no extra fee), meaning they are a client until…until they reach their goal in the service.

I believe two of the most important ingredients involved in a successful match are timing and fate.  Every client receives the benefit of those at an extremely reasonable investment.  Your investment in Bon Jour is based upon client’s age, height, age range they wish to date, location and other information shared at the time of the phone consultation.

There seems to be a trend lately with Denver matchmakers to charge for a certain number of dates; only to charge the men and sign the women for free (or vice versa) or a combination thereof.  Often you may pay $3500 for 6 dates on a six month contract.  And $5500 for 12 dates in 12 months…or more. In addition, you receive very little information (I am told by past clients of those services), no pictures or profile and have to accept that service’s opinion as to whether it’s a good match.  If you wish to be a “VIP” you may pay $7,000-$10,000…or more.  I’ve also been told that because of the lack of male clientele, select male clients are set up with all new women, even though their preferences preclude many of these matches, leaving both sides very frustrated.  The main complaints seem to be the expensive fees and the services not paying any attention to the clients’ criteria.  Also the owner(s) and or “matchmakers’ not returning calls or e-mails.

So take your time, do your homework when searching for the best type of service for you and your finances.

DENVER SINGLES’ LIFESTYLE TRENDS

Denver singles have specific lifestyles that may indicate the way singles throughout the country are thinking and feeling.

Almost all of the Denver singles that I’ve interviewed in the past 25 years are pro choice.

The majority are in favor of capitol punishment.

They are open minded about people who have children outside of marriage.

Although most were raised in a specific religion, the majority do not practice that religion and consider themselves spiritual.

Most people in my service do not own guns for safety and a few own guns for hunting.  Most clients say they will date someone who owns guns.

Most of my clients say they do not currently use pot.

Most of my clients have traveled Internationally.  Most have also done volunteer work both in the United States and abroad.

Almost every client in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has at lease one pet.

Men tend to be mostly conservative while their female counterparts tend to be mostly middle of the road or liberal.  A percentage of both say they are fiscally conservative and socially liberal.

The men show little concern about the income of the women while the women ONLY request that the men either make around the same income as they do or are financially stable.  No gold diggers here on either side!

HOW TO BE A REALISTIC MATCHMAKING CLIENT

When hiring a Matchmaker you share the responsibility with the Matchmaker to work together, put your best foot forward, have an amicable relationship with that Matchmaker and be realistic in your expectations.

If you join a matchmaking service it is their responsibility to show your profile to the most appropriate candidates. Not to waste your time setting you up with prospects that do not fit your preferences. It is your responsibility to be realistic with your criteria and realize that whenever you are shown a profile you have the right to turn it down. Conversely when your profile is shown to a prospect they have every right to turn you down.  Remember that although new clients come in every week they may not fit your preferences, be the opposite sex or select to meet you.  So the key is patience…sometimes there is a match right away and sometimes it can take time until the right person enters the service.  Try not to get discouraged if it takes time as it is better to be set up with a few great matches than tons of people who don’t fit your preferences!

The job of the Matchmaker is to go over profiles with each client and be sure there are no misunderstandings in the information set forth, also that neither party overly analyzes this information or reads into it. Using a Matchmaker will help you answer questions you’ve never even thought of.  A Matchmaker will help you focus in on what’s important, even if it may seem superficial.

Additionally coaching is an important component of matchmaking.  Many good potential relationships get derailed during the first month or two due to lack of communication as well as miscommunication.  I am there to convey and correct these issues as well as if there is something you are doing consistently to sabotage relationships I will point that out to you so that you may address the issue.  The last two marriages in Bon Jour would never have happened had I not gotten in the middle in the first couple of months and straightened out a lack of communication in both instances!

As THE Matchmaker at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service in Denver I offer the most reasonable investment to new clients in the Front Range.  You are a client until you find your match with no additional fees than the one-time investment fee and per introduction fee of $35.  That’s it, call to discuss your personal situation with me at 303-756-8106 so that I may quote you your personal investment fee.

Plenty of Fish Casts a Net with Plenty of Catfish

lml01's avatarTales from the Dark Side

You’ve head of online dating and maybe you indulge in it yourself from time to time. I’ve done the same. I’ve met some very nice people dr philalthough certainly not The One. Very seldom do I see that happening around me although a colleague seems to have met her man that way. She however, paid for her match. Free dating sites sound somewhat riskier to me. Anyone who is unwilling to put out a few bills, answer an extensive online profile. and submit several personal photos probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship. If you aren’t looking for love (in all the wrong places?) then maybe free sites such as POF may be a reasonable starting point to meet friends or go out on casual dates.

Paid sites, such as Match.comseem to have a better success rate for men and women but that doesn’t mean there aren’t catfish and trolls

View original post 1,663 more words

Remembering the Beloved Comic Genius of Our Generation Robin Williams

When Robin Williams reached Heaven this morning even God gave him a standing ovation.  There really was only one like him.  They say that about many people but in his case he was the definition of unique.  We’ll never see another Robin Williams in our lifetime.  We won’t forget what a superb actor he was…he just did it all with ease.

I can’t help but think of the enormous loss this is to the many people he touched who he worked with over so many years and on so many projects.  The other celebrities who grew up with him.  And, of course, his family and friends who must be in the depths of sadness.

His humor, talent and compassion helped so many people escape from the stress of their lives but sadly no one was able to help him with his own challenges. I’m sure everyone second guesses themselves as to whether they missed the signs and could have helped.

To reach the point of considering suicide happens to many humans.  To arrive at the point of doing it is something most people can’t comprehend.  It takes a special kind of pain, sadness and not being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  To only see darkness in your future.  It’s hard to comprehend how a person, like so many other celebrities who’ve passed prematurely (accidentally or not), could give up with so much universal love for them, families, incredible talent.  But suicide is a dark place that reaches beyond all of that.  All of that disappears in the presence of that kind of pain.

The thought of never seeing a new interview with Mr. Williams, a new movie, a new comedy act is overwhelmingly sad.  The world is in mourning for so many people at this point in time, yet this person, this zany, comical, brilliant light on our earth that has gone out is felt by everyone.  We all hope he will find the peace he so needed where he is now…and lucky them to have Robin Williams to make the other side laugh.  I hope he can feel all this love now…

8/14/14  Now we know and maybe understand, but that doesn’t fill the void or ease the pain.  Robin Williams will be missed until we see him again…