What AFFECTS Your INVESTMENT in BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

CALL ME…This is NOT a “sales” call, merely an exchange of information.

Your one-time investment in this open-ended contract is evaluated based on the following.  The investment fee is a range and is reached by the information supplied below.  Be sure to disclose any of this information that applies to you as it MAY LOWER your investment fee during your FREE phone consultation.  Do not wait until you are in the middle of your interview to share this as it will not change at that time:

  • The location where you live;
  • Your age: Women 30-58  Men 30-65;
  • The age range you wish to meet;
  • How many times you’ve been married;
  • Whether you’ve ever been married;
  • For men…your height (5’7″+);
  • For women…your size (Size 10 or under);
  • Tattoos (do not accept people with body or sleeve tattoos);
  • How many pets you have;
  • The specific criteria you set forth;
  • Whether you are a smoker;
  • Whether you have a disability or challenge of some kind;
  • Whether you wish to have children;
  • Whether you will date someone who has children;
  • Whether you have children and how many children you have.

Most of this information is disclosed during your FREE telephone consultation at which time you will receive a quote for your personal investment fee.

CLIENTS WHO WITHHOLD INFORMATION ARE DROPPED FROM BON JOUR MATCHMAKING

This year I have had two women under forty withhold the most important information a client can give me…what’s that?  One told me that she had a baby when the baby was 5 months old during a call I happened to make to her.  So she went 9 months and then 5 months and who knows how much longer she would have gone without disclosing this while I was presenting her profile to possible matches.  I write regular mass emails to my clients and remind them to update me with any new information.  She never did so.

Today, after receiving a number of emails from another female client under forty over the past month, I received a new narrative she wrote for her profile and a couple of updated photos.  I looked at the photos first and she was holding a newborn baby.  I assumed it was a friend’s or relative’s as her status was that she had no children.  In all these emails I’ve received from her she never mentioned any updates, so I was confused…

While I’m reading the narrative, she states that she adopted a baby.  Not when, no age, never let me know prior that she was thinking about doing this or had started the process, again while I was presenting her profile to potential matches.

This is not like oh I got another dog or cat or I got my hair cut…this is pertinent information that was not shared until they felt like it.  Regardless of the fact that during this time I was misrepresenting them for lack of this information.  Both clients have been dropped.

If you are a single female under forty and you are considering using Bon Jour, please think good and hard about whether you will share all pertinent information.

HERE’S HELP WITH YOUR DATING MISTAKES…

Haven’t you always wished you could go back and ask people you’ve dated why they stopped seeing you?  Have you sat by the phone, not literally but mentally, waiting for a call that never came?  Haven’t you ever gone on a first date and had a great time, great chemistry and lots of interest and felt that the other person did also but you never heard back from them?

Along with all of the other services and perks you receive as a client of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service, as your hands-on Denver Matchmaker I will share with you feedback from your matches.  Not only things that may have turned them off or on, but also whether they are interested enough to call you back…so no more waiting for a phone call that will never come!  You may have dating patterns that are sabotaging potential great relationships but how will you ever find that out?  You WILL find that out as my client for I want you to be successful as much as you do.

In observing dating over the 34 years since Bon Jour Matchmaking was created, the most critical part in the success or failure of a match is right after that first meeting.  Often one or the other person is left hanging and not knowing what’s going on.  One person is so interested they are sure the other is…but they aren’t.  One or the other person ASSUMES certain things from the conversation without asking for clarification and that may end further interaction.  That’s exactly when I swoop in to clarify misconceptions, give you valuable observations of behavior that did not work in your favor and let you know how the other person feels.

Read through some of the CLIENTS’ TESTIMONIALS AND REVIEWS to see what kind of experience clients have had in Bon Jour, then read some of the posts on POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE.  Do you think I may be of assistance to you?

THIS IS THE REASON FOR AN OPEN-ENDED CONTRACT WITH A DENVER MATCHMAKER

A gentleman joined Bon Jour Matchmaking a year ago in August.  He selectively met a couple of women who appealed to him.  Then for several months he met a woman he dated for a while.  A few months ago a new woman joined Bon Jour who also met a couple of men.  Much of her time has been spent going back and forth out-of-town taking care of her mother in between those matches.

Upon her return about a month ago I matched these two clients and wallah, they are a great match with both seeing long-term potential!  If either had been on a limited contract they probably would not have met.  This scenario has happened countless times through the years with clients of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service all due to the open-ended contract!  They are now engaged as of 2015!  They’ve been married since 2015!

Timing has so much to do with meeting the right person.  That often does not happen within the confines of a limited contract, thus every client of Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has an open-ended contract!  Because of the 34 year (since 1989) track record in Denver matchmaking, as Denver’s oldest full-time professional matchmaker my years of experience are what drive how this service was and is structured.  This service was not copied from other companies, on the contrary, it was structured the exact opposite of other Denver matchmaking services.

ARE DENVER MATCHMAKERS DOING THEIR JOB?

I guess the answer depends on your definition of a “Matchmaker”.  It also depends on your agenda when using Denver matchmaking services.  According to World English Dictionary it’s a limited definition (in my opinion)…
World English Dictionary
matchmaker 1 (ˈmætʃˌmeɪkə)
— n
1. a person who brings together suitable partners for marriage

It seems currently in Denver you have two viable options to go about selecting a “matchmaker” to assist you in finding a mate.  There are the packages that have become extremely popular with franchise and local matchmaking services because it takes all of the work out of it for them.  You sign a contract for a specific period of time (for thousands of dollars) for a specific number of “dates”. You receive very, very limited information about the person, no photos or profile per se and you rely entirely on either someone who has met you once or possibly someone else in that service who has never met you or your match.  But you are guaranteed to meet “people”.  Feedback is that the criteria you set forth initially is almost always disregarded just so they can meet the contract with that specific number of matches.  But if you want a guarantee to meet “people”, for enough money you will.

If you are buying a package of dates…that’s a dating service NOT a matchmaking service.

Your other option is to work one-on-one with a professional matchmaker who gets to know you over time, has interviewed every potential match and knows them personally, sticks to your criteria and preferences, shares a 6 page profile with 6 current photos, shares her experiences and knowledge of both you and your match and you have an open-ended contract.  You can meet as many people as you feel are good matches with tons of information on them.  You are a client until you meet your goal.  If you are overly particular and turn down every profile and every person who selects you, then you may not meet very many people…BUT THAT’S UP TO YOU.  The goal with a professional matchmaker is to be specific enough so that you only meet the best fit and hopefully that happens with just a few matches.  The goal is not to wear you out with a bunch of the wrong people like Internet Dating Sites or packages discussed above, but to be judicious in who you  meet.  Also the fee should not be excessive because this is not New York or L.A.

Those are your two choices practically speaking.  It is up to each individual which definition of a “matchmaker” fits for them.

Denver Franchise Matchmaking Service Just Doesn’t Want to Work for Their Clients

Upon the first phone call from my newest client, during the course of discussing which other matchmaking services she has used, she shared the following information (I’m not going to tell you which service because if you call them you will recognize them immediately):

First they quoted six dates in six months for $3500.  When she asked about the interviewing process they told her they interview her over the phone, set her up a couple of times and then meet with her.  Can you believe that?  Now they don’t even want to interview you BEFORE setting you up or charging you this huge amount of money for 6 “dates”.

What I have to say about that is any single consumer who decides to join a “dating” service who operates in this way deserves what they get.  Back to you have to be a good consumer!  Services like these do not lie to you when they quote their fees and tell you how they do business.  So if knowing that information you decide to join you cannot blame anyone but yourself.

But why not be a better consumer since you are trying to find the best way to meet a mate/companion?  Services who charge outrageous fees in Denver, interview you in public forums, do not show you profiles WITH pictures of potential matches, even if you are buying a “package of dates for a limited period of time”, are not real matchmakers looking to serve you.

However, because these other local services are charging such high fees, people sometimes wonder why my fees are so much lower and perhaps decide that Bon Jour Matchmaking in its 25th year of matchmaking may not be of value.  Rather than evaluating services’ value by their fees, they should be measuring what the service provides  for them.  Read What Am I Paying For at Bon Jour Matchmaking Service? and Posts To Read Before Joining Any Denver Matchmaking Service.

To judge a service’s quality and value to you as a client by the fact they are charging exceedingly high fees is without merit.  You must judge a “matchmaking” service by what it does for you.  How in-depth their interviews are, the amount of information they share with you about potential matches, how long they’ve been in business and a variety of other factors.

 

TIPS FOR SELECTING A GOOD MATCHMAKER

The Good Matchmaker

We tend to measure a successful matchmaker by the number of marriages that result. However, there are many matchmakers who are held in high esteem by their clients, even though their marriage ratio isn’t that high. They’re the matchmakers who really listen to their clients, make suggestions that are close to what their clients are looking for, give their clients encouragement and guidance, and make them feel good about themselves and their dating situation.

Why Matchmaking Clients Need Mentoring

It can take time for a matchmaker to put one match together (thus the open-ended contract in Bon Jour Matchmaking). One might wonder why she should also spend time mentoring her clients. The answer is that getting two people to go out on a date is only the first step in the courtship process.  Bon Jour has had hundreds of marriages, many because I corrected miscommunications between clients or lack of communication.

People don’t always meet for the first time and “know” they are meant for each other. Many people struggle through the relationship building process, such as what they should expect to happen at each stage of dating, when they should open up about different subjects, how to pace their dating, what are healthy emotions during dating, what they should learn about each other, whether it’s right to end their interaction (i.e., I just had a couple who went out on about 8 dates and both were wondering whether they should continue since neither was feeling any chemistry.  They kept seeing each other due to mutual appreciation for each other’s qualities hoping it would develop, but it hadn’t.  I did feel that they would have known whether they had chemistry by this point and suggested, with their agreement, that they move on) and how and when they can tell that someone is right for them. Their matchmaker has good insight and is willing to take the time to be helpful knowing both sides of the story.

A matchmaker can use mentoring skills even if a client doesn’t approach them for advice. She can help set the tone for a successful first meeting and encourage someone who is ambivalent to agree to meeting a potential match. She can tactfully recommend that a client address issues that may interfere with successful dating, such as unrealistic expectations, less-than-optimal social skills or dating skills, not knowing how to maximize their appearance, or an emotional issue from their past that may be blocking them from moving forward.

All in all, matchmakers who mentor their clients as the need arises can make the difference between a match that doesn’t progress well and one that leads to a happy, enduring relationship.

THIS IS WHAT AN UNPROFESSIONAL MATCHMAKER LOOKS LIKE…

UPDATE:  It is now 2022 and over these several years since this incident, several other “matchmakers” around the country have contacted me in a similar way.  They don’t know me, my service or my clients NOR DO THEY ASK ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THOSE!  Yet they are more than willing to ask me to pimp out my clientele so they can fulfill THEIR contract!  THESE ARE NOT MATCHMAKERS!  Consumers need to start being more savvy instead of being ripped off constantly.  READ the contract in full before signing it!  With every new client, they have to read the contracts in front of me before I start the interview.  It’s been that way for 34 years!

I received this email. It is so unprofessional I can’t believe it. Does her “client” even know she’s doing this? She doesn’t say who she is, anything about the client other than she was married to a “successful” businessman and is farming out some man who “has a place in Aspen” in exchange.   She clearly did not read my website as I don’t just arbitrarily match someone without a full interview, etc. of my own.  My clients are paying for the ability to view a full 6 page profile and pictures.  As well as the knowledge that I have personally met and interviewed each and every client.

If you run across someone like this RUN THE OTHER WAY!  It turns out she’s a “matchmaker” from Tulsa, OK called Ambiance Matchmaking after I did some research.  Very unprofessional and unimpressive.  There is no explanation of who she is, her company, even her full name in this email.  On behalf of REAL Matchmakers and their trusting clients I’m offended!  But you can bet she wrote to every Matchmaker in Denver and someone will bite…

Hi Michele!

I have a client who has just moved to Denver from Tulsa. She is 47, adorable, fit and fun. Was married to a very successful businessman. Not sure how long she intends to remain in Colorado. Her love life will have a direct impact on that decision. If you could help with a match or two I’d be more than happy to make one of my male clients, 62, fit, handsome and charming (has place in Aspen) available to some of your women in their fifties. He is off-the-chart, I assure you. But down to earth as well. He divides his time between a ranch here in OKC, travel and Aspen.

Let me know what you think and I can their digital files sent over to you.

Thank you and many kind regards,

Leslie

Later I received the following from one of her clients:

Dr. D. says:
September 8, 2014 at 1:09 PM Edit

Hi, I was duped by Leslie Wardman. I went all the way from Little Rock, AR to Aspen, CO to meet someone whom Leslie and her staff factually misrepresented. The woman in Aspen was LOVELY but we both had been severely mislead about each other, and had we known each other’s situation, we would not have had a “date”. This woman is almost as upset about it as me! So, I’m out thousands of dollars for the trip, plus a non-refundable fee from Ambiance Matchmaking. Thank you for your blog.

I heard from the woman he is speaking of also and she is as upset as he is!  He was charged $4,000 and the Aspen woman was charged $6,000.

THIS DENVER MATCHMAKER IS MORE THE TORTOISE THAN THE HARE

As you read through this website you will realize that Bon Jour Matchmaking Service has the philosophy of the tortoise by having an open-ended contract giving every client enough time for their best match to come in.  Not setting clients up just to set them up by ignoring their specifications and does not sell packages of dates for a finite period of time.

You can be like the hare and play it as a numbers game running through people who may not be honest on the Internet dating sites, buying packages of dates for a finite period, bragging about how many people you have met.  But that approach just wears you out, in my opinion.  It also erodes your positive attitude when you meet person after person who does not fit for you or who has misrepresented themselves.

Over the 33 years of professional matchmaking in Denver my clients have had the most success by thoughtfully selecting in collaboration with me the most appealing, most compatible and similar goals that match up with theirs.  And, of course, the chemistry.  With over 600 singles who have found permanent love through Bon Jour Matchmaking it seems to be a proven theory…along with the proverb that stands the test of time.

LET ME HELP YOU CORRECT INEFFECTIVE DATING PATTERNS

I’ve received feedback about my Blog that people love my anecdotal stories as they help clarify my points.  So to illuminate this point…I have found with some of my clients that they have a regular routine of some kind that they don’t change when they come in here and meet potential mates.  Whether it be skiing every weekend in the winter, boating every weekend in the summer, going to their place in the mountains every weekend or whatever, once you have decided to work with a professional Matchmaker and meet good potential mates you HAVE to be flexible with your schedule.  You can do that routine when you are single, or even in a relationship but you HAVE to make the time to nurture a potential relationship and show flexibility.

I used to have a very attractive female client who owned several places in the mountains and two dogs.  On Thursday she would go to the mountains (with her dogs) until Sunday.  She would NEVER change her schedule to accommodate someone she was dating.  She took her dogs everywhere, including to our interview and her first meetings with matches.  I’m a real animal person and don’t like animals locked up in a car for two hours and I’m sure that made her dates feel uncomfortable.  But even more I received feedback from every guy she met that she wouldn’t fit time in her weekend schedule to get together.  So they moved on.

Someone who does that looks very selfish, very inflexible and doesn’t appear to have a desire to nurture a relationship.  All in all she appeared as a poor partner and I was never able to seal the deal for her.  I spoke with her about the feedback numerous times and she claimed she would change but never did…and BTW she’s still single, surprise.  I am no longer working with her as I cannot disappoint my male clients and waste their time when she won’t comply.

Recently I’ve had another beautiful female client join my service.  Despite many conversations with her during and after her interview, she has never told me that she goes to the mountains every weekend from Friday to Sunday.  I learned about this from feedback of her matches.  They asked her for another date and she is gone every weekend so they became frustrated and moved on.  The feedback from clients is invaluable.

I have not spoken with her about it yet as she is in the mountains and has no phone or internet service there…I am not only concerned about this pattern but that she hid it from me even though we’ve spoken so many times.  I suspect she thought if she told me I would not work with her because deep down she has to know that this may undermine any success.  But I always find out, if not directly from the client, then from feedback from their matches.  When I receive negative feedback from 2 people I address that with the person so they can correct that behavior.

If a client is using it to turn off the other person because they aren’t interested but don’t know how to tell them, BAD IDEA.  Just merely say how nice they are and attractive (if they are) but the chemistry just isn’t there.  No one can argue with that!  But don’t say things to turn them off as your rejection.  Man up and be honest, trust me, they appreciate that.