DENVER DATING COACHES AND MATCHMAKING SERVICES WHO CHARGE MEN AND COACH WOMEN

Sadly there are services in Denver who charge only the men for their services and have “cattle calls” for “gorgeous” women to place with these men.  The fee is exorbitant from what I’ve seen and been told.  Men have stated that they don’t appreciate being the only ones who pay while the women, who are not vetted, just show up as if it were an interview for a modeling job.  These men have stated they want women who also are making a financial investment in love.

Then there are the Denver matchmaking and dating coaches who matchmake the men and coach the women, again with a pool of women to select from for their male clients.  To me that implies both that the women are making all of the mistakes and don’t know what they’re doing while the men get away with just paying a fee and selecting from a pool of women.

After 26 years in the matchmaking business and seeing many, many, many services come and go, I don’t understand why, especially professional Denver singles, wouldn’t hire a Matchmaker who does it all.  A professional who isn’t partial to one sex or the other by only charging, in most cases the men, a Matchmaker who coaches all of her clients and actually matchmakes.  THAT is what a professional Matchmaker does.  Not just a little of this and a little of that and charges one sex but not the other, etc.  Neither sex is getting the services they should.  AND don’t pay a fee more than $5,500+ thinking that you will get more personalized service or that their clients are more high end.  In all the cases I’ve seen, read and heard about the exact opposite is true.  That extra money is going towards overhead, mostly advertising, not at all towards the clients’ services.

Please read POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE before deciding which direction to go in.  I feel you might find that page very helpful.

WHY ARE THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE’S FEES SO REASONABLE IN THIS MARKET?

(Please click on the BLUE print to go to Posts)

From the beginning in 1989, based on the fees charged by the one dating service in town, Great Expectations, I decided there was a less expensive way to conduct this service.  Along with many other features of GE that I did the opposite of, I also eliminated as much overhead as possible.  Overhead is the first thing that will cause a business to fail.

For 25 years I have kept this business model but what I’ve found to be interesting is that, although none of the other Denver “matchmakers” have been in business as long or have the track record of success, they charge considerably more than I.  The perception by the general public is sometimes that the more a business charges the more quality that business or service is.  NOT TRUE!  One need only read reviews and speak with singles who have used those services to learn that you don’t always get what you pay for.

I believe that a matchmaker provides a service that can change not only the two lives of the people who connect and fall in love, but family members who are attached to them.  When successful it can be a life changing experience and is worth a certain investment in hopes of finding that new life.  But there is a limit to charging outrageous fees just to make money off of people wanting to find a mate.  The investment is different, in my opinion, based on the particular city.  New York, Miami and L.A. will have higher fees just like every other business in those cities.  What the service provides…services who charge more than $5500 and don’t show information, don’t show background check reports, don’t show pictures are obviously just in it for the money.  Those are the things you should expect to receive when paying those fees.  Along with coaching and being matched with people who fit your preferences!

My belief is and always has been that those services just come along as part of becoming a client in Bon Jour Matchmaking.  Your investment is based on what I feel I can offer each individual client.

 

RERUN…WHY MATCHMAKERS, DATING COACHING AND DATING SERVICES DON’T WORK FOR EVERYONE

Is It Always the Services’ Fault?

After 34 years of matchmaking in Denver (or this applies to anywhere) the impression has become very clear that singles think that if they “pay a lot of money” to a matchmaker, matchmaking service, etc. THAT will be the definitive way to meet the right match.  The more expensive the service, the more of a guarantee they “think” they are making to assure this outcome.

As you’ve read on my last Post about an outrageously expensive “matchmaking” company run by Lisa Clampitt in New York, she appeared, from the Complaint, to have not disclosed information or followed her client’s wishes.  But the guy who wrote that Complaint agreed to pay $1500 to meet ONE woman without seeing any information except a picture.  So whose fault was that really?  You have to be a wise consumer!  The fact he paid $1500 did not make this match outstanding.  In fact he reports that he did not really care for her.

Many people who come to me have already tried the Internet dating and/or various local services and obviously since they are now coming to me they have not been successful.  In many cases it was something with the service.  In many cases those people have definite dating issues that get in the way of their success.  Apparently the other services did not assist/coach them to correct those issues.  So no matter what they try if they continue those habits and ways of thinking they will get the same result.  It isn’t the vehicle, it’s the driver.

You can ask any of my clients, I really get in their business and try to clarify, redirect, encourage, be the voice of reason and common sense as I work with them in Bon Jour Matchmaking.  But it is up to them as to whether they listen to me.  Definitely click on this link to the Post as it will illuminate what I just said.  I can talk to some clients until I can talk no more and they will continue either not to listen and do the opposite or maintain doing what they’ve always done.

One of the main areas where this issue comes up is in the selection of people to meet.  This is not the Internet.  Do not conduct your search in the same way you would using an Internet Dating Service or Apps or you will surely get the same results!  Don’t come in and say, “this is the type I always date”.  That one phrase tells both of us exactly why you have been unsuccessful.  So as a client of Bon Jour we work very hard together to be more flexible, more open-minded and reasonable when selecting your matches together.  That’s why it works so much of the time, but not all of the time or for everyone.

REVIEW FROM MY CLIENT OF A DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Hi Michele,

I know you like to post on your website warning single people of the local Denver matchmaking services that are less than scrupulous.  As you know, I used It’s Just Lunch (should be called, It’s Just a Huge Waste of Your Time and Money) before I started working with you at Bon Jour Matchmaking. I’ve had problems with them calling me every few months ever since I stopped using their service…which I stopped in July 2012!

I hope you can warn people – do not give these people your contact information. They will just keep calling and calling until they drive you crazy, even if you spell out for them exactly what you didn’t like and tell them in no uncertain terms you would NEVER utilize their so called service again. I would complain to their Corporate HQ but the people that run this are so dishonest, I know it wouldn’t make a whit of difference. Thank goodness for caller ID, but still a huge aggravation. In my humble opinion, lack of respect for your privacy is another great reason to be careful who you work with in such a personal endeavor.

Hope you’re having a great weekend.

Best,

J.H.

DO YOU WONDER WHAT COACHING I DO AND WHAT WILL CAUSE A PROFILE TO BE DROPPED?

The email below clearly shows my coaching and a brand new client who hired me specifically for that, who clearly does not want a relationship either with me or my clients to be successful: (the names have been disguised to protect the innocent and that CLIENT)

Dear CLIENT,
I received the email above from K this morning. So…here is a list of all of the things you have, according to her that turned her off and put me off:

1. Sent the answers to the questions inside an email without the questions when told to attach it so it could be printed out and attached to your profile;
2. Sent the total opposite pictures of what I not only asked you to send, but showed you on the computer at the time of your interview. Got into a fight with me when I kept trying to explain what type of pics are the most successful;
3. Didn’t call me a day or two prior to meeting S to hear her profile again even though I reminded you at least 3 times both verbally and in writing to do so;
4. Didn’t call me with feedback after meeting S although I told you to at least 2 to 3 times both verbally and in writing to do so;
5. Texted S the next day even though I explicitly pointed out that is a bad idea and women don’t like it (which you read on all of their profiles);
6. Made a lunch date with K even though I told you to have coffee or drinks with an option;
7. Chose the busiest, noisiest restaurant during the lunch hour to meet K where she couldn’t even hear the specials it was so loud. I specifically say on my website NEVER to do that.  NEVER to meet for lunch during a work day or on the first meeting;
8. I told you to be specific at the end of the meeting so she would know where things stood and you weren’t…again;
9. You texted her the next day, even though I spent 10 minutes last week explaining why NOT to do that;
10. You didn’t send S a card or call her Valentine’s Day even though I strongly suggested you do so;
11. You haven’t called to give me feedback on K;
12. Even in your text to K you were not specific about calling or when you might want to get together!

I give my clients A LOT of advice (at no extra charge BTW) as I am a “full service” matchmaker.  The above scenario tells me so much about this person and none of it is good.  You always have to think when you work with me that if you do this type of stuff what positive things can I now say to new people viewing your profile who ask my opinion?  This is a very sad circumstance because this person appeared to have a lot going for him, but there is no way I would put my women through dealing with a person who so disrespects me when the primary reason he hired me was for the coaching.  I can no longer work with this client.

So, please, please, if you are joining Bon Jour Matchmaking for the personal touch which includes coaching, then work with me.  This guy did not follow even one instruction or suggestion that I gave him.  If that describes you, perhaps a service that sells packages and is more hands off is a better choice.  I have to protect my clients from people who operate like this, that is my job and my pledge to clients.

WHAT DOES OPEN-ENDED CONTRACT MEAN?

Recently I’ve had the experience with several new clients when they initially called asking what an “open-ended contract” meant.  Other Denver matchmaking services may refer to it as a “Lifetime Contract” or a “Platinum Package” and charge you a lot extra to have that benefit.  EVERY client of Bon Jour has an open-ended contract!  That’s the way it should be if you are a REAL matchmaker.  You never know when that right person will appear and you want to be there when they do!  The longest so far that I’ve worked with a client is 11 years and she DID get married in that 11th year to a man who became a widower the year before and joined my service after that…see, you never know when…

My feeling is that calling it a Lifetime Contract or package is kind of depressing.  Also that is not what I mean by open-ended.  What I mean is that you are a client until…until you meet the right person and feel that you’ve accomplished your goal whether it be marriage or a lifetime partner.  It does not mean that once you’ve left the service for whatever reason you can just come back.  If you tell me to “drop your file” that will END the contract.  If you wish to come back in then you would have to start from the beginning.  I would have to re-interview you, etc.

What I’ve been told makes people suspicious is what I referenced above.  Other Denver matchmaking services charge so much more, if they even offer that option at all.  Every client in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service receives this contract.  As I’ve said throughout this site, I cannot promise that the day you join the perfect person will be here waiting for you.  They might be but I have no way of knowing that.  So you need to have the time for that “right” person to join the service and we don’t know when that will be.  But you surely want to be here when they do.

Services that offer limited contracts do not give you the time for that right person to present themselves.  They are most interested in trying to re-sign you again to make another fee.  In Bon Jour you only pay the filing fee once, at the time of your initial interview.  That’s it, you’re in until marriage, moving out-of-state or death do us part…

I hope that clarifies what I mean by open-ended contract.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE

Hopefully by this time, the 36th anniversary of the service, as well as the 14th year for this website, most everything you should want to know has been answered somewhere on here. Perhaps even multiple times. I’ve tried to keep things direct and concise as I, myself, am not a big reader and appreciate when a writer gets to the point.  Please view my Mission Statement.

The first thing you should read is the HOME PAGE for an overview. Just click on the highlighted link to go to that Page or Post.  If you are seriously interested in working with a matchmaker, you should also read HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR DENVER MATCHMAKER.

Another Page you may want to read is WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE INTERVIEW so there won’t be any surprises and you can view my home office. Yes, I have a private office in which I keep all my client profiles and where you can be candid and open when we meet, unlike services who interview you in public forums.

The next Page you should view is POSTS TO READ BEFORE JOINING ANY DENVER MATCHMAKING SERVICE. That Page has an abundance of Posts for you to access with both general information about dating services and matchmaking services as well as advice in a variety of areas, i.e., selecting services, matchmaking service fees, what turns men off, how to be a collaborative Bon Jour Matchmaking client, etc. Of course, you do not have to read every Post listed on that Page, just the ones that interest you the most.  There are many Posts you may come across that were written many years ago, so please keep that in mind.

CLIENTS’ REVIEWS is a Page you should read as those reviews of Bon Jour Matchmaking go all the way back to 1989 up to 2025. I could not include all Testimonials I’ve received over the 36+ years, however those should give you an idea of how clients feel about the structure and working with me.

For personal background information on me you should view the Page entitled ABOUT THIS PROFESSIONAL DENVER MATCHMAKER. This will give you info on my volunteer work in the community, how old I was when starting the service, etc.

There are approximately 800 Posts on my Blog all of which give you an insight into the clientele, my work ethic, the structure of the service and more.  Once you feel you understand the service, for the most part, and have questions, please phone me to chat. Especially phone me if you do not understand my philosophy or have questions about things you have read or perhaps missed reading. For my hours you may go to HOURS, LOCATIONS, FEES  for specifics.

I hope this Post/Page helps you navigate the site more easily and we can chat very soon! 303-756-8106

BEWARE OF ECLIENT.COM

WARNING ABOUT eClient.com…I signed up with them to be an Expert. First of all they do not vet their “experts” so anyone could claim to be an expert in any field and the callers won’t know the difference. Because there was no category at the time for a Matchmaker I put a profile in My Future (which is filled with psychics not matchmakers). They added my profile to My Health also so that they could generate more money. But I insisted I didn’t belong in either so they pulled the one from My Health. I kept getting calls from people who assumed I was a psychic and I answered assuming they were calling for a Matchmaker (I prominently posted Matchmaker). I wasted an enormous amount of time trying to straighten a number of problems out with this “company”.

Finally they removed me from My Future and put me on HOLD until they built up a category I SUGGESTED called My Love. They owe me money from taking calls for psychics in the tiny amount of $22.89. According to them they have “LOST” my information, that would probably include the balance information showing the calls and fees. They have never paid me! At this point, obviously, it’s not the $22.89, it’s the principle! If they won’t pay such a nominal fee for time spent and work that I shouldn’t even have been doing, they are unlikely to pay your fees as an expert that are higher. This was not only a really bad experience and waste of time for me (the expert) but also for the callers who end up paying for calls to the wrong expert.  UPDATE:  They FINALLY paid me without my sending the information they claimed to have lost and after I made a big fuss!

I read a couple of reviews from callers in Washington, DC and another state who were billed $1000 on their credit cards for calls that only lasted minutes!

In addition, they were showing logos of several national TV stations and TV shows implying they have been “featured” on those. There is NO evidence they have been covered by any of those!  They note such venues as NBC, ABC, CBS, Fox News, Rachel Ray, Dr. Phil and Inside Edition.  So this is a WARNING to both experts AND callers.  I contacted those companies and pointed out this “misinformation” to them.  Since then they have corrected it to read ADVERTISED ON.  But if I hadn’t they would have left the misleading information.  Be careful if you engage with this company on either side (expert or caller).  They just do not appear to be up and up.

They have now stopped responding to my emails asking for payment for my work.  To see their responses, which are outright lies, go to http://www.pissedconsumer.com/reviews and search eclient.  I’m going to include some of my frustration and their email responses below so that you can clearly see they are lying on that site.  I have kept 38 emails with them, that alone is worth more than the miniscule amount they owe me along with a multitude of suggestions I’ve made.  It’s too bad, seemed like a good idea but apparently the people running this are not the most upstanding individuals based on MY experience.

This is their response saying they put my check in PayPal which I repeatedly said NOT to do as I don’t have a PayPal account!  I selected SEND CHECK on the site when I signed up and in several emails asking for the money.  When I wrote and told them this (no PayPal account) below was their response:

Hi Michele,

Why do you telling us that we send a Paypal payment ? Could you send me this email ?

You’re check is sended.

Patrick
eClient Support Team

Hi Carol,
Thank you.  That’s probably a good idea for both of us.  I did receive 6 or 7 calls yesterday adding up to $22.98.  All of them were looking for psychics.  Several hung up on me when I explained I was a matchmaker not a psychic.  FYI, there are TONS of matchmakers around the country, even just here in Denver, so if you were to open such a category it would not be hard to find them.  You probably aren’t getting them because there is no appropriate category for them.

Please reactivate me as soon as you create that category.  Also, please be sure I am sent a check for the $22.98 on pay day.  Thank you!

Michele Fields

—–Original Message—–
From: eClient Customer Service
Sent: Jan 13, 2014 9:10 AM
To: Michele Fields
Subject: [Ticket ID: 603275] Re: Re: eClient – Application approved – [GKH-PUZUC-669]

eClient

Hi Michele,

We would like to open a new category but we would need to gather up additional experts to fill the category. For now we have taken your profile offline so that you do not receive any further calls until the appropriate category is opened.

Thank you,

Carol Provost

Dear Eclient Staff,

You really need to fix this situation.  This is the second call I’ve gotten looking for a psychic even though my information clearly states that I am a Matchmaker.

My Future is the wrong category for a Matchmaker.  You ask for suggestions as to other new categories but I sent one in and it was ignored.  You need a category for either Romance, Relationships or Love.  NOT a subcategory, a regular category “My Romance”, “My Relationships” whatever…

Your callers are getting frustrated calling me looking for a psychic, they are not reading my bio…you are losing money that way!

Michele Fields
Professional Matchmaker

Hi Michele,

 We had spoken a few weeks ago and you suggested a new category for love and romance. Well we are launching it. It will be called My Love.
We will be putting your profile in there for sure and will be accepting other applications. Do you have an idea how we can reach other matchmakers or experts like yourself who help people set up and manage their profiles on dating sites and give advice in that area?
Thanks for your help!
John
eClient.com
SO I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM ECLIENT SAYING I’VE BEEN PAID IN MY PAYPAL ACCOUNT…I DO NOT HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT AND HAVE REPEATEDLY TOLD THEM TO SEND ME A CHECK.  ARE YOU GETTING THE PICTURE WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Should you be interested in seeing more of these emails you are welcome to contact me.  Michele Fields

NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE OF CHEMISTRY

One only needs to watch The Bachelor each season from start to finish to see that nothing takes the place of chemistry.

At the beginning when there is a bevy of gorgeous women and hunky men the viewer may pick out who they personally feel are the best looking ones and assume those are the ones who will be there at the end.  But inevitably each season some of the most stunning and hunky singles are let go right out of the gate.  One reason is that the Bachelor(ette) didn’t get to spend any time to get to know them a bit so they were cut loose.  But the other is chemistry which is undefinable.  It is not based on looks, it is something deep down that either resonates or doesn’t.

I personally know, from my vast dating experience that I’ve had chemistry with some people that normally I would not look at twice or maybe even once.  But upon meeting and in closer proximity it was just there.  The saddest thing is when you find someone very attractive but there is no chemistry.  You cannot force it…it’s there or it isn’t.

So when matchmaking the best I can do for my part is make sure that potential matches fit most of the basics one desires and because MY matchmaking is so collaborative with each client, they have the final say on who they feel the connection with after viewing a vast amount of information and photos.  That’s why Bon Jour Matchmaking has been so successful for 36 years!

FEBRUARY IS THE MONTH OF LOVE

Is this one of those holidays (Valentine’s Day) that singles hate?  Do all of the commercials of couples make you cringe and create anxiety?  Have you tried the Internet dating sites and gotten totally overwhelmed and disillusioned?  And/or have you tried some Denver dating services that throw parties, have dinners, discussion groups or activities but always give you the disclosure that they are not a matchmaking service?

This is a good month to research Denver matchmakers.  If you start working with a Denver matchmaker now perhaps by the Spring/Summer you will be in a relationship.  With one caveat…if you go into working with a coach and/or matchmaker, rather than say this is the type I always date or this is not the type I usually date, try meeting some people who are a bit different than your usual.  It appears that your “usual type” is not working.  So if you try a new vehicle to meet someone, also open your mind and taste as to who you should meet going forward.

There’s really no point in working with a professional if your operation remains the same as when you were on the Internet or becomes even more narrow.  A professional matchmaker should work personally with you to open up your taste and mind to a variety of types that you wouldn’t normally run across or consider.  It is your responsibility to go into a relationship with a professional matchmaker with an open heart and an open mind.

In 25 years, the clients who have been the most successful were the ones who were open minded to singles who fit well in many areas, even if their appearance wasn’t exactly their taste or their “usual”.  That is 25 years of actual observed success in Bon Jour Matchmaking Service.